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omg it reminds me of my time at a crackhouse x

Grape

This deserves more views hahaha

It’s literally rupauls drag race audio

Things will get better , there will be someone that will compliment you & will create awesome adventures with you , all these things take time , we all learn & will continue to learn from our experience, may the geeky gods grant you many days of happiness & spectacular joy , never forget how epic you are 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

Hey buddy, Daddy's here😂 So, 3 different guys.3 different scenarios. And you went straight to the stereo "bad boy" type! It's like what did happen was just inevitable! This 44yr old sounds less adult than you! It's the negative qualities you have removed (thanks in good part to you grandma and mum), I think this guy is! It's like all your negative persona are in this guy. And that's what you see mate. A bad reflection of you, you no longer are. Besides, I 💘 this Kyle. Never looked more radiant, more happy, more self confident.And I don't want you to lose that. So, what would I do? Dump his non hairy ass!!! You need someone who mirrors you. Go ask this West-end man out. Gotta good vibe about him! And come on up and see us😘

Hi, Blue x Welcome back Kyle. I LOVE Cooper!!! GORGEOUS X You look, great man, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed! Like the idea, "What would you do". Let you start it off...in your underpants of course 😘

CZcams active!?! 👍🏻👏🏻

*while my sisters are thirsty*

Just viewed this after you're trip to Polland. Best thing you could have done was to get away and enjoyed every moment of it. The old additive 'time is a healer'. Hope it is for you and now moving forward. x

Kyle that was so great - you are so brave to have gone on your own but glad it was worth it ! You are such a great communicator so it was really interesting too. A beautiful man in a beautiful city - perfect ! Love No 1 xx

Hey Kyle. I knew you had met the guy before flying off, I know how much he means too. Just kinda happy you know you must put you first! First time I traveled by myself was to Perth-Australia! Talk about nerves! But I loved it! And I know, this was something you HAD to do. Honest-to-God choosing Kraków was inspired! THAT apartment! Those ceiling lights! Just the perfect place to relax. And I knew Kraków has a Gay bar! But I understand what you man. Just because we're Gay, but doesn't mean we HAVE to gallop to the nearest club/bar & pretty much ignore everything else! It's the experiences you feel elsewhere, that you keep for a lifetime! Auschwitz. Think of everything gone on in your life, all the bad, negative stuff, then walk through the museum. What happened to those Human beings, by another lot of 'Humans', puts ALL into perspective. Yes...everyone should go there. I'm proud you did...&...x Shame I couldn't see the food tour. The food looked fantastic from Instagram pics! I know you'll do a 'follow-up' but I can see this holiday was needed! You managed, despite your anxiety, to relax, have time just for you. Might have the 'solo-travel bug' now... John X

wth

So much brighter, can see it in your eyes & how you sound. Confusion sorted...now I know who it is (I think). Just focus on you, be happy in yourself & all will be good, esp when you see him on equal terms (hopefully) Personally, I'm happy you kept up doing your vlogs. Really a positive way to 'look back'.And you do make a difference Kyle.😊 I want some 'Naked party' pics pls... be my gift 😜 If you're coming up, say hi..maybe a 🎁 Oh, botox is your choice...period! 'dick-straws' LOVE IT X

Great to see You looking and feeling fantastic! 😍

Sending you love and big hugs Kyle x

So sorry Kyle , it seems like the world is crazy at the moment , but you will get through this , be kind to yourself , give yourself time , relax things will get better eventually, I was in a similar space , got destroyed, but it does get better , your not alone , cyber hugs the geeky gods are on your side , keep safe.

It's how you feel that's important. I know you're skin is pretty darn fine, but, it's how you feel! I know a guy, who did the very treatment you're planning to do tomorrow & he didn't regret it. Who knows, I may take the 'needle'! Lord knows I need plasterin' mind, instead of injections!!! Promise you'll come back to show us & how it felt! As for your ONLYFANS, good on ya!!! Works for my American brother...

Kyle, I am so sorry! I just can't understand this? I know sometimes you can get scared, or just worried about how things are developing to fast in any relationship, but that just doesn't explain the cold treatment put on you. I know you both went into this open (well I know you definitely did) & honest, but to treat you like that is just not OK. To treat anyone like this is not on! I understand the reason for what you did after. We're both alike Kyle. We share similar emotional responses, same attitudes in life. So do not feel bad. Just a lapse! You know it! Your friends know it! And you went straight back to counseling, so you did the right thing. FUCK! Just when you looked bright-eyed, full of positive energy, he goes and does this! NO EXCUSES HUN! He did this.NOT YOU! X If there was any empathy, he'd understand just how much he's hurt you, & in the cruelest way possible! For know, you surround yourself with those YOU KNOW you can trust, who love you for you & heal! And maybe come back here... I've got a ton of Disney films to watch. LOVE YOU, J. X

"Rape with you eyes", I must explore this sometime with you, perhaps you can give me lessons... I think we have all been caught out being attracted to str8/married guys, (I'm in the situation right now), but finger burning is part of the course, eh? I'd imagine you have guys throwing themselves at you Kyle, if I was younger (45); I'd certainly do so, when I'm in London ;-)

I check on a regular basis on Twitter and see who has unfollowed and blocked, and for the latter I normally post a picture of the block with a good middle finger, and then stick pins in my voodoo doll

Not required at all but whatever makes you happy ! X

Always honest and insightful- gay and straight guys can be friends and confidantes x

Love you Kyle !

So you can block someone, but they cant choose to block you?

Hey Kyle.So it's happened huh? Think every single person who's been there, will know that feeling of WHAT!!! BLOCKED ME??? Had my fair share..including this person, who has just blocked you, blocked me as well. Honestly...it hurts. More if you have had some relationship with that person,whether just friends, besties or lovers. It hurts! It's the way social media has such an impact in our lives, that we can "delete" a person, at the touch of a button..THAT EASY RIGHT! Except it isn't. Keeping some of your own friends as theirs, is passive/aggressive Kyle.We know what we're doing when we commit to the act of blocking. It's just an act of cowardice! You wanted to at least sit down & resolve this, but this person didn't/couldn't/wouldn't. Leave you with (one of) my fav quotes. "If you focus on what you left behind, you will never be able to see what lies ahead." Stay positive..love ya John X

I’m sorry, but this is BS!! For someone who poses pictures on a daily basis, including nude selfies, drinking every night at the clubs, or throw parties, this got nothing to do with anxiety. This irritates me because I actually do anxiety, personal and socially, and I even been bullied my many gays who claim be in a safe environment and it’s like being in a real life gay adaptation of “Mean Girls” where gay, especially in London mostly do is judge for your body type, your financial status, and your mental awareness. If you want people to get to know you, should you be the same way to others? It’s because of these people, that has caused my anxiety increased to the point where I don’t trust anyone because all they do is hurt you mentally, emotionally, and even physically, and by hurting people, it can even lead 5em to isolation, alcohol and substance abuse, and even to point of suicide. I got nothing against Kyle, i dont know him, nor he knows me, but from I saw in the past, i see a thin line between actually anxiety and seeking attention

Hi Kyle. Love your use of Tautology in the title. It expresses what you are going through. Actually what most of us do. A lot of our adult illnesses can come from experiences in childhood. We both have had pretty much similar things happen, that only now, are we able to come to terms with. Like with medication, counselling etc... This helps! Especially bumping into people who are so negative, so rotten, that they kinda prey on those they judge 'weaker.' This ex/landlord is just the kinda guy to abuse you. It's dead easy. Leaves you feeling like that school kid all over again. But it's how you deal now with this. You have come so far from 'Manchester'. Cannot delete our past...but we bloody well can use it as a marker for how we live the rest of our life.Making sure we know how to tackle any issues that may come. Surrounding yourself with people YOU want! Not the other way round! Doesn't mean we'll never be anxious ever again...it does mean we're more able to deal with it. The right way! In short...I'm damn proud of you! Oh, get rid of that fuckers contacts..wont stop you running into him, but you will have the satisfaction of looking right at him feeling strong! John X

I remember the first time I heard that phrase, "THE PINK POUND". Thought we where being issued our very own coin, all pinky! Don't really believe it's an "Age thing"But the first time to a gay scene, especially one like The Village, is bound to blow your mind! Really no point resisting that pull...that urge like you said Kyle.I think a lot has to do with technology! In my youth, all we had was mags. ATTITUDE was my 1st experience of a world beyond my small town, that was gay! Now information is available at the touch or swipe of your fingertips. That mystery has all but vanished! In it's place, though, we have this world of responsibilities now. We know the bars in quite towns on there own, whilst big cities pull in all the stops. We can't use ignorance anymore. And due to that fact, we have become more responsible. Not just getting pissed,high & fucked! But being active in LGBTQI. Involving in Prides, fundraisers & social meet ups. Like I am & like you are Kyle. The pink pound is worth a lot. It's our pound & it should be cherished. John xx

So good to hear you had a supreme time. Nice to hear someone celebrate themselves and their life with so much joy. X

So pleased for you lovely man x

Hey Kyle. THIS is just what I was hoping for. Treating you as the great man you are! Happens to be a great gay man too!. Whatever may happen with your sisters, if it falls like it did with your mom, then OK.For now, you've found a good, healthy relationship with your Grandma & mom. I know how happy you are this has happened the way it has. Love ya. John.x AKA The Northern Friend.

Is it only over a week since 🌈. I'd like to say thank you! Thanks for being determined to come to Manchester with all the positive vibes you could muster. NOTHING was gonna stop you celebrating...not even that dishy ticket inspector 😚 What a Pride! So full of love & good vibes & laughter & music & dance! It was like once inside, every single person felt & shared it. Had my fair share of hugs n kisses, & like you, I catched up with old friends. So did everybody I reckon..it's Pride!!! Love, respect & freedom to be YOU! Even got a hug from you 💋 after I literally ran down the street after you😂 I knew you'd appreciate how our Village has changed. Changed for the better too. As Via is my haunt, I just knew you'd love it! So happy you came, happy you loved every minute..& yep you, Mark & James are coming for PRIDE 2019' Want them to experience our vibe! Though I don't know them, big thanks to your friends Nick & Samuel for looking after you! Thanks for the Montage to end with. #LoveWins 💋 The Northern Friend.

So glad to hear that the issues you had with your mama, has resolved petal. Nice jumper btw, matches your fuzzy face

Mmm, hope for me yet at 44 then petal. There are too many in Team Gay, willing to catfight and bitch thru life, but you know (as we all can see) your way above that level, and like cream, you'll rise to the top. Keep the vlogs coming, so your subscribers can keep cuming as well ;-)

So glad to hear things are taking a turn for the better, x

Firstly, thank you Kyle for this vlog. JEALOUSY! It's the one word that kept entering my mind as I listened to you describe how someone became your best friend from the start. Who helped you when you truly needed the help. Helped you settle in London town too. Who might've saw it in HIS interest to keep you protected. People grow. We never stay the same. At some point through all the pain you're going through, you grew Kyle. You became more than just the drugged/drunk wild guy. You found new people. They became close, 3 you now feel are your besties. In his eyes, he saw his role being usurped by these newcomers. I'm sure he tried to like them, but this friend Kyle, is highly possessive. He let you to take drugs again, knowing you're wanting to stay far away. WHAT KINDA BESTIE DOES THAT? Does he think if he gets you hooked again, you're his again? Sorry to be harsh, was't going to be until you said that Kyle. It's abuse Period! The fact he hasn't asked how it went with you're mum shows this. Another aspect of your life Kyle, that's becoming resolved (however slowly) is one more distance in this friends eyes. Someone who would rather you be in a bad state, just to be always near you, is no true friend Kyle. Deep down I think you're realising who your real ones are. The Northern Friend X

First. Well done. This could not have been easy. Really, really happy you're still undergoing counselling. It truly does help, but don't beat yourself so much. So much of this is process Kyle. No time frame, mealy your journey. Being raped, not being allowed to process that at the time is something we may never adapt too. Guess we focus on the 'NOW' Funny how events can indirectly lead to something you felt could never happen. Meeting your mum, after 8 months apart like that, feels like it was supposed to happen (how I see it anyway Kyle). Sounds like it did go as happy as it could have. Your mum is your mum. Whatever happens from now on, there has to be respect & understanding. If that can be used as a basis, then there's no doubt you will have a healthy relationship with your mum. You have changed Kyle. This year is your self discovery year. How Kyle Eccleston sees himself, & others too. I know it's something to be so very proud of. I know you're seeing your mum soon. Hope it goes as well. You deserve as much Love, The Northern Friend x

Missed this Kyle. The cas way you drop into an American accent👌.That beautiful Lancashire voice 👌, But I get why you've been away. Not all us 40 somethings are like him Kyle. But what a plank! You ever bump into him, just be polite n stuff, be YOU basically Kyle! I suppose when folk say "you look good/great as you are", it might not be meant to be hurtful. It's more helpful to be supportive & positive. You're doing what you enjoy, feels good & getting that toned body. Just like me😀 OK. What that guy said was deliberately aimed to hurt! It was planned the moment he saw you. It was the act of a petty, insecure, hateful man, who probably is jealous of you surrounded by best friends enjoying life! Way to much growing hate in this world. No need! #LoveNotHate #LoveWins #HatersGonnaHate Good advice Kyle. Your northern friend John 💋

Glad you had a fab, non-debauched time! You had a doughnut for 'afters', so all good x Forgot all about the 'like being on Instagram' comment. Ever get all "stalkerville" on you, just say OI! ;) You're on holiday for a reason. To unwind! Live it up! Do stuff you might not do (or would!) at home. Sorry it all went south at the end. Can't like everyone huh? Not going to comment about you & Benito.He's a nice lad! Besides, don't have a right really. I am however VERY happy you & you're Grandma are talking.One thing I felt celebrating. Really hope this continues Kyle. Just realised I'm commenting AFTER the date! So I know how this one ends!! Always love you're vids & I hope I've not waffled, "I have a point, I promise.";) John Jamie x

Hello Kyle. Kinda enjoy these "live sessions". Adds a certain closeness to it. Makes people feel there a (little) part of you're world.A 'heads-up' when you're about to go live might help too.Or go live during the evening? So, this guy, I believe, really likes you Kyle.To wait a few years after being not being able to meet you, then straight up, re-asking you, must have floored you. It's so romantic!!! I know you have anxiety & confidence issues, you know I have too. I reckon he pretty much knows about (some) of these, but this guy sounds like he likes YOU! & everything that comes with you. (Craziness inc) I'm a romantic (hopeless). Always believe in destiny,in fate. You'll have some idea, deep inside by now, you're feelings for him. Maybe the new date won't have anywhere near as bad nerves. If so, this could be the start of something beautiful. Love ya John Jamie x

Who wouldn't want to go out with you petal? You've clearly got personality, warmth, as well as looks (and fur), you deserve to be happy X

Hi Kyle. I want to start with a thank you. I know you would've watched this back before posting, & I know that some things are incredibly personal! So thank you for sharing! I am so sorry it has come to this act of removing you're Father's name. I have someone very close in my life who had no choice but to do the same. So I know this is not something you're taking lightly Kyle. I almost welled up hearing you talk about you're Grandma. But I know why you need to do this.All this said, you know I always say; YOU FIRST!!! At the end of the day, it's all we have! Thank you for talking about you're drug/substance abuse. Swear we are living this identical/parallel life! Mine was alcohol! I reached my 'bottom' 3 years ago & climbed up & out! Never feel as alive now in a long time. Looking at you, I know you areputting that part of you're life way behind you. Get a dog!! As simple as that hun. Go get one! One that you connect with, bond with.Seeing you with King Gus, I see you at you're happiest. All relaxed & chilled! I think you know it's time! Having our Charlie has been a God-send, so go on, do it!!! Positivity!!! Next month you're in Grand Can (yeeeah) with friends. Sun, sea, sand & ....l Love the idea of 'A Jolly in Amsterdam!' as well. With Pride season soon upon us & a hot summer, it's all good news. Stay Positive! Be Happy! Love ya John.x

Awesome video , hope you have an epic day filled with lots of laughter ,adventures days , your making positive changes in your life , it’s difficult but your doing a good thing for yourself.

Hi Kyle. I'm so sorry it didn't work out for you guys. It sounds like an amicable split,which is a good positive thing to have happened. You've been through a lot already! Dating! Well as it's been a long time since I did that,but, from the 3 examples you mentioned, it seems not much has changed at all! You're like a romantic! Someone who wants a 'Tall, Dark & Muscular' man to sweep you away! To have a date in Makkies D's or not! & not to shag the second you stumble drunk home! If you change you're 'Type' that's you're decision! All 3 guys sound lovely! Though that 1st guy, well, the fact he was more than content just snuggling & talking, for me is MY kinda 'date' NO PRESSURE! But it is only what you want Kyle. I know we all have a TYPE! In a perfect world we wouldn't! We can spend our whole life searching, or the very 1st man is THE ONE! I guess we place so much pressure on us, we're ready for the fall! That said,, you should just be YOU Kyle! A guy who wants to love life...& live it! Just to leave all that stress of 'needing a boyfriend' But promise 2 things please. 1. Be happy! 2. NO TOILETRY DATES!!! Even after 6 days! Love ya John x

Find new family. Dont feel like victim. Pull back, live a nice life, dont act as needy guy. Be open to your blood family maybe they change in time.

Epic video , glad your feeling better , may the geeky gods bless you , grant you lots of laughter , adventures moments & good fun .

Hi Kyle. Good to have you back on here. No need to apologise. It's each to there own. Some post every single day, others once a week. It's the level which you feel most comfortable, that's the main thing. It's so good to see you 'back in routine' again. Spreading positive vibes to those miserable Londoners' is a credit to you. Keep it up! You & I have similar attitudes.Like, thinking positive & acting charitable, can only bring you positive things in life. Yet the slightest knock, brings both of us in a 'desperate need for Validation!' At lest you know I definitely do. You have such good friends around you.I think every one should have at least 1.Someone to turn to. Though I just can't find it in me to keep contact with an abuser,someone who assaulted someone, or me! Always value who you have! I really hope you're councillor can help you find some kind of peace? That the right word? Maybe help you find a settling of mind. I know the level of hurt you feel anyway. That said, you look good (always do), you're glow is back! & the positive vibe is all around you. Thank you Kyle. This is a close as I can be "talking with you" rather than the odd tweet. Looking forward to the new blog. Keep singing & dancing! X John Jamie.

So your thirsty then

I'm so going to order and try this!!xx