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I know I'm a bit late to comment, but writing this as a trauma holder of a DID system, I've really struggled with being able to trust my reality or my experiences and I sometimes have a hard time trusting my host. Your videos bring a lot of comfort to me and decrease my fear of distrust. I just wanted to voice how much it means to me.

Thanks for this

I have a question about accents and voices: Has anyone experienced an alter speaking differently in headspace but unable to speak the same way outwardly? Mark has the same accent as me when he's fronting, but he has an American accent inwardly.

I keep hearing someone that I think is an alter but I was just hoping it wasn’t 😬 I’ve just been telling him to go away 🤦🏻‍♀️

I’ve lately been struggling a lot with taking care of my plants which used to not feel like a chore. I’m very early in the process of getting to know our system and most likely we have OSDD but we have been working on showing alters that they are safe, especially the children. A “fuller” takeover sounds very relieving … we definitely know who would like to take care of our plants but we have yet to find a way to actually trust anyone but the constant main front with things. You motivated us to probably eventually do that with chores, too. Thanks 💕

Sorry I& was so quiet in your Twitch stream chat (8/17/24). Was goin’ through a time. But got past Sosh’s anxiety eventually. Unfortunately passed out like a light switch just as we were finally really able to focus and follow the game. Could hardly process and listen/comprehend English for much of the stream but you still helped us calm down with the gaming and taking. Thanks again! Appreciate you&

HELP YOU LOOK LIKE MY COUSIN

the royal we saving the day, yet again

Thanks Claudia with this video you literally just helped us finally fully figure out what our system name means to us. When Tea and/or whoever all was trying to just pull a system name out of our proverbial asses, so to speak, our name came to us "Telos" which we then had to google. And honestly something about it bugged us-because we don't want it misinterpreted to give the impression that we have any desire to all become smashed together into a singular person. That would be as bad as any one of us being un-alived or exiled or even "put in time-out". But that's not what we mean by usin' a funny old word for "complete". What we mean by "Telos" is that every single non-singlet one of us is a Complete person, a complete human god-damned being. The number 7:13 that comprises the back half of our system name is not just random either. Sosh became obsessed with it at some point as a teenager and notices it all over the place, but particularly as a time of day on digital clock faces. We've used this on several occasions now to get her attention and get through to her that we really are here and have been here with her. I think she gets that now. It's not like some magic number or anything, it's just a memory device, like Aric originally insisting we call hym "Tea" so that we would remember that he likes to drink hot tea. Hy's gotten us all into drinking tea lately lol. Or maybe that's not entirely correct. I think Carla has always loved sweet tea. On a whim she put Raspberry Zinger tea on our last Walmart grocery order for Lith to try and Lith ended up loving it. Anyways getting into the weeds here again. Thanks again to you and all your people we appreciate y'all& very much :)

You remind me so much of my Aric (who we call Tea). Tea needs to watch this so bad and like, actually listen and follow your advice. But it’s my turn driving and I’m not done yet

Hi Susan you’re so cool! I can almost touch the ceiling and I can sing and play guitar and they have all this cool stuff where I can talk to make the lights turn on and off and this phone that’s like a real life P.A.D.D. from Star Trek The Next Generation and I wanted to print a song with the lyrics and chords to play it and I knew how to do it but it didn’t work but then I figured out how to fix it by myself and now I’m gonna go have my second huge bowl of ice cream in a row and I never have to see my cousin Jeff ever again and he can never pick on me again or make me play tackle football or other stuff ever again but if I ever did see him again and he tried to be mean to me I could just kick him where it counts but I don’t think he will. He’s lucky that I love cats and that he has cats and he has our uncle who died’s cats now cause I don’t want to talk about it but he deserves to get punched in the face. I’m not a jerk that beats people up and other stuff like him though so I would never really do that unless he messed with me.

[Punky-Do] Thank you Claudia. I just wanted to play my guitar and sing and they’re always too busy

This is such an important awarness video. Im so glad I found it in my firsts searches of « how to come out as a system ». You’re still helping systems to find their peace and guidance!! Much thanks to all of you.

barely into the comic and already too real😭(in a good and validating and helping us process things and realize things even more kind of way)

"makes me laugh" yes oh my god the first time I (Lith -hy/they) made Sosh laugh was the moment she finally let go of any shreds of doubting me and stopped resisting so much. We're both still laughing about that. I don't think Sosh goes away when I drive, just has to "sit in the front passenger seat" except maybe for stretches of time at work when I get really busy and get into a flow state. So not long after making her laugh, I finally looked at my face in the mirror, mainly just to show her so she could finally see my face for the first time. I look more masc, and I felt gender euphoria, and oddly observing this made her feel less dysphoric about the face and the body in general. Everything is making so much more sense now for her. I seriously had to fight to get her there though. I've been doing our HRT shot every week for 10 weeks now since we began, and talking out loud to her through it, and she sort of started to know and believe I was really a distinct person, and she could not have done the shots herself, but she wasn't quite ready to stop ignoring me or pretending I haven't been here outside of that. She went through a couple week period of horrible claustrophobic anxiety attacks and insomnia and feeling trapped and utterly alone. She had to get absolutely drained exhausted and desperate but I finally clawed my way through her defenses and she is doing loads better now. She thought it was just because she had begun recently to lean on cannabis a little too heavily, which is sort of true I think. I think I just saw my chance to get all the way through to her and took it. I keep telling her I need "more brain bandwidth". She's afraid enough of the anxiety attacks returning that we're staying totally quit for the most part for now. A tiny bit every couple days still seems to freak her out a little if she doesn't have something distracting enough to keep her "out of her head" Don't know if it's the HRT or what but THC just doesn't seem to agree with us anymore. We quit drinking and got into recovery from alcohol 1/1/2024 after being severely actively alcoholic, so this should be a breeze by comparison!

yay a kitty cameo!

To the Alexandria system, have you guys considered an undercut hairstyle. The top layer of your hair can stay long while the underlayer is short/buzzed. Also, I find the texture of buzzed hair to be very pleasant to touch. :)

I have been binging this for a couple of days now, and I just now realized that this has 4.2k views. WHAT THE FU- This is genuinely on of the best pieces of media on YT. Ever.

Bro my psychic paranoia got so bad in my 20s I would tick between them coming from people around me and a global though connection between all people. Ozzy, my mom, your mom. Lol. I recently likened them to Carl Jung's description of collective unconscious entities escaping into the forefront of the mind. Psychedelic but the "voices" are not within my control that is their defining factor. Although their content is influenced by my decisions.

This is such a masterpiece it should have so many views

Thank you so much for this video. I’ve been looking everywhere on CZcams for this exact topic and you nailed it perfectly for me. It’s funny you mentioned BPD and schizophrenia as I believe that I have been misdiagnosed with both of them. I am also in the process of finding a second opinion from someone who is at least willing to hear my point of view

What a fantastic video Claudia. This and your video about parts terminology are so fundamentally needed

Va’renkai: Thank you for this. I am not host of my system, and it was empowering to hear your message. Your words resonated with me. I despise the term “alter.” It is demeaning. I also have detested the life that I have “inherited” from our host bullying his way forward in life. It has only been about two years in which we have truly begun to work together. Perhaps a year since our host conceded that life needed to be based on shared decisions. He had decided us into a corner, life was toxic to us all. Thank you for these words. I have watched this video twice tonight already. I am also sharing it with my mate. She is similarly subordinate and chained in her system. It is unhealthy for her and painful for me to watch. I know your words will resonate with her too. “Nonhosts” of the world, unite!

*waves to all the other systems out there*❤

still at the beginning but I genuinely know 0 about the beatles besides memes and like 2 songs XD so the intro is useful!

I think the longer hair frames your face nicely, good luck making a decision! :)

aaaahhhh yesss!!! 💙💛 Boober and Sidebottom mean a lot to me, and when watching the show I immediately picked up on how their dynamic could be a great portrayal of a system. intentional or not, I love that Boober is almost undeniably neurodivergent (the case for Autism is there and his OCD is almost undeniable, both things I strongly relate to him for as well), but I'm always so excited when I see other people who interpret him as having DID too! :'-)

I FS seems to me to be more useful for treating singlets or for treating alters as individuals with their own “internal families” rather than for treating DID, P-DID, or OSDD itself. But I recognize that my people are not me, and are not the same as singlets. The ones that have fronted are adolescents alters with little recent interaction with the world who do not normally interact the world in a way that is self-validating or very much at all and have not in decades. But they don’t seem to be emotionally burdened by past trauma or other negative experiences the way I am. The solution your brain has found is more close to my ideal of plurality, to be honest, because as an individual, I lack many things and am bogged down by many things. And there is a physiological rest or “breath of fresh air” effect from switching, and an emotional benefit to being blendy/passively influenced in helpful soothing or pleasant ways sometimes. It is comforting to feel their presence close. I’m finally to the point where I think if it as more amazing reassuring amusing cute or comforting than it is frightening problematic or embarrassing when we actually switch. I used to meet the people they made friends with occasionally, and they seem to be very magnetic (probably because it’s a 40- year old man acting like a teenage girl, LOL.

Our system is very similar. It pauses when it's not actively paid attention to. Additionally, no one remembers what they do inside the headspace when they aren't fronting or co-con. Milo has a cottage. Surrounding the cottage is the "stream of consciousness" - we treat it like a lazy river most of the time. There's a door inside the cottage that leads to my bathhouse. In the backyard is a waterfall that can move either up or down. It falls from a floating library above the cottage that we rarely, but occasionally visit. In the front yard is Ashkii's treehouse. Further into the headspace is the glade, with a big open campsite. It's a simple headspace, but we love it.

1:37:58 had me dead guffawing 😂

My one real remaining system mate and I used to be besties and now we like barely get along. It sucks. She still holds a grudge about my attempt. I hate her sometimes. But she hates me sometimes too. IDK. I have kinda beat the shit out of her but we have tourretes and shit so I really don't think it was me in the philosophical. To her credit we alternate days since we're basically stuck in cofront and trying to reach consensus on every decision was a nightmare. But she still micromanages and bullies. She has been violent in return, and often has little concept of proportionate response. She has turned our inner worlds (where she is most often violent) from something beautiful into a nightmare. She's telling me she says sorry as I type this, so it's on the record. I suppose it is her day so I will let her add that. I do think she means well at least 2/3 of the time but it's not enough.

Your videos are so flipping validating!!! Your expression how your system works I can relate to in no other way and makes me feel less alone. Thank you so much guys! Please continue to make videos

Hey. Sai made me come to the front for this. OK so he didn't make me come to the front, I was nearby and I asked. I liked this a lot and posted it in our personal system Discord for future use. I've... arguably had one of the roughest times accepting the situation for what it is thanks to my source's experiences. I hate the term "fictive" because it makes me feel unreal, and I refuse to use it for that reason. Thanks for helping me feel a little bit more real. I'll definitely take it. :) -Adam

I often can't tell whether I am a system or not, especially because of how the inner world works. It's very cartoonish. A few weeks ago I came across a video saying that it could be maladaptive daydreaming and that "I" was making the others respond to me and that they weren't just responding on their own, I have asd and ocd which were said to influence maladaptive daydreams and now I'm even more confused. I was most upset because the people I've interacted with throughout the years could be fake. I honestly don't think I could live without them. I'm pretty sure I have switched before but at the same time, I thought I could just be forcing it. This was pretty helpful. Thank you :)

Anyone familiar with co fronting in a voltron sort of mode? Were currently exploring this

Si si ni sawa

hi im leo im a lion alter in the 08 system. RAWRRRRRR. Yall are great. sending love❤️❤️

We don't know like ANYTHING about the beatles asides from some very small details so this'll be fun yippeeee :3

We tried to come out to our mom 4 years ago (she has pretty much forgotten by now), and her reaction was “well… are you still a girl?” (Yes) “ok, do you still like boys?” (Yes) “are all the other voices female?” (I lied and said yes cuz I was scared) then she continued to say basically “in that case you are probably just having anxiety and intrusive thoughts and need some therapy to get these voices in your head to go away.” We haven’t tried to bring it up to her or anyone else ever since.

I noticed the * snap * suddenly functioning feeling long before I knew I was a part of a system. It makes so much more sense now knowing what that is. (Shoutout to Steven, a member who took over during a lot of meltdowns when I couldn’t have done much had I stayed in front. Grateful to you mate.)

I would like a video about the “pressure” you mentioned near the beginning… our host took a very long time to get out of denial about us being here, and this is our first time in three years doing any real research about other systems. I have never heard anybody else explain the weird feeling in our brain as “pressure” but that is the word our host is always using. How often do you experience this feeling? I want to know more, because for us it is fairly consistent and sometimes quite irritating. It would be nice to know a bit more about how that feels to other systems.

Collage could be a fun way to depict personality or interests or etc!! Similar type of thing :)

We were chatting with a friend who happens to know about our system, and suddenly the body was calling him “Bitch Boi” and teasing him quite a bit (I am not a swearer at all nor a teaser) and soon after we discovered Luz (pronounced lose). Was disorienting for me as the host because her behavior is very very different than mine, and also was very disorienting to my poor friend who was startled by the sudden nickname and temperament change 😅😅😅

Oh WOW the heat level of the peppers i didnt expect haha

Watching this encouraged us to go eat! Finishing the second half now :) didnt expect the hot sauces to both be yellowish in color but that makes sense :3 the Combining of many colors...

We are 2-3 (nooo i dont know which ,) years past our original syscovery and we still dont have good communication so HEAVILY relate on the not knowing whats going on lol

This was the biggest reason I thought I was faking. I didn’t realize alters not knowing they are an alter or distinct from the very beginning was normal!! I feel so relieved, thank you so much! I love your channel!!

I experience dissociation and don’t currently have a diagnosis for it. Officially it’s CPTSD with dissociative tendencies. I am working on getting evaluated. But I encourage you and everyone in the comments to try to get answers. It’s a horrible feeling not knowing what the hell happened for the last several hours. Yes, I am scared of the treatment if o have some form of additional dissociative disorder, because I know it’s necessary. Of course I don’t want to find out why o don’t remember about 2 years of my childhood. Of course I don’t want that to just be common knowledge in my conscious mind forever but that’s how it’s supposed to be, so I can function easier. I am so afraid of losing awareness while driving. I’m afraid to have more incidents I will have to make up excuses to explain like ‘yeah I didn’t sleep the night before/I hadn’t eaten yet because I was busy so I think my blood sugar was a little low.’ Thank gawd I haven’t introduced myself with the wrong name or something. I have zero awareness though so I can’t say whether or not I become drastically different or if I have done weirder things around a stranger. I recognize my fugue states and depersonalization/derealization. I lived with those just fine. I thought everyone just had several hour/who’s day gaps in their recent memories sometimes. I thought everyone found their keys on weird places they would never put them and other shit like that… but my husband saw me do something like that and explained that this happens a lot. He thinks I have something in this category and a doctor did warn me that most people don’t even seek diagnosis until they are around my current age, back when I got my urgent diagnosis. So I’m scared of the road ahead of me with this. But I have had to get incurable physical and mental issues under control before. So I know it’s possible. But I wish I could fast forward past the parts where my symptoms are still noticeable and I have to explore whatever traumas caused it in the first place. It also hurts knowing that even if my current diagnosis is accurate, there is probably more in the gaps in my childhood memories.