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It should be called: True survivors of cluster B abusers..For a adult think they can bond with others dna is insane "egotistical" driven. It should be illegal for people to adapt...it is human trafficking in covert ways.

I was adopted 1980 Georgia an I think an adult adoption has transpired with relinquishment to bilogical mom who i wish I never met ...

Have you ever heard of a suicide "selfie"? That is what my brother left instead of a note.

One issue is that so much effort goes into prevention by mechanically stopping attempt opportunity but very little on actually treating the issues that are triggering the SI in the first place.😢

So 👍 true

💃 promo sm

Osha's whistleblower program is useless.

I am retired and suddenly I experience lots of negative thoughts on a daily basis. It's like a train going through my head with all the negative stuff that happened in my live.

The world is overpopulated.

In my experience of decades of excruciating pain I see that those with suicidal ideation are completely ignored (by virtue of not being able to find a psychiatrist because they don't take new patients and insurance does not cover good psychiatrists). I have always wondered: if I was actually about to kill myself, would a mental health professional miraculously be available BEFORE I actually jump off a bridge. We can send men into space, but we cannot be there for those in enough pain to want to disappear.

Mike Hazard is a good man. He cares about people and he understands what veterans are going through. His military background is pretty intense as well.

Please stop saying committed suicide it’s not a crime.! Died by suicide./Depression.

Not sure how this works for lost children 😢 i have been doing most of what she talked about but that only makes the sadness worse for me , it simply reminds me of how much i miss my son 😢

Divorce is horrendous for men. We can't survive with the new tax laws.

I have not heard from anyone from United Survivors. I was needing to know how are you helping people of color deal with Caucasian white American hatred when it comes to prevention of sucide. I hope Caucasian white Americans mental health professionals are changing the way they treat people if color better. This country is not doing a good job with this topic.😅😢😂

Notes for myself 34:30 Factors that predict future suicide in the next 4 years. Internal entrapment and mental pain. Burdensomeness. 36:35 How do we assess entrapment. Questions to ask. 37:30 4 questions. 38:30 Role of loneliness. 42:25 Who might make the transition from thoughts to attempt. Volitional phase, model. 8 factors. 43:50 Data to support the volitional phase factors. 46:00 Cortisol, stress… 46:50 Childhood trauma vs suicidal thinking. 48:15 Daily stress vs suicidal thinking.

I’ve really struggled since I was young. This kinda thing *never* occurred to me until I read The Primal Wound. It felt like I was looking in the mirror for the first time.

This topic is sooo important. There's a mindfulness guide called 30 Days to Overcome Suicidal Thoughts by Harper Daniels that is interesting, helps destigmatize the thoughts. Removing the shame helps a lot.

I'm a clinicial Social Worker and this video was very helpful.

Caucasian white Americans still don't want to understand how their racism towards people of color affects people of color to induce them to commit suicide. Suicide should never be view as weak or selfish. It is a human being needing love and support and to be listened to. It is brave for them to ask for help and tough for them to reach out. Give love and understanding to people who are struggling with suicide always.❤❤😉😊😁🤗 I loved this podcast.

I agree that culture is important when it comes to dealing with suicide.😅😢😂

I am mixed race. I have black,Irish,Scottish,Portuguese,Venezuelan and Indian from India. I was born in Jamaica. I was raised British and West Indies. I have tried to commit suicide many times not only because of being abused as a child but because of Caucasian white American hatred.😅😢😂

At the 42:18 mark, what you said about not trusting anyone and how this shapes relationships is so true. Thank you for this video and grateful that you have all come out the other side. Glad I found this video ❤️

I have always felt "something" is wrong with me. I haven't been able to put my finger on "what" that something is. It's a blank space is how I have described it before, there isn't a word or a feeling or a thought associated with it, its just there. I filled it with food when I was young, with sex and drugs after I left from home and was on my own . At times in my middle age I have tried to starve it, by making food the enemy water and anything to nourish it. Entering into agreements that i knew would be so very punishing, I was front and center. None the less, not one of these attempts to waterboard it to surface had worked and still today, the blank space, I still carry around and Im tired. ❤️

Holy schnitzel Ursula .... I know you you.! This is Brooke. We met at UW in 2001 in A Marsha L. borderline study. You were the best.! ♡♡♡ Not sure if you recall .... but I was adopted too.

I am a psych registered nurse and I seen a lot of adults that were foster, adoptees or had one one the parents erased from their childhood with Suicide Ideation. Many of them became homeless and not only that they also have a drug addiction

I have been feeling ridiculously depressed these last few days and have not been able to cry. This video put me in tears multiple times. You are the first person I've come across that seems to understand what I've been dealing with my entire life 😢. I too had a similar ADHD diagnosis when i was very little. Educational problems as well.

Born 3 months premature weighing 2lbs., condition :poor & developmentally delayed due to my prematurity & given up at birth.Placed in a PA. ,Childrens ,Youth foster home for 2 years .Adopted at 2 years old & lived in PA., for a few years and the family moved to Oklahoma city where by social history summary the adoptive father rejected me because he percieved me as being slow & the family was not able to accept this problem so they had there parental right s relinquished.The allegheny county dept. of human services said i have subtle learning disabilities due to my prematurity.Placed 4 more times and at age 8 years old was adopted again in 1973.Had strict parents who used 2x4s,water hose ,coon dog strap,hammer once,what ever was handy whipped what ever was handy every 3 days whether i needed it or not .Relatives knew about and did nothing. At age 17 years old was watching a 2 car drag race standing on the finish line when one of the cars racing lost control doing over a 100 mph losing control leaving the roadway strinking me on my left side shattering my left hip & femur and pulled me under the car where i stayed until the car came to a stop and caught fire .The 2 guys next to me ,one went over the car and the other of the front windshield .No one found me for hours when the wrecker driver was about to tow the car I was found wrapped around the rear axle and had to be cut out to be removed .Has a closed head injury ,shattered left hip & femur,internal bleeding,perm. dis-placed coccyx,dis-located left arm,coma ,2 hospitals with my stay in the second hospital for months and eventually learned how to walk again. With this hardware in hip and femur my military career was over before age 18 years old . But my parents made sure i knew that someday i would have their home ,so i always knew through my messed up life lucky to be alive and even being able to walk again.Now since 2008 when my mother passed away my niece and oklahoma city police captain had my 86 years old mother sign a trust taking everything and dis-inheriting me .Now 58 years old and the state of Oklahoma says im not disabled but finally got on SSI for bi-polar.Suicide yeah i have tried several times years ago .But im ready to die now because my niece took everything that was supposed to come to me and in the power of attorney this year just proof read it and mom authorizes the niece to make gifts of her property and to create a special needs trust .Going on 15 years and no special needs trust was ever created and nieces cop husband sold my veteran parents homestead acreage and there is nothingi can do about it .SSI only covers my rent and bills..

“no one studies the suicide/adoption nexus but we know it’s real.” hmmm 🤔

When you have lived a life of traumas stacked upon each other, the depth of the pain and grief is so immense and overwhelming. I always know it’s there, but it’s been buried and guarded and to look at me you would never know. How can one person suffer so many traumas knowing if they let some of the grief out they would be overcome and pulled into a downward spiral they can’t recover from? Who can stop that? A therapist can’t stop the pain, there’s no “fixing” it, and so you’re left to deal with it on your own. How do you do that? You’re constantly pulling your head out of the water to take a breath and being pulled back down again. Feeling helpless/hopeless is an in-the-moment realization that nothing and no one can save you from this pain. When people in the psychiatric field who were supposed to be “helping” you ignore you, physically assault you, threaten you, taunt/laugh/make fun of you …… and it’s happened enough times that you will never step foot in another place for “that kind” of help. Tell me then, WHERE is “help?” Last year was a huge turning point for me in how I viewed family members who I thought would never hurt me. It was a pain inside like I had never known. I felt like my soul had been ripped out. I KNEW I would not go on. I made plans. I contacted a lawyer for a living will. I boxed things up to give away. I JUST wanted to BE with God & Angels bc to ME, it was the ONLY safe place I could be whew NO ONE could hurt me EVER again. I planned on hanging myself. But then … I got a Rx and saved enough to OD. I didn’t wake up for 3 days. No one knew until long after what I did. I felt so detached from everything and everyone in the world like I was already dead. When that OD didn’t work, I had to wait for the next refill but asked for more doses/day and I got them. I overdosed 2-3 more times. 2 of them were within a wk of each other. And finally, I reached a point where I was on the verge of taking 200 since what I had been taking wasn’t working. God KNEW and things happened that turned it all around but it wasn’t a hospital or a therapist. But I’ve never been the same since. I STILL feel like I don’t belong on this earth every day. And …. Another serious traumatic event happened again recently and similar but much worse than the one from last year. I pray to God a lot. I can tell Him all that I’m feeling and thinking without worrying I’ll be locked up in a hospital being traumatized all over again. I won’t call a suicide hotline, I won’t talk to anyone about it bc I know …. I know better than anyone that there’s not a single therapist on this Earth who could tolerate the tsunami of grief inside. Except Janina Fisher. But I have no chance of meeting/working with her …. She gave me answers when I didn’t understand why I felt the way I did. I don’t have a diagnosis of DID, but “parts work” made sense to me. I’ve always felt there were so many parts “competing” for my “attention” inside. They were all so overwhelming I couldn’t handle any of them. To acknowledge them was to acknowledge the trauma, and if I did that I knew I couldn’t handle it on my own so I have always had to bury it. I know I don’t belong here. Still feel detached from people and the world. Anxiety and fear are severe even with medicine.

@Dr Sally, this is AWESOME!! Congrats to all the people in NY that stepped up for their people!

I was adopted at 3 months old in Jamaica West Indies. I am mixed race. Before i was adopted i was not held and cuddled as a baby so i did not get the bonding as a baby that i should have received. I tried to commit suicide many times first at 7 years old. I was physically,sexually,mentally and spiritually abused by my adopted parents.

As mental health experts say, we need to emphasize that someone did not “commit suicide”, it’s not a crime that they committed. They “died “ by suicide. The language has to change first. ❤️

Prevention is one thing. Reasons to go on are another. Ppl want a life that is not premised on managing themselves, coping with their lives. Ppl want a life where they thrive, if this cant emerge then we are sustaining, supporting and complicit in someones pain and torture, which has its own ethical issues.

Hope u r fine... Plz don't give up.. Just talk to someone.. Don't be alone plz be around people.. Plz... Life is precious.. U r precious

Is there a choir in California for people like us who lost our kids to suicide. My husband and I love to sing and thought about creating a choirs for survivors. Please let me know if you are aware of a choir like this. Thank you. Melanie

Dear Sally. I am also 34 years old. The same age as your brother. And I am also seriously considering suicide. However unlike your brother who had everything. The pandemic closed my business. I have no children. And the one person I loved for 7 years left me for someone else. Just 2 months ago. I am 34 but have nothing to look forward to for the remaining half of my life. Im literally days away from taking my life. Your talk helped calm me down, soothe some of my pain. Your effort has reached out to me in my moment of terrible confusion.

You don't get over Suicide, my Mamma comitted Suicide on 10/21/1987. It hurts today as much today as it did the day she died.

I ve tried so many times. I dont believe it will get better. I finally understood why. I am broken. I think that for a lot of us, it is just a matter of time. As a " community", adptees should help themselves to go without pain and with some decency( unlike my birth). It is something I often think about: I was born alone, abandonned at birth then put in some public nursery. I will die alone too, buried with no funeral, into a public pit. At least I am not asking "why me?" anymore, I dont care. I should not be born at the first place. Life was/is so painfull and hopeless, I feel relieved to leave it behind me as soon as I can. Also NOT EVERYONE has someone that "loves you". I have no one. Edit: I was very dark. My bad. It comes and goes. I hope I ll find a way to enjoy myself a little bit more instead of whinning on youtube.

My wife had Bi-Polar and took her own life in 1998... the loss I felt was real, but with three young children (3, 4 and 6 at the time) I never had the chance to grieve properly... I just became a fulltime single father - 24/7/365... this turning up on my timeline is interesting now, 25 years later... I realise how I could have kept the memory alive better... I have been through a lot since then, but still remember the details vividly...

I Salute all of these champions and thank them for showing others the way through depression and suicidal ideation 👏👏👏👍👌

So sorry for everyone's loss. Prayers sent 🙏

Thankyou for sharing, i want to say you are so brave to do what you do, but its not that, its compassion in the hope it helps others who are suffering like you are, my daughter died one month ago to a massive bleed on her brain, she was so healthy and the shock is enormous i still cannot fully grasp it, i hurt so bad xxx

I love that I found this group. I am an Adoptive mother. My son is 33 years old, he has expressed suicidal thoughts since he’s 10 years old, as far as I knew. Are you all aware of Dr. Gabor Mate? He does have a deep knowledge of the trauma of the adopted child & how addiction & suicide ideation & action come together. My son is suffering in his addiction to alcohol & drugs. I’d like my deeper knowledge of this issue to be able to guide my son to also “not want to die!” Thank you, you lovely people!

I’m sorry for your loss. I’m not sure how or what his is on my timeline. Who passed that I know? I’m out of the loop?!

I loss my mentor JV due to Lyme diesee via suicide and he was the one who mentor me into doing my own podcast. I'm still sad about my loss but will still podcast in his honor even though it hurts.

This was a great discussion thank you for having - fellow adoptee

👍👍

Appreciate your video ... my beautiful brother committed suicide 3 weeks ago on December 28th by using a handgun ... me and my other brother are absolutely devastated as are other family & friends. For me, the 'whys' occupy my thinking right now, with few answers to explain his decision. He did leave a few suicide notes but those offer little information since his writing was fractured and somewhat confusing, a reflection of his state of mind .... the sadness will never leave me, the knowing that life was just so hard for him, and that he must've been exhausted trying to act *normal* and happy when he was hurting inside. If only I could have told him how much he was loved maybe that would've saved him but a part of me knows better. He didn't want to live anymore. He was 65. After our Dad died he became very depressed and used to call me and my other brother in the middle of the night saying that he wanted to kill himself -- that was over 20 years ago. He was in and out of rehab, and his last trip to rehab seemed to help. He seemed to be much better over the past 10 years, but he only became better at acting ... at least I *think* this is what was going on. That's the thing, I don't know, I can only speculate. My analytical mind needs to think this through and speculation is all I have. And did my brother have a mental illness? Well, maybe. Probably. I think he may have suffered from borderline personality disorder, but he's never been diagnosed that I'm aware. And I know that understanding the 'whys' will not bring my brother back but I think it helps soothe my soul to consider the whys ... gives my mind something to do while processing my grief. I don't know, perhaps it's my own ritual as I ask my brother *why* he left us ... I talk to him. And he answered me in a dream a week after he left us. He came to me in a dream, a very vivid dream, and offered me the warmest smile I have ever seen. The dream was so shocking and real and comforting. I had asked him to please show me if he was ok because I've always needed to know if he was ok .... and the dream served to comfort me that he was ok. Now, I must take care of myself and navigate these emotions and learn to accept that he's in a different realm now. I believe he's at peace, but finding that for myself is a greater challenge ....

I've known three adoptees, all male, who've died by suicide. One was like a brother to me, and it happened when he was 15.