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When it comes to this problem, you have but two choices: 1) Leave the betrayer and start a new life, or 2) Live with a constant feeling of rage and resentment for the rest of your life - not for X years, but until the day you die and are finally released from your suffering. No matter what they say or how they change, you will always be haunted by the betrayal. Whether front or back of mind, it will always be there. Other than moments when you are deeply engrossed in an activity that fully occupies your attention, you will be aware of the betrayal. No amount of confessions or therapy is ever going to change that. The relationship you thought you had is over, and you cannot start a new relationship with this person. Accept that and move on, or accept a life of living hell. That's the truth. What are any of us doing here thinking otherwise? Fear is what's keeping us trapped, not love. We are not still in the relationship because of love - that love died immediately upon discovery of the betrayal. We are here because we are afraid to leave and start a new life. We've suffered enough. Let's move on and end the suffering. Yes, it will be hard at first. We might even have panic attacks. 😱 My goodness. But we'll get used to it and it will get easier in time. And eventually, we will find peace. What is certain is that we will not find peace by staying with someone who betrayed us in the worst possible way.

I couldn't talk to him he never took accountability he blames me and alcohol for years before it happened I hate him now

He looks so happy and even more confident when Tammy is around. It’s lovely to watch. They definitely complete each other.

This is profoundly deep! It'll take true humility and introspection for two individuals to mature, grow, heal, and reestablish trust and a bond to cultivate a deeply meaningful marriage. 🙏

I forgave my ex-husband for cheating but couldn’t love him again .

🙏🏻 We all thank Dr. Peterson.

I’m going through it. Found out someone I behold the last 4 years with cheated on me. Emotionally spiraling . Some days are better then others. Today isn’t one of those days.

Me. Jordan Peterson, that was a magnificent exposition of betrayal!!!! How deep can these feelings be!

... "I'm just laying down the potential landscape" How profound!

Anybody know the name of the full interview video???

@he_never_quits where I can finde the hole speech?

Honestly I can deal with the Infidelity it’s simply human nature. However it’s the Betrayal of who they cheated with that can be Unforgivable.

Yubice volim te i dalje najviše na svetu i posle svega, molim te promeni se i zaboravi na njega, ja te više volim od njega i izaberi mene umesto njega i zavolečeš i ti mene opet kao pre i zavolečeš mene opet više nego što si zaljubljena u njega..... Možemo ti i ja da ovo izvedemo sigurno, samo veruj u nas malo više i budi iskrena prema meni

I had a house fire while my ex gf was cheating on a girls night out, saw the house fire went back out to the same hotel that night. Went one for 2/3 weeks drinking & drugging not coming home her dad passed away & now our house burnt down. I said all the right things but at the wrong time. I had to leave because it was too much the betrayal. & now it’s been 2 years & she has a new kid, & relationship & I’m ok with that but a little resentful, & it’s because it was very public. The only validation really was her posting of her having alcohol/drug addiction & going to rehab. Lots of grieve phase

Were can I find the whole talk? Thanks

Trash is benath trash

Trash that cheats is beneath itself

Oh man this is spot on (I know from experience )

We are not animals.

Wow. What an amazing talk and to throw so much light on many related aspects too. Bravo JP 👏 👏

My husband emotionally abused me with neglect because of cultural differences. I was treated like a cook, a maid, and I was told who to talk to. I had an emotional affair, and he used it to abuse me more except with Christianity as a vehicle for it. I was the one who tried for 1.5 years to keep the marriage together. And he kept saying that he loved me but also threatened divorce many times. Never assume a relationship is one-sided. Sometimes there’s a whole other side you don’t know about.

Does he mean like when his married daughter went to Romania to hook up with Andrew Tate?

I agree with a lot of what Dr Peterson is saying. I disagree with him on. There are people out here that have solid morals,we have self control and respect not only for ourselves but the one's that we Love. That we would never commit adultery. My wife of over 30 year's is committing adultery. It is the most painful, heart breaking, situation to deal with.

Om Nithyananda Paramashivoham!

Thank you.

Is this whole evenings lecture available ? I’ve seen two parts are there more????

7.05 🎯

'Fundamentally and malevolently unreliable'. THE END.

My situation was I chose a man who went on to have sexual encounters throughout our 34 year marriage with four kids.After I told him I had lost my love for him and I thought I couldn’t get it back I left the marriage and worked on myself to discover why had I been a door mat and been lied to directly to my face.My childhood sexual abuse had programmed into my psyche that I would chose a husband who would be a liar cheater so I could keep giving myself that feeling of abuse in another form.It took a long time to fight the strong desire to go back to him as I knew nothing but that feeling and life of being abused a well worn groove.I’m 63 and now divorced have been on my own since and living in a new town.Now I’m discovering how to live and learning how to have fun which is very difficult thing to learn but I’m happy and I have a powerful force I have discovered called freedom. That is truely more wonderful then all the riches in the world . But to stand by the river and watch the geese flying past with my dog is the best therapy in the world.

The worst situation is when you marry someone who has been betrayed 3 times in 3 different relationships and complains about how bad her partners were, then that person goes on to betray me with the ex that betrayed her.

What was this interview/ fan questions video?? Where can I watch the full thing

I have no clue Why Peterson is so villainized. I have been listening to him for hours and hours and I still fail to see any bad intentions, logic failure or anything else than thoughtful and solid observations.

People are always quick to blame the person who strays but people who are "happy" in their marriage general never stray. So sometimes it's important for the person who gets cheated on to ask themselves the question "why" did their partner stray and then own some of the blame. 9 times out of 10 there is ownership on both sides. Happy people do not stray.

Cut to the point the question I would ask the betrayed husband is, "Does your wife love you?" Second question would be, "And do you want to remain married to someone who clearly doesn't love or care about you?"

Answer: bye.

I was married to a beautiful woman, we both brought childhood trauma into our marriage. There were no drugs, I ran my own company and for the most part we good together. However, I had some trust issues which seemed from primary care givers perpetrating abuse, she had much the same but was diagnosed with BPD. When Jordan speaks it is as if he has just listened to me open up for hours. I assume this reflects his years of clinical work and intuition. He really makes you dig in and get the ugly work done, leaving the inner self nowhere to hide. As uncomfortable as it is, I'm thankful he takes the time to do these talks. Hang in their everyone, it is doable.

This was in Adelaide, I attended the show and it was a Masterpiece... ❤

All of these points is exactly what God walked me through when I discovered my first husband's first affair. I had already done much of the work of unpacking my own deceptions. A couple of years before the affair God told me I could only be deceived the point I was willing to deceive myself in fact I believe it was that I was willing to no longer be decieved that eventually drove him away into the affair. Once the affair happened he begged me not to divorce him and I looked at him and said I'm not going to leave because I'm afraid and I'm not going to stay because I'm afraid I'm going to do what God asked me to do. Several days of praying and God said if I go back I have to go back as if it's the first day I married him with just that much commitment and excitement but knowing what he's capable of this time. It's like I could see myself walking down the aisle for the first time could I be just as excited to move forward tomorrow with this man as I was that day to marry him. I knew that God was releasing me to leave him then in fact he said it was like he was saying he would only hold it against me if I went back to him without the commitment being the same as the first day. 3 years later when he left for the second affair God spoke to me very many intimate things that healed me in ways that allowed me to walk away with my complete dignity intact. Five children nine and under no family in the state in 12 years of marriage. Somehow I had enough Grace to manage the title of a divorced woman without adding shame to myself. It's been a long journey. My second husband was extremely narcissistic abusive. But somehow God covered me every step of the way as well on that one. I stay committed I did everything I could until I found out he was beginning to act inappropriately with one of my daughters. 6 years married and now divorcing single mom of now seven children and still believing I'm more whole more strong and more to offer anyone than I ever have. God does have to take us all the way through the Journey and the way Dr Peterson describes this as exactly how he has done this holding my hand. He told me a long time ago if it was one lie that caused one hurt and one human heart it would still take the blood sacrifice of Christ to fix it. Each and every lie and each and every hurt is very important to our Heavenly Father we must give each one to him as if it was the only one that caused a son to die. Blessings to those who read this our life is better vapor and he is our soon coming King.

So who would stop me🧚🏻‍♂️for doing something like that?🤗☯️💒🌏🗽Other religions maybe😉✌️or just nasty😡people🙄

I was just getting my life started again after being depressed about this world & my life. Then I started getting attacked about my new ways which is God led. I will take them for everything for that, & god will help me. Then I will build a new place of love & peace for all.

How is leaving someone get you a friend?

"Promosm" 😉

I don't know if it's healthy to keep viewing infidelities as "a HUGE act of terrible BETRAYAL"... It's just too much, because statistics show 95% of people cheat at some point. Jordan Peterson is basically saying it's your fault someome cheated on you, cause only terrible people do so.... The ONE question to beggin with would have been: "what is an affair? What happened? Has it ended? What did you look for in your affair??"

Betrayal is the kiss of death in any relationship. It’s ok to lose your partner, but never, ever lose your dignity and self respect.

Regarding rage being asuaged. One of the most powerful ways, outside of and along side of miraculous healing, is the faith and trust in God to deal justly with each of us as our Maker. Nothing excapes the mesh of God. And that gives you peace and rest because that burden is no longer yours.

Thanks so much for posting this video. What I always cherish about your messages is the profound depth of your compassion for your listener and the recognition of the complexity of the inner world. And the power of courage in the face of overwhelming pain as a path forward to life with integrity.

"my wife had an affair" "Well I don't know anything about you, so I won't assume exactly how that could be 100% your wifes fault."

Yes. The World Economic Forum made that video and they mean what they say. Not good!

Adelaide :)

This deeply feels propogandic