![Zebra Not Horse](/img/default-banner.jpg)
- 33
- 3 013
Zebra Not Horse
United Kingdom
Registrace 10. 09. 2023
Welcome to my CZcams channel, I'm EmJ, and like many, I was diagnosed with autism in adulthood. My journey of self-discovery and understanding has led me to create this channel. I believe that being autistic is not a limitation but a beautiful and diverse way of experiencing the world. I hope I can empower other to feel the same.
The Zebra Analogy -
"There is comfort in knowing that you are a normal zebra, not a strange horse. Because you can’t find a community of other zebras, can’t learn what makes a zebra thrive, what brings [you] a zebra joy, if you don’t know you are a zebra and you are learning solely from horses. It is near impossible to be happy and mentally healthy if you’re spending all your life thinking you’re a failed horse, having others tell you you're a failed horse, when all along you could be thriving and understood if everyone, including you, just knew you were a zebra."
The Zebra Analogy -
"There is comfort in knowing that you are a normal zebra, not a strange horse. Because you can’t find a community of other zebras, can’t learn what makes a zebra thrive, what brings [you] a zebra joy, if you don’t know you are a zebra and you are learning solely from horses. It is near impossible to be happy and mentally healthy if you’re spending all your life thinking you’re a failed horse, having others tell you you're a failed horse, when all along you could be thriving and understood if everyone, including you, just knew you were a zebra."
3 ways to feel safe / ASD
Being safe isn't the same as feeling safe. In this episode I talk about what the difference is for me as an autistic person. I'm pretty much always safe but rarely feel safe.
zhlédnutí: 72
Video
A year since my Autism diagnosis
zhlédnutí 38Před 2 měsíci
What have I learned about myself since receiving an autism diagnosis a year ago? In this episode I talk about a few things that have come to light in my life as my awareness of my neurodivergent brain increases.
An Autistics view on ABA Therapy
zhlédnutí 37Před 3 měsíci
In this episode I share my perspective on ABA (Applied Behaviour Analysis) Therapy. With a deep rooted conviction against the conventional methods employed in ABA, I express my dissent and hopefully shed light on the reasons behind my stance. I aim to challenge the status quo and spark a meaningful discussion on the topic. If you have more information on this topic please reach out and educate ...
Review on Astrid | Social bloopers | Special Interests
zhlédnutí 14Před 4 měsíci
A review on the latest show I'm watching. Some reflection on conversations I've had decently where I don't say the right thing. When you meet someone and can instantly talk about each others special interests.
Unprepared social game
zhlédnutí 18Před 4 měsíci
Understanding social cues and what is appropriate to say can be difficult if we are in a situation without a script. I live my life by scripts. But being so rigid isn't always possible. Sometime opportunities present themselves with no tools and we have to navigate through conversations and have no idea how things are landing and then beat ourselves up for ages wondering why we allowed whatever...
An Autistics experience of going to the GP
zhlédnutí 17Před 5 měsíci
As an autistic person it can be hard to know when to seek medical attention. Is our pain or discomfort worth bothering a doctor about? Are we going to be told there is nothing wrong with us? Will we get mis-diagnosed? So many of us don't bother making appointments out of fear of being judged or not know how to properly communicate what feels different to us. In this episode I talk about my expe...
Autistic Traits I don't have
zhlédnutí 42Před 5 měsíci
There are so many traits that are associated with being autistic but that doesn't mean we have to have them all. The spectrum indicates how different we all are and depending on what autistic traits we have will impact our level of support needs. in this video I talk about some traits that can be common in other autistic individuals yet I don't have them. On the other hand I will have specific ...
Friendships and interactions
zhlédnutí 34Před 5 měsíci
Being autistic means our brains are wired differently when it comes to understanding human interaction. In this world there are so many social cues that we autistic individuals just don't get. Making friendships has its own level of difficulties when we basically conduct our lives by following scripts. If these scripts don't fit the situation then it takes our brains to an overload state and we...
Revealing my Autism diagnosis
zhlédnutí 24Před 6 měsíci
In this episode I talk about exposing my diagnosis to friends and family in my life and hopefully help you are the view consider if this is something you want to do too. It's really not a great quality video but I've decided to upload it anyway as it documents part of my journey.
My Autism Diagnosis Journey
zhlédnutí 38Před 6 měsíci
In this episode I share my diagnosis journey. It took years from discovery to diagnosis; however from enquire to report it was actually only 3 months. For me it has been really important to get an official diagnosis as it has given me permission to be kind to myself and have grace for when my brain doesn't understand the neurotypical ways.
Top Female Autistic Traits (Part 2)
zhlédnutí 20Před 7 měsíci
I missed some out of my list that I meant to talk about so here is a part two to my previous video. czcams.com/video/KpAS8QngU4M/video.htmlsi=ZMUf13MGdvwP5b8q Not all autistics have all of these traits, as I mention in this videos, I don't have them all either. There are so many more traits I haven't mentioned. If you would like to add to my list please leave a comment below. Mentioned in this ...
I'm Autistic | Spoons Theory | Nothing special
zhlédnutí 22Před 9 měsíci
I'm Autistic | Spoons Theory | Nothing special
What is sensory sensitivity for an Autistic person?
zhlédnutí 27Před 10 měsíci
What is sensory sensitivity for an Autistic person?
Asperger's Syndrome - Who was Hans Asperger?
zhlédnutí 26Před 10 měsíci
Asperger's Syndrome - Who was Hans Asperger?
That was such an encouragement to me. Thank you for sharing. I’ve been a Christian from my youth, but late diagnosed Autistic. Much like your zebra, I’ve been calling myself a unicorn 🦄, because of how rare I feel. I love who I am, and I thank God for how He made me. I wouldn’t want to be anyone else. And I’m thankful for His friendship all these years when human friendships have been so challenging.
I love this video. Feeling safe and secure is a big deal for our heightened nervous systems.
Yes it's something I kinda only became aware of recently. I think there was a moment when I was feeling really heightened and told someone I didn't feel safe and they brought to my attention all the things around me that did in fact make me safe so I unpicked it and realised actually we neurodivergent types don't always feel it even if that is the logical truth.
40 yr old Christian "neurodivergent" woman here. Not diagnosed, don't need to be. Neurodivergent just meaning, what appears to be the whole of society says you have to be one way, but you are not. Why is it that those who don't fit this fake mold that was decided by a handful of humans, then passed down over centuries, accepted by everyone as "the way we should be" (which changes over time, by the way) are the ones who have something wrong with them? More often than not, it is those who fit in without trying that have something wrong with them. And most are trying very hard, using lots of thought, time and energy trying to fit in, which is telling. Maybe we are not the minority in reality, on the inside .. Just as you said, Jesus is your friend, loves you and accepts you for who you are, gives you grace for everything, etc. So why doesn't the world? Because they are not like Him. God made us all unique. We are not all supposed to be the same. Also, when someone's feelings are hurt, when you didn't mean something to hurt them, they are the ones not understanding YOU. A person being offended or their feelings being hurt means they have an insecurity inside of them. That means THEY are the one who has something to work on (We of course can show them love anyway). You are secure in your relationship with God and most who are easily offended do not in actuality have a good secure relationship with God, no matter how it appears on the outside. It is what's really going on in the heart, mind, subconscious, etc. that counts. People can mask that with behaviors that say otherwise. Just like neurodivergent people sometimes have the ability to look normal on the outside. But it is death on the inside. Death of the true soul to have to hide your true natural way of being. There is nothing wrong with "neurodivergent" people. Rest in God, allow other people to have their feelings. Take responsibility for actual wrong behaviors, not other people's feelings when you didn't actually do anything wrong. Forgive those who don't understand you. Guess what, we don't understand them either! Lol! Don't take life too seriously. Follow your heart and live in His love. God bless you! ❤❤❤
Thank you for commenting. Blessings in you 🫶
I wonder what He really wants for my ASD life. Obviously not being married.
It's hard not knowing our path. I'm constantly asking God what He wants from me. I look back and the times I feel He has used me the most has been when I have had a pure heart to serve Him and not glorify myself or others. So going forward I strive for Holiness, to be in His presence and desire to honour Him with all I do and say. I pray you find alignment with your ASD and journey with Him 🙏
@@zebranothorse-EmJ How can you and I ever chat about this?
Very insightful and honest.
I ask for forgiveness all the time so much because I get so confused and upset and don't know what to do or say 😢
I totally understand and feel the same. I ask so many questions then feel the need to apologise for not understanding the 1st time. It's a habit I want to break, it's not my fault people don't communicate clearly the 1st time. We need more grace for ourselves.
That's a great list you have put together. I can put this knowledge and these tips into practice for myself. Thank you for your video and God bless.
Hello. You kindly spoke to me in the café today. Just to say I have found your channel and am enjoying listening to your experiences. Thank you.
It was lovely to meet you too. Thank you for watching. 🦓
Hey, I have not been diagnosed but I truly believe I am autistic (just learned about the spectrum this year) I'm 22. Everything you said about God is the only reason why I am here today. I asked Him why I even believed I am autistic (of course everyone says i don't look autistic) and I asked why it has been so hard for me to find someone to get assessed by...God told me that even if I received a diagnosis I would still need to TRUST HIM completely anddddd (as if that wasn't enough ) I would need to give myself grace. Realizing so much of my life has been dedicated to me feeling alone and separate from my family and society made me feel the same way about God (unconsciously - our relationship with God is often reflected in how to relate with people ....until I learned that God is always listening, God gives us strength when we are weak, God continuously responds to my prayers and he will never leave me. So now I am learning to pray when anxious with no diagnosis, to move even though I do not have the answer right now. Your video has given me even more faith in the path I know God is taking me. God bless you and thank you for your presence and spirit!
Thank you for commenting. It is so hard to navigate this world and especially hard when we have to do it on our own. I just have no idea how non believers do it all without God. Faith gives us the strength to face every battle BECAUSE we know we're not alone. Keep trusting in Him and giving Him permission to show up in your life.
@@zebranothorse-EmJ Thank you !
EmJ, What I'm hearing is that you have great friends and a loving husband and that you are very much an inspiring person.
I'm glad that your sharing of your autism diagnoses went well for you. It doesn't always go well for everyone who learns they are autistic. Just being yourself is the best thing that you can do for your friends and family and for yourself.
Hi EmJ, I just found your channel and as I was looking over your videos this one really got my attention as I am an autistic Christian as you are. I've listened to your video twice and it is easy to see how God is working in your life. This is a beautiful video. You shared your story using the right words and you said them in the right way and in the right Spirit. God is love at all times and under all circumstances with no exceptions. Thank you for this special video. God bless.
Thank you for your kind comment. I love hearing for people who are connecting with my videos. Bless you.
Thank you. I had a shutdown as my son had a meltdown at church last week and now I am struggling with showing my face there again
That can be hard. Sometimes churches are full of people who expect us to act a certain way, meaning we mask more to fit in. But we should feel like we can be our most authentic self in God's place. I really hope you have courage and able to return. Even if you feel you can't talk to anyone about what happened.
Thank you so much for your vulnerability & your beautiful heart. That was such an encouragement to me. I'm waiting on an assessment in May & have been diagnosed already with ADHD. Life has been a struggle a lot of my 63 years and it's only Jesus that has got me through. God bless you & may your faith remain strong.
Thank you kindly for your comment. I really hope your assesment goes well and it's leads to getting more support in place for you. Blessings.
Thanks for sharing this, MJ. x
When were you professionally diagnosed? I think we're pretty close there! Mine was in Nov. '23.
Yeah I thought so too, I'm end of June '23
We're rewatching The Walking Dead right now! I'm like that too with binge watching - I can get *really* obsessed with good shows and the mini-serieses that have like 4 or 8 episodes doesn't feel like enough.😂
I can't believe you chose to rewatch TWD. I mean you know youv sold your life away right and nothing productive is ever going to happen again 😅 iv thought about it but it literally takes over your life 😩 (I'm laughing to myself right now cos every intense interest takes over our lives 🤦🏼♀️)
@zebranothorse-EmJ lol *I'm* not actually re-watching it, but my husband is. I just tend to parallel play near him while its on
Yes! Anthropology is a special interest of mine. I spent I think 2 years in therapy working on my anxiety, but autism was never brought up. Turns out, anxiety is a huge pillar of my autism - makes so much more sense post-diagnosis!
I love the real you EmJ! Always have and always will ❤ your hair is super cute in this video! Xx
Thank you Em 🥰 love you too!
👍
God bless you 🙏🏾❤❤ . I was led to this video right on time!☺️
How would you encourage an 8 year old autistic boy who regularly insults his siblings when he feels threatened or mistreated (even if he wasn't threatened or mistreated that was just his perception)? Clearly it is sin to call someone stupid and have contempt for another person...but how much of that behavior is sin and how much of it is autism making things confusing and difficult?
There are a few strategies that could be used to encourage him to better handle his emotions and communicate without insulting others. First, it's important to acknowledge his feelings and teach him that it's okay to feel threatened or mistreated, but it's not okay to respond by insulting others. Encourage him to express his feelings in a different way, such as using "I feel" statements or asking for help when he's feeling upset. With regards to the 'sin' element, by focusing on providing him with the tools to support him this will help the behaviours. Consider strategies for calming down when he starts to feel threatened. This could include deep breathing exercises, taking a break in a quiet space, or using a fidget toy to help him refocus his attention. Encouraging empathy and understanding towards his siblings could also be beneficial. Encouraging positive interactions and praise when he communicates without insulting his siblings can also reinforce good behavior. Overall, it's important to be patient and understanding with the 8 year old boy, and to provide consistent support and guidance as he learns to navigate his emotions and interactions with others.
I would pray and put him in more situations where he is around other kids who have high intelligence and level one autism so that he doesn’t feel so strange and ostracized all the time. That would have helped me, looking back. I was a girl though which made masking more natural but if I hadn’t been able to mask I would have been like your boy. Now as an adult raising my own neurodivergent toddler, I find myself unable to mask and for the first time in my whole life I want to insult people for being stupid or judging me, constantly. I don’t but I feel the urge to. I’ve spent my whole life masking so I’m learning to unmask while being sweet and nice and it’s really difficult. But the mask has caused me so much depression and anxiety I need to learn to be more honest with my feelings, but do it in a kind Jesus-like way. And as an AuDHDer it is really rough.
❤
👍
EmJ this is such a brave video to make - thank you, thank you, thank you! This is really going to help non-autistics understand what we go through, and it'll help other autistic people to understand that we are not alone ❤
Thank you for this comment. It's really encouraging to know when we are vulnerable enough to share our stories it can really make a difference to someone else. ❤️
I love this, EmJ! Beautifully summarised. I also really love your zebra / horse analogy 🥰
Thank you so much for being real with us and sharing your experience with a meltdown. It is really eye opening to hear even just a little bit about what an autistic person faces when they experience sensory overload. 😊
❤❤