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Thank you.

❤ I 😂❤❤❤

Ty, I’m just starting this journey.

TY, I needed to hear this.

Why do you look different in every video are you a shapeshifter

thank you 🙏🏾

Namaskaram, I from India your videos are so knowledgeable and Now days people should be aware.... I loved your videos so much 😊 I want your contact or email id to discuss some important things about your CZcams channel...🙏🙏

Thank you, i needed this! Its been so hard to take so much responsability on my back (no wonder they hurt so much), with nobody taking my back, that sometimes i just feel mad... after wen i get far, i can give the others the same empathy i wish i would get from that people, in public services and hospitals...but in the moment sometimes i just get desperate. But they actualy have no idea what we are going through. Tomorrow will be a year since the accident that changed our lifes, im so grateful he survived and is getting so much better than the diagnose, and happy to be able to take care of him and be brave enough to endure this shituation even without financial support, now just need to learn how to take care of me to can continue to do it without loosing my self and my health.

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I was told you are like an employee and taxes are taken out for ssi and the like. I feel like it’s a really good option for some, women included.

Please don’t give up inspiring others! There are so few channels that address this huge part of life!

My mother has been telling all 5 of her children over the years that they are POA, or executor or POA for health and she throws around words like trustee. However, we now know that since my father passed she does not know what these terms mean , she does not know if the documents she has are current and she has told us all something different. I think I am POA according to a possible out dated document. How do I find the most current document? Can I request a copy? I’m thinking she is close to being declared incompetent by a doctor and I need to get prepared or start helping. How can I confidentially help if I don’t know if I’m POA?

I don’t know if I’m a “caregiver” per se, but I do look after my 89-yr old father. He has a few “Senior Moments” now and then, but doesn’t have dementia thankfully (my mother did). He has a negative, complaining side to him, but I always knew that…..some things I have found that have worked to relieve stress after helping him for almost four years: -Take a long, brisk walk in the park or by the creek and breathe fresh air. Feed the ducks. Get your rest (very important). -Take the parent out for breakfast or shopping or a ride up a mountain canyon. Have them interact with other people (no matter how minor). It is not healthy for anyone to be a shut-in. -Watch golf or football (or whatever they are interested in) on TV with them. This can stimulate discussion and make them feel happier. -The first time you see them during the day, ask if they slept well or watered their plants, or got their laundry done, or heard the birds that morning. Don’t ask them “how they are”, as this can lead to negativity. My Dad has bad eyesight and a bad back with no solutions for either. People tend to focus on what is causing them pain in the moment, so I try to avoid those topics. -Occasionally bring up topics from their past that they enjoy. For Dad, it is growing up in the Midwest, his service in the military, or cars he’s owned. -Hopefully this has helped someone out there. No two situations are the same. Caregivers have to carve out time for themselves. I think that is very important.

I was caregiver for 5 years, no one in my family would help, they wouldnt even watch my mom for the day so i could rest, at the end If I Felt way bad at my self because i had thoughts of will this ever end, I still feel bad about those thoughts.but i think the other people that didnt help i think feel way worse.

Thank you!!

long term care insurance should be mandatory and the state should also subsidize...there shouldn't be asset seizure.... they need to make people buy it once they hit 45! its absurd what happens in this country. I also think though sometimes its better to just hospice at home.... if you can do nothing for yourself anymore and are on a breathing machine what kind of life is that?

I want to be a wife. I have been a caregiver to my husband since 2015. My mother also lives with us. She is more independent thank God. My husband and I are in our 60s. I seek help for myself through my local church. I pray for strength and a kind spirit as I juggle so much. God help me!

Sorry Positive thoughts don't cut it when you haven't slept all night cause your demented Parent is wandering the house! I haven't worked, I've hired aides, my sister helps & It still isn't enough! I'm Exhausted......Period.

Doing a great job.Utilising ur life -v helpful tips to people stuck in difficult situations.God's blessing you and guiding u and making His agent.🙏🙏🙏

LTC insurance sounds good in the brochures, but making a claim can be a nightmare. When you need care, assume you're physically and/or cognitively disabled. You may not be able to deal with the insurance company yourself. It took several of us adult children months dealing every day with the insurance company to get them to pay. That was time and mental energy we could have spent with our dying mother.

You would absolutely have to put your ego aside at all times for this one

If somebody don't want to be somebody's caregiver they need to just get on down the road but they need to always keep in mind one day they're going to need a caregiver too Karma comes around and maybe you don't know that you're going to find out too you need to mind your own business

I apologize but i have to disagree with you from a caretakers point of view~! Good for you for stating your opinion though!!!

Great tip! Looking forward to trying the Pomodoro timer technique. I had used this when I was studying for my degree and had a house filled with family and so much to do. I didn't give it a thought how useful this could be when caregiving tasks become too much and no time is scheduled for myself. Thanks Pamela!

We donunderstand but it doeant make it anyneasier to tolerate esoecialky if its a daily issue whrn they are ill.

I'm getting nowhere with facebook Pamela. I got into groups and typed on the name thecaregivingtrap. Facebook instructions are incomprehensible. And, no, I don't have anyone to help me with tech.

Oh my!! I really needed this video thank you so much!! I’m so overwhelmed taking care of my mom.

I found this to be the very best sight for video productions on the practical common sense matters involving elder care. I don't know why more caregivers do not seem to watch them or comment on them. Keep up the good work!

I have a wife with a terminal diagnosis, i am close enough but want to give her one day, is that wrong?

Thank you Pamela!

Can you refer me to a Care Manager in Reno NV?

Thank you for the video! This is going to help a lot of people.

I'm very grateful for these videos, I found them today when "trying to break the sealing"! Thank you so much I chose to be a caregiver for my partner of 8 years, 23 years older than me, who became quadriplegic after a fall. In addition to this brutal change, we had to change where we lived, and the way we lived, and I have felt quite alone in this process. His family (5 siblings all older than 50 and 2 adult children) lives in their country of origin and from the beginning I kept them informed and asked for help, but nothing could prepare me for the expenses of 9 months of hospitalization, first 1 hour away, then to 2h for half a year, and I tried to be present almost every day, except for the last 2 months, when I had to make the necessary adaptations to welcome him home. The monetary support they provided did not cover a quarter of the expenses, I had to make requests to friends and strangers and also thanks to my work, when I was at the limit of my strength. Unfortunately, none of us have had the right to any monetary support until now, and it has been extremely challenging to put judgments aside, especially when my partner has always made himself available to help others and even traveled to his country to help his family, and abdicated of his share of the inheritance because he had such a simple life, he never imagined that one day he would need it. As soon as I stopped contacting them, out of exhaustion and the feeling that they had placed all the responsibility on my shoulders, knowing that I didn't have the financial resources to shoulder such responsibility, I realized that for months none of them tried to contact us. I felt completely overwhelmed and for a few months this was constantly going on in my head, I sought psychological support precisely to be able to deal with these emotions, but it seems that only now when watching your videos, I can finally feel some empathy and direction. At this moment this no longer controls my life, but there are still judgments left specialy with the lack of ways to pay bils. On the other hand, I have met other people capable of providing some support I would like to have from my/his family and in a way this has helped me to defocus. It's very challenging to have such a change in your life, to have a job as a 24/7 caregiver, and on top of that, without being able to leave the house, you still have to find the means to pay essential expenses... so im trying to get coping mechanisms to got out of this and go in the next floor and be able to give him the best and keep my strength!

I wish these behaviors you talk about were the only thing my mother was doing! My mother is ripping her family apart because of her behavior. She lies and makes up stories, so no one wants to be around her!

I took care of both my parents,more so my mom,cooking,light cleaning,did her hair,my older brother did alot too.My younger sister did nothing.I will never regret helping them,my mom in particular needed more help.They both passed,dad first,mom two years later.They had resources,I had much less,and was divorced.I'm sure they got tired of taking care of me when I was growing up.I will never ever regret it.

When time comes for me to go into a home just take me to the vet. They know how to deal with this situation with kindness and mercy

My biggest advice is at a very early age, seek out a great chiropractor and naturalpath. They treat the body as one system..Western Medicine does the complete opposite…breaking up the body into increments. Which begins a spiraling, out of control nightmare.

This is helpful...however, the term "hot mess" is annoying.

Good grief ...nobody has to pay for my bills!!! Thats all u care about????

This was such a timely video taking care of my demanding 84 yr old father mostly on my own. Needed to hear this. Thank you

Sure, medicaid will pay for long term care. Then they will put a lien on the patient's house and the kids won't get it, the state will.

What can you do with an elderly parent with early cognitive decline wants to drive to your house in the middle of a work night when you are in bed to complain about an argument they had with their partner? The parent is not yet ready to have keys taken away but it’s unsafe and unfair. We might have a responsibility to them but also to ourselves and our jobs!

My parents set up a total storm in a previous pretty normal family by over using and depending on and favoring my failue to launch, abusive older brother and disinheriting their daughters, ( who actually spent more time with our parents and total access to have relationships with our kids throughout their lives, and both of us, while struggling a bit as all young parents do to raise kids and pay the bill were thriving, educated and decent money, 6 children between us and most of all more willingness to help them in much better ways than spoiled bad with money and care brother) then he and parents were puzzled by my sis and I pulling back. Her still working and myself going through a divorce when my dad got sick, but still helping. Then my brother banned us from the property. We later found Dad and mom had already put it in his name. Sadly both were abused, neglected by said brother and died within months of brother pressuring them to make sure he got it all. Sis and I were basically laughed at by adult protective services when we sought help for our parents. Our parents suffered from their obvious misguided favoritism. My sis and I were crushed and angry. Caregivers get a sense of entitlement to parents assets that insure, siblings will be less likely to help their entitled, controlling and poor choices supposed caregiving but really more taking than giving sibling, who often repells others helping by their own greed and inability to actually "share" reaponsibilities. Of course many care givers refuse to take into account just why siblings aren't rushing and volunteering for more abuse. Go figure, huh.

You nailed it! That’s where I’m at and I want out!

When I calmly call her on her bullshit she explodes and tells me how mean I am. Yeah. Joy. At least I'm finally at a spot where I just don't care and she can't upset me.

You can’t have the conversation, I can’t be your assisted living because they’re irrational. I finally just gave up and have no conversation at all

I'm still young but I would like to know how do I legally protect myself from my predatorial relatives? I'm still fairly young but I do have predators in my family and I want to protect myself and maintain my Independence and freedom as much as I can. What little wealth I have accumulated I have already signed over half of that to my kids. If I have any money left over after final expenses I will get rid of it right away and make myself a small Target. There's not much incentive to take guardianship and take hostage a broke elder. I have also decided I'm going to choose where and if I need assisted living and it's going to be South of the border. I want to do paperwork to make sure my predatorial relatives have no power over me at all.

I’m burnt out doing double caregiving and working full time also; I’m really done. 😢 I need to get back to living my life and not theirs…

What about the situation where the one female sibling of 4 children has, out of fear, moved Mom in with her and taken over her life and is demanding the 3 brothers help take her to doctors visits, have her stay with them insisting she needs 24/7 care although she gets around slowly but no falls, can bathe, cook and dress herself. Lots of unnecessary doctor visits being from Canada where it's free. Causing a lot of resentment in a close knit family. All built on the one childs fears. How is that boundary effectively stated ?