Video

I miss the old days.

This video means something to me.

I thought I was getting better

I wasn’t made to be a functional person. I wasn’t made to have a job or have freinds, I was made to see how deep of a dive I can make into depression before the soul crushing thoughts get to me. Ever since the was eight or seven years old I’ve had thoughts of suicide. I don’t think there ever was a reason for it. I made my first attempt at twelve and I started self harming at twelve too, it hasn’t gotten any better I’ve just become more self aware. I’m 15 now and things aren’t looking good for me. It’s not going to get any better.

I ended my 1 year relationship 2 months ago. It had to end because the relationship was not healthy (I won't go into details). We both ended the relationship with understanding and parted ways. I will go to university, and she will soon move to another city and continue his life there. Even though I was the one who ended the relationship, I told her I wanted to meet for the last time and she agreed. At least we will talk and discuss why the relationship ended and say goodbye to each other. I told her I wanted to meet her because this might be the last time I see her. There is an earthquake risk in the city they will move to, and it is not something to be taken lightly. There is a very high probability of an earthquake with a magnitude above 7.5 Unfortunately, she and her mother will move away due to family reasons and I'm afraid. I still liked her when I broke up with her. Whenever I listen to this music, I think of the beautiful memories we had together. I hear your voice echoing in my head and it makes me sad. When I was in a relationship with her, I thought that I couldn't live in the moment every time we met. When I meet her in a few days, I'll remind myself to live in the moment. I will engrave every inch of your face in my mind and try to hear your voice more clearly. Because this might be the last time I see her.

Can’t believe they both died

You made a sorrowful place feel like home. I haven't felt comfort since you left. I hope we see each other again and you can tell me how your cat is doing.

we used to be so in love, he came to all of my track meets to cheer me on even if i lost the races. he always knew what to say to brighten my day and was so interested in what i liked or had to say. where did it all go wrong? one day we got into a huge fight and i tried to break up with him but he said he wanted to work things out. we said we would be super strong after this fight because now we know how to handle things. we were both confident things were gonna last. but, after that fight, he started acting different. i didnt know him anymore. he wasnt the boy i fell in love with, it felt like i was dating a person i only knew for a few days when i had known him for months, he just began to act like someone else. i finally broke up with him a few days after his birthday party. he had invited me and i went but only me and his little sister hung out since we were the only girls there. it didnt feel like i was even meant to be there at all. he never cared, did he? apparently, i never mattered to him. i unadded him on everything but he texted me from his number which i forgot to block, he apologized and asked if we could still be friends, i knew its the best option to forgive so of course i said yes, i still loved him more then anything. we began to talk more and we still told each other ‘i love you.’ he called me pretty and i called him handsome, the thing was, we were just “friends.” a little bit later, he posted a “one hour” call with his girl bsf. i swiped up and asked why he posted that since he never once posted any of our calls and our longest one was about 8 hours. he said it wasnt that deep and that i shouldnt think to much about it but it was all i could think about. i was asking him so many questions and eventually he told me he liked her. i began sobbing my eyes out. not even a full 24 hours after i broke up with him, he already liked someone else. i was heartbroken. the next day, i woke up early and i knew he was sleeping because he always liked to sleep in, just not the days before his wrestling tournaments so he could practice. while he was sleeping, i officially blocked him on everything but my heart ached every night knowing i wasnt gonna hear his laugh anymore. he still had a baby voice so i knew i wasnt ever gonna hear that little laugh of his again because he will eventually grow up. i know he wasnt the one for me and i knew long before we dated but i was so in love with him. i knew i should have listened to God’s warning signs, He tried to save me from what was to come but i was to blinded by the “love” i received. he always used to tell me everyone he loved left him and i always wondered why because he seemed like the sweetest boy ever. now i know why. he broke my heart and he could care less. besides the many amount of times he hurt me and wasnt there for me, i’ll always forgive him, but i’ll never go back. i pray that one day, he’ll find a girl who can change him into a better man and turn him to God. i pray he learns to mature and that he cant always be right. i pray he achieves his dreams that he always talked to me about at school, i pray every wrestling meet/tournament he goes to, he gets all the pins. i pray he stays protected and i pray he learns to forgive and choose to know God. in Jesus’ name, i pray, Amen. i’ll always remember you. i’ll always be here for you, too.

I hate love but I’m craving it, I know that I’m unlovable but I still believe everyone who’s pretending to love me, I don’t want to be like this anymore, I feel disgusted by their lies

I love this song but it makes me feels so empty at the same time, life goes on but I’m still unable to move on with it, I hate myself and life and everything that I can’t control

i dont open up like at all but might as well this once. this song and even the frog sounds remind me of this one memory. so for context i was 12-13 and my dad was going through smt and started drinking. it got really bad and the family would never get along and the vibe of the house was different when my dad came in. didnt know what impulsive thing he might do or say to someone. after months of him drinking he flipped his own truck that he loved so much. it was wrecked and my dad was so drunk. he was driving to come pick me up. my friend took me home cause they saw the wreck while i was alone waiting to be picked up. i went to their house for the weekend and come back finding out about the truck. it wasnt until a year later my dad took me the doc on our pond at night where he apologized for him drinking and everything he did. and i found out only a year later about him crashing cause he was drunk. and how he had to do rehab. for how long he drank i always missed my dad. when he was drunk it felt like someone else was there. and when he was finally sober and talked to me on the doc (our first deep talk with him being sober) i felt like i met him after such a long time. it was an unforgettable night and how it felt feeling like my real dad came back. i miss him.

Peaceful Solitude.

Does anyone know where this picture was taken from?

i traveled to el salvador when i was young,maybe 12 years old,my dad owns several properties there and we stayed at one of them. we stayed in the main house and there was several other smaller houses. a girl lived in one of those houses with her mother and sister. she was a few years older than me,i think she was 14,she was very outgoing and adventurous and i was the complete opposite very timid and wanted to stay home. even though i was so young i remember her being the most beautiful girl i had ever seen in my life. i don’t remember how it happened but we met each other and would play together everyday from the moment the sun came up until the moon was high up in the sky,our parents would often have to force us to go in. she made me feel so warm inside,sometimes i would have trouble going to sleep because of how excited i was to wake up and spend the day with her again. she’d show me around the city and we’d get into all sorts of trouble. she’d introduce me to all her friends and they were all fascinated by me because i spoke english,i even taught them how to say a couple things. i don’t know what it was that caused such a special bond but we both enjoyed each other’s company so much. after being out there for months my dad finally told me it was time to go back home,i remember immediately asking him if we could bring her with us and he just laughed and told me of course not she lives here she has her family and friends here - her whole life is here. i was devastated and even cried lol when i told her i was leaving and what my dad had said she ran to her little house all the way in the back,yelling and crying to tell her mom they needed to leave with us. her mom basically told her the same thing my dad told me. our last night there my dad took us out to eat and said he planned on coming back by the end of the year again so we would see each other again soon anyway - that made us really happy,we stayed up the whole night together until she finally had to go back home but before she left she kissed me and told me i better come back. we left the next day,i didn’t get to say goodbye because we left so early. we didn’t end up going back by the end of the year like my dad had planned instead we returned around may. when i got back the first thing i did was run straight back to her little house - running back there felt like forever but when i finally made it back i started banging on her door yelling her name. i was there knocking for so long. no one ever answered that door. my dad already knew they had moved out,idk why he never told me and chose to let me find out how i did. i never saw her again. for the rest of my time there i questioned if she was even real,why would she leave? she knew i would come back. believe it or not this was actually the shortest possible version of what happened and i also apologize for my broken english. my point though is; this song along with the picture - is like a daze,it makes me feel that warmth again,it feels like seeing her looking into my eyes,seeing her smile and hearing her laugh. it makes me feel like im back there all over again,with her.

i don't believe in love now that you've left me

this reminds me of that rainy night of december, the last day of school before the christmas holidays, laying on her chest. i was just, happy

this feels so nostalgic to me, feels like a cold wind, a wave sound, a hug. i felt like i’m in my childhood house idk how to explain

this is how it feels after you leave your favourite bands concert.

Hoping one day things will start to get better. Just keep trying.

I cant lol

I used to be so lucky.

i miss you

I want my last breath to be while hearing this song, let me die

it was inevitable my friend

I feel like I am losing and finding myself at the exact same time

The first time I saw him was the last, this memory sounds like this and it’s killing me, I just want to close my eyes and never open them ever again

:( My life is overwhelming and I want to give up But maybe I'll try and take it a little easier when I can. I'm just scared of failure and not being enough

i love this song so much

I miss you every day I will never forgive myself for losing you André 🫤

Real mn é fd

I think I have basically started to self harm through substance abuse because I am so scared of losing my mother that I want to die before she does.

There was a time in my life where i would climb to the tops of hills and mountains and sit, smoking a gandalf-esq pipe and just, observe. In those moments I feel like I could feel almost anything that I had been holding back, the grief of my grandad passing away, the disappointment and insecurities I hold about myself, the love I have for my family and friends that runs so deep like a gold vein. Just sitting, on natures hand-made viewing point, realizing that you're a part of this, this wild, unfair, beautiful, unexpected life, that this will all exist when you depart from this life, that all these miniscule feelings don't move mountains, it all such a rush and also a blessing to feel. This song seems to encapsulate this entire experience fully, something about it, being so simple, but rendering up such complex thoughts and emotions, its an amazing piece of art many people will sadly never get to experience unless we share it with people. Thank you for reading if you did, your time means a lot to me. Its the only real thing we have in this life.

Solidão 🫤

Real mn

I am Gods lonely man and i cant do nothing about it

This feels like the sunrise after something horrible happened,chaotic yet peaceful.

Gonna listen to this for my next Ketamine Therapy session. I think this is healing me.

Everyday i miss your voice

so many memories can flowing in my head with this it almost made me cry here is one i will share it was the afternoon i had just woken up from a long restful nap my mom was downstairs cleaning the dishes and my dad was smoking so I haveing nothing else better to do go downstairs and put me in some pizza rolls and so i cook them then i get them out and put go to the couch and i put on a show about people haveing to race to get to the finish line kind of like wipeout if you know what that is and after im done eating i go give me mom the biggest hug and say i love you amd i do the same to my dad now looking back a would do anything to relive my childhood just one more time and psa im 17 so while only a couple years ago i think i was 13 when this all happen but it feels like a lifetime ago especially with the fact that one year later in 2020 my dad died and my dog died so ya i miss them both so much love you guys and to anyone who read this thank you it means a lot to me

this reminds me of that one girl

i wish she loved me back

you ruined me and i still miss you

😂

Thankyou.

every day i'm closer to kms😂

feeling it all to this

this a banger, love u for this

i wish someone would make this but with baby giggling, yk? Like i heard it on tiktok but theres no version with the giggling. It makes me feel so nostalgic 😭

Thank you so much, I love this track :3