This video is something that I've wanted to make for a while. My grandfather has Parkinson's and it wasn't bad at first, but after he got Covid in 2021, it got so much worse and continues to worsen. Every day is different and his condition is slowly getting worse. My parents are working so hard to take care of him and not have him go to a nursing home, but it's so clear that it's taking a serious toll on them. Naturally, this is even worse for my mom because this is her father and she has broken down multiple times because of it, which is valid.
So where do I come into all of this? Well, I'm an empath and I've been known to be very good at comforting people, personally calling myself a mini therapist. So, I'm the one people go to when they're upset or just need a hug. Because of this, I've put this pressure on myself that I have to keep my emotions and all of my shit together to help everyone else. I'm the one they rely on, so I have to be reliable by keeping myself together. However, I've been struggling with this more and more as time goes on because I've been bottling up my emotions for the sake of others. During my trip to England, my group was having a serious issue, and I was the one supporting them and helping them, keeping myself together to avoid breaking down from the intense emotions.
I plan to talk to my therapist about this, but I don't know how to stop this habit of mine. I should be allowed to feel things, yet I'm pressuring myself to keep it together for no reason except that other people need me, which isn't true. This ISN'T me asking for advice on how to deal with this, by the way! This is me venting out my frustrations with myself and the stress I deal with at home. Please don't give me advice when I'm not asking for it.
Thank you for your time.