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*[Radioactive Butterfly]* MC’s “CORE” power has an interesting twist on this date. Besides having some kind of power that can change the world, it also makes her deadly to others because her core not only repels the radiation but also absorbs it. I think one part from the [No Man’s Land] event -that I will post in tumblr later- perfectly paints MC’s unique situation on this date. *_In Lucien's laboratory, I discovered an exceptionally beautiful butterfly with vibrant wings trapped inside a glass dome, gently fluttering its wings._* _A. Quietly admire it._ _B. Open the glass cover and release the butterfly._ If you choose A, Lucien appears behind MC and explains that the butterfly's wing color was caused by radiation, so while it was beautiful, it had to live its entire life under the glass dome. If you choose B, the lab radiation alarm blares because the radiation level inside the building has suddenly spiked several hundred times-it turns out that the butterfly is radioactive. MC is in the same situation as the butterfly. Her ‘vibrant wings’ (core power) prevent her from living freely. She has to isolate herself from others to protect them. Her life has primarily been one of experimentation, treated as a tool for a future envisioned by many lunatic scientists. Most people don't see her as an equal, but rather as a means to an end. For MC, Lucien is different from them in many ways. Here's another snippets from [No Man's Land Event] *_….I asked Lucien why he never referred to me by my experiment number. Lucien also seemed to ponder for a moment, and then he simply said that perhaps I am not just an experimental subject or a creation._* Take note of how her question doesn't grant an immediate answer from Lucien because this habit is not deliberate; Lucien subconsciously regards her as more than just an ‘experiment subject.' MC believes that he is different from those crazy scientists. He doesn't hurt her too much and even gives her some kind of small freedom by giving her an isolation suit that allows her to explore freely and interact with other people and living creatures without fear of hurting them. Although she doesn't fully trust him, she still sees him as the gentle and generous City Lord who tried his best to save his people. But during one of their visits, seeing Lucien's unsettling composure as he tends to the horrific illness, MC perhaps begins to see the other side that Lucien hasn't let her see.

*[Eros and Thanatos]* Their time is running out as the radiation tide gets worse in Zone X. And as what they call it, desperate times call for desperate measures. In order to push MC to control her power and free her, Lucien bets his own life with a pretty-much-staged reveal of his other side -(i mean, come on, he’s been hiding the whole corpse thing for MONTHS, and you told me he clumsily forgot to clean up one day and conveniently leave traces of blood that can lead you to his dark basement thingy???)- Rather than using the dark side™ to explain his other side, I’ll just use Eros and Thanatos dual theory instinct. _* Walking into the city, a man with a festering arm rushed out, accusing Lucien of not only failing to cure him but also making him neither human nor a ghost. Meanwhile, another person lying on a stretcher claimed that it was the city lord who had saved them. *_ If you choose to ask him, Lucien will react like this: _Lucien smiled and said that the truth shouldn't be told by him but depends on which truth I am willing to believe. _ In the early 1910s, Sigmund Freud proposed the theory of Eros and Thanatos. This theory suggests two fundamental forces influencing human behavior: - Eros (Life Drive): Represents the instinct to create, bond, and preserve life. It encompasses sexual and social urges, as well as the will to survive. - Thanatos (Death Drive): Represents an unconscious drive towards self-destruction, aggression, and returning to an inanimate state. It manifests in destructive urges and aggression directed inwards or outwards. *_It seems as if the divine and the devil coexist paradoxically within him, making it impossible for me to define him in any way._* As a character, Lucien embodies both Eros and Thanatos. His curiosity, thirst for knowledge, scientific pursuits, and care for life reflect Eros, while his willingness to use painful and deadly experiments even toward himself to achieve his goals and his anticipation of his death signify Thanatos. His Thanatos-driven action highlights a ruthless determination to achieve his objectives; essentially, you can call it his Ares’ side. Not only did they coexist, but both Eros and Thanatos instincts can blend as well. For example, through his use of corpses for biogas production, which is an approach to utilizing death for the benefit of life. *_A pure, yet obsessive, mad, yet patient soul._* His intentions and ideals are inherently good and pure. He is also a patient man, willing to wait for years for his research to bear fruit. Even if it doesn’t yield anything in his lifetime, it doesn’t matter to him, as he believes someone will continue his path. However, his obsession (in this context, 偏执 means ‘inflexible’ obsession/fixation with his ideal and truth of the world. It contains some stubbornness in it ahah) and madness drives him to do anything to achieve his goals. What he said in Season 1 Chapter 16 is proven true during this date-that he won't hesitate to sacrifice anyone, even himself, to advance the world. MC remains the sole exception to this, as she is the only person to whom he grants some freedom and choice in this matter. He won't sacrifice someone important to him.

*[Philosophies of Death and Rebirth]* -Speaking of death and life- of course Lucien’s date won’t be complete without some kind of philosophical discussion about them- *_Lucien:_*_ Humans can feel the existence of life through extreme fear. They will instinctively want to protect themselves, and that drive will generate immense energy._ Around 200 years ago, Kierkegaard shared insights about human existence (Kierkegaard, 1983). He explained that humans are unique because we are aware of our existence and can reflect on ourselves. This awareness brings two emotions: awe and dread. We feel awe at the beauty of life and dread at the reality of death, which can come at any moment. Awe inspires us to live fully, seek love, make connections, and find meaning in life. On the other hand, Dread reminds us of death's constant presence and makes us even more aware of our existence. *_MC:_*_ So everything over the past six months... was it all your facade?_ *_MC:_*_ To make me truly feel fear?_ *_Lucien:_*_ No, I want you to always remember the feeling you just had._ *_Lucien:_*_ You should have been constantly thinking, striving to survive, and seeing many scenes._ *_Lucien:_*_ Remember how you used that power and then tame it._ *_Lucien:_*_ Only then will you be complete._ Rather than making her feel fear, Lucien's goal is for her to fully control her own power. I think in the end, they're both using each other to complete their own goal; MC uses Lucien to complete her change, and Lucien copies MC's power so that he can research the radiation himself. It's a mutually beneficial cooperation. Which, although extreme -(worst case scenario is that Lucien dead and MC be traumatized by the whole thing)- it's arguably the least risky way according to Lucien's enigmatic working mind lol. Like, at least in the worst-case scenario, she won't be dead. Interestingly, this part of Lucien's dialogue can be analyzed through Heidegger's concept of "being-toward-death." Heidegger (1962) wrote, _“If I take death into my life. Acknowledge it, and face it squarely, I will free myself from the anxiety of death and the pettiness of life-and only then will I be free to become myself.”_ Heidegger's philosophy exhorts us to accept death and to use it as a means of understanding the purpose of life. According to Heidegger, acknowledging death allows us to enjoy life to the fullest and cherish the time we have. Death, in this view, can be a source of freedom as it liberates us from the limitations of life and enables us to realize our full potential, in this case, MC fully realizing her power. So, with all being said and done, is death the end? I don’t think so. Death is not the end, as new life and knowledge can be born through understanding death. Death is not the end, because there will always be people who pick up and continue your path even after your passing. Death is not the end when it can provide for new life to grow, even through something as unhinged as using corpses to produce electricity. _Watching his retreating figure without turning his head, I instinctively crawl out of the black bag._ _I feel as if I've just experienced death and have been reborn with new flesh and blood in this moment._ _I want to know what he means and see how far he can go._ Death and apocalypse don’t necessarily mean the end; they can even mark the beginning of a new future. After all, only after experiencing death can you be reborn from the ashes like a phoenix. And while at it, they somehow have ‘wholesome’ heart-to-heart talk… isn’t it silly that they can finally talk frankly when both of them are kind of trying to kill the other- //just kidding, i personally like this talk because it fulfills something that I didn't realize needed lol. It feels like- S2 ch 23 approach to S1 ch 13 conflict if that makes sense? 😂 like instead of a dramatic break-up, we get them just, communicating their feelings because of their instinctive trust in each other ksksksks. Perhaps it's because MC instinctively trusts that Lucien won't kill her, and her curiosity exceeds her fear. And maybe it's because Lucien trusts that MC can unlock her power that he is willing to bet his own life.

*[Future in his eyes]* *_Lucien:_*_ Why change the world? I think this world is fine._ *_Lucien:_*_ What I want to seek is 'evolution'._ What is 'evolution' in the post-apocalypse setting? It's more abstract from Lucien's practice of 'evolution' in the main story -(like evolving 'everyone' or straight up ascending the world's dimension). - In this AU, 'evolution' is more about to the process of advancing and adapting to overcome extreme challenges like war, illness, and disaster, which will always permeate human history. This concept of evolution is about finding ways to adapt and advance humanity to solve these crises. Some real-life examples would be how wars and pandemics accelerate technological development. When trying to survive, humanity gains immense power to conquer those challenges. *_Lucien:_*_ Radiation, disasters, and the like are merely puzzles posed by objective reality, and we are the problem solvers._ *_Lucien:_*_ Only in this way do we qualify to step onto a new level._ According to this dialogue, Lucien sees that the world is already undergoing evolution. The ongoing process of 'solving' post-apocalyptic challenges through continuous scientific and technological advancements is a form of evolution itself. Of course, it's a collective effort, and he is just one of many people who try to solve it. Lucien is not interested in fundamentally changing the world but in advancing and adapting it. However, his ultimate objective is still the same as that of the main story. *_MC:_*_ What's your objective?_ *_Lucien:_*_ A better future. -[S1 Chapter 13]_ I don't think MC's and Lucien's ideas of change and evolution clash; rather, they can complement each other. Imagine a seed: Lucien wants the seed to be tough enough to survive in a harsh world by making the seed stronger, while MC wants to change the world so it'll be less harsh to the seed; both of them want a better future where the seed to survive and thrive but through a different approach. *_Lucien:_*_ MC, do you know? From the moment you appeared before me, I realized that this world is actually full of color._ *_Lucien:_*_ So, I really want you to see what the world looks like through my eyes._ If there's one thing that MC has already changed, it's Lucien. She doesn't change his view on evolution, but she made him realize that the world is not so depressing and actually full of color: it's beautiful and interesting. So, it would be boring if the world were only about survival. What is the end point of that evolution? We will never know, but for a start, we can see the beginning of the future through his eyes. Through adaptation and innovation he generates electricity that can light up the entire area, transforming the deadliest area into beacon of hope. While lighting up the area doesn't immediately solve the crisis, it is a step towards evolution. Not only does it aid in a better future, but it also possesses the power of 'beauty'. Quoting from Gallery Date, (beautiful things have the power to inspire people and change their hearts) it can lead to more and more areas being illuminated. That future even contains his selfish wishes... like a future where MC can be ordinary and free or a future where they can hold hands without any worries. Lastly, let's compare these two lines from the date: _Strangers speak in tongues I cannot comprehend, their eyes perpetually fixed on the distant future, but all I sense is madness._ _Sharp, resolute, and scrutinizing. He seems to be _*_peering through me_*_ to a distant place._ Here, you can see how both Lucien and the mad scientists from her past focus on the future. However, while the other scientists see only their own envisioned future and use her to reach it, Lucien sees the future *within* her. He recognizes her potential, and rather than simply seeing her as a test subject, he sees her as equal and wants her to be an active participant in shaping the future. So all this time, he’s been patiently waiting for her to come to his side, then reveal everything and invite her to embark on a long and unknown journey together. After that experiment, both of them had already gotten what they wanted from their cooperation. Now that she knows how to control her power, she can be free and protect herself, and he doesn't need her help to research things in the radiated area. He will simply drift away and continue to move forward the world in the direction that he wants if she chooses not to. However, he hopes that she will continue to accompany him in moving forward. Luckily, she takes his hand and they run towards the unknown future together. Rather than the joy of survival, it signifies the arrival of freedom and a brand-new world. He also encourages her to become "Queen" and seek the change she wants. _“Welcome to the new world.”_ text with the screen all black is such a BRILLIANT way to end this date. _There is always a trend, but _*_the changes in the world will always exceed our imagination._* Thank you for reading!

LMAOO yeah the random English world is part of the bgm 🤣

you're welcome! ^^

you're welcome! 🥰

This date as a whole centers around two important things, *experience* and *emotions*. While the relationship between experience and emotion can be complex and multifaceted, the way I get it from this date is that; *if ‘experience’ is more about the ‘input’ that we get from our senses, then ‘emotions’ are the ‘output’ of our experience.* In other words, experiences provide the stimuli that trigger emotional responses. Both experience and emotions are important things for us humans; together, they contribute to our ability to fully engage with and appreciate the present moment, rather than simply going through the motions of survival… They’re also two things that Lucien has been learning over the years. First, let’s talk about experience, when our observer scientist sheds his lab coat and removes his glasses, he transforms into an ordinary person sincerely in love with you and deeply experiencing love. This date depicts how he *experiences love in the warmth of everyday life*, and amusingly, it almost makes this date feel as if MC and Lucien are _newlyweds on their honeymoon_ ahah. From shopping for furniture for their new home to encountering silly and unexpected problems that the organizer throws at them (just like how everyday lives always throw problems at us lol), to grocery shopping and cooking together, and cough even the fact that they’re basically ‘on fire’ everyday cough- The grocery shopping parts are especially funny -(with just Lucien being Lucien lol)-… and cooking scene is just chef kiss. It’s really endearing to witness how he adapts to homemaking tasks in his unique way, all because of his love for you. Still on the topic of ‘experience’; do you know that both of the more *descriptive spicy scenes are part of the plot?* First, the spicy -domming- ‘guiding’ scene. In that scene, MC guides him to *focus on what his senses told him* instead of giving processed answers. And this seems to work because, throughout the date, you can notice him *developing more opinions on things based on his senses* as he experiences everything. Previously, because he never slowed down and always looked far ahead (See also, his Summer UR MQ, recent CN birthday date and story for more in-depth digging about this theme-), he never fully ‘experienced’ life. But with MC’s guidance, her *“sharing the world”* with him, he starts to perceive the world around him more keenly. This transformation is evident in tasting scenes and fireworks scenes, where he earnestly uses his senses to taste their cooking, hearing the loud firecracker noises, and smelling the scent of gunpowder. *She doesn’t only ‘bring’ color to his monochrome world, but also the taste, smell and noises of the world around him as he experiences the present.* All these stimuli make his world no longer feel ‘silent’ to him. Sometimes, loving him feels like pulling a ‘god’ from his pedestal to experience the lively and ordinary life of mortals. Perhaps he loses some of his ‘invincibility’ (like for example, that causes him to fall for consumerism trap lol), but in this way, he becomes more alive and real. (2/?)

Then about emotions. The initial discussion about emotions centers around “emotional synchronization” between lovers, setting the stage for exploring how MC and Lucien perceive and handle each other’s emotions. *Just as MC accepts all of Lucien’s emotions, whether they be sadness or happiness _[referencing Lucien’s CN birthday date in 2023]_, Lucien reciprocates by accepting all of her emotions.* Lucien demonstrates emotional stability and maturity as a partner, creating an environment where MC feels no need to restrain her emotions in his presence. He is fond of and intrigued by her colorful range of emotions _(and a bittersweet reminder of how she's the only color and how moods affect her “color” in his eyes ahah:”””)_. This highlights their curiosity and fascination with understanding each other on a deeper level. For them, all human emotions are necessary, but MC initially wanted Lucien to feel more positive emotions. With the concept of “emotional sync” in mind, she promises to convey more positive emotions for him, inadvertently restraining her own emotions in the process. However, during their time together in the small city, she learns that even so-called “negative emotions” have value. Despite facing challenges or “troubles,” both characters find joy and support in each other’s company. MC finds Lucien’s moments of vulnerability endearing, while Lucien appreciates MC’s encouragement and companionship. They both come to acknowledge the natural ebb and flow of emotions in their relationship, realizing that *some negative emotions are far from being detrimental; it’s simply part of their day-to-day life. Those emotional fluctuations are just a very small part of their overall happiness~* ALL THE FEELINGS FROM THE SECOND EXPLICIT SPICY SCENES SUCCESSFULLY MADE ME CRY. Experiencing all sorts of things with her during experiments and everyday life … even things and wishes that he never consciously longed for yet always wanted: 许墨很快乐,很幸福 The meaning of these words are difficult to render accurately in English, and my “Xu Mo/Lucien is very happy, very content with his life.” are just barely scratching the surface… While 快乐(kuài lè) refers to a more transient or temporary feeling of happiness and joy, often related to a fun event, 幸福 (xìng fú) encompasses a profound and enduring sense of happiness and contentment in life. It signifies a state of well-being that extends beyond momentary pleasures, often associated with having a loving family, spouse, fulfilling relationships, and a sense of overall satisfaction with one’s life. *So when combined, it emphasizes the fact that while experiencing all the ups and downs of the world with her, Lucien is not only feeling immediate joy and pleasure (“快乐”), but also enjoying a deeper, more lasting sense of happiness and fulfilment (“幸福”), he is both happy in the moment and all of his life.* By slowing down and deeply experiencing each moment of their shared life, he discovers his own happiness and longing that even he himself never knows about. So, he wants her to experience every bit of his happiness and love that has blossomed because of her… candidly and unrestrainedly wants her to experience _all_ of him. (3/?)

In another vein, *LOVE IS A VERB,* NOT A NOUN!!! *It’s a continual action, continual choice, continual promise to another person.* And no matter how many words are spoken, both of them can’t fully express the deep love beating in heart. So, when words are too “shallow” to even capture a fraction of deep love and happiness, he can only confess them through instinctive actions, recklessly pouring out his heart in every embrace, every kiss, and every touch. And yet, the question still stands, _Can a deep kiss express this love? Can a long embrace reveal the yearning in the depths of our hearts?_ They’ve done everything, yet it still feels *not enough,* and perhaps… it will take a lifetime of shared experiences and ‘confessions’ to fully reveal the depths of his love and longing for her. AND SPEAKING OF CHOICE(S), the BGM choice for that last spicy scene is freaking genius!!! It comes from 5th-anniversary special theatre“The many choices of life” video (You can check it on my YT channel!). This special video is all about the power of your/MC’s choice. I want to highlight the first “what if” scenario. The first “what if” is about what would happen if she had chosen to not meet Lucien. _Between black and white, he always walk in a lighter shade of gray and asking questions to the world. He looks at the whole world, without caring if there were eyes looking into his._-[5th Anniversary Special Theatre] In this scenario, the narrative explores what would have happened if *MC hadn’t met Lucien.* Without their encounter, Lucien would still be questioning and seeking understanding from the world around him. He would have found another path, albeit one that didn’t involve her, dedicating himself to searching for the 'most optimal solution.’ *However, his world would remain black and white, indifferent to whether there were people who tried to understand him and care for him :”.* Anyway, by using this as a BGM choice, it *accentuates the power of your/MC’s choice* in shaping him being the way he is right now; *while still running on the path to explore truth with dedication, he also finds happiness and contentment along the way because of her choice.* In conclusion, Lucien’s writers never fail to captivate us and deliver top-tier writing! This date highlights the importance of experiencing life fully and embracing all emotions, while also underscoring the transformative power of love~ His writers really excel at utilizing his character to its fullest potential. I can go on and on, talking about all the small details and references on this date but this UR won’t be published any time soon if I do LOL. If you’ve read so far, thank you for reading this date and my rambles~

sameee 😭 even until now i still feels hollow everytime I read the date :" and you're welcome!

You're welcome~

Hello! The date is called "Blooming Amidst Turbulent Desires MQ". You can check the translation here laxmiree.tumblr.com/post/724358569293676544/cn-mlqc-luciens-blooming-amidst-turbulent

he isss 🥺 he always been beautiful~

The pool is just CG of the date (Distant Similarity) that the ASMR is based on. I can't change the CG used for the ASMR because it's a bonus from the card. It's not an exact representative of what happened in the ASMR. On the date itself, Lucien suffered from heatstroke (hence why he call himself patient in the ASMR). The ASMR is set on a bedroom, they're changing bedsheet with a more cooler sheet so Lucien would feel more comfortable with his heatstroke. Sorry if create confusion!

@@laxmiree, thank you for explaining! :D I understand now. <3

the only thing that stopped me from saying that it's crystal clear is that there's no sus clapping sound that u usually find in R18 drama CD 😂

LMFAOOO NOT THE CLAPPINGGG PLSSS💀💀💀💀 aight but the chair creaking is enough to tell us wtf is going on😭😭

ME TOO!!!!

Basically what happened in the date, yeah 😂 although it's described less explicitly in the date, it still *happens*

@@laxmireewhat’s the date called!?

@@clairewang184 Hello! The date is called "Blooming Amidst Turbulent Desires MQ". It's not yet available in EN but you can check the translation here~ laxmiree.tumblr.com/post/724358569293676544/cn-mlqc-luciens-blooming-amidst-turbulent

You're welcome rem <3333 hope you enjoy, iykwm~ hope you'll get a good night sleep thoo

@@laxmiree i enjoyed it so much that im listening to it 2x now omg have a goodnight sleep too sweet dreams

Ok but seriously Lucien went into heat during the date don't tell me otherwise

@@mintychurro9959 no it's okay, i also 100% supports p- him too 🥴 he has that vibes yannooo

@@laxmiree Let's gooo 😎

REM?? YOU STILL ALIVE? 😭 i miss u so much hnghhh WAIT FOR THE OTHER ASMR WHERE HE ACTUALLY FUCKING IN ASMR-

@@laxmiree why would you think I'll not be alive? I can't be killed nor contained 💀💀 death hates me and btw i miss miss misssss you too, thANK YOU FOR TRANSLATING CANT WAIT TO SEE MORE PRON ASMR ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@@RemXu i havent see u for a while 🥺 and your last tweet is pretty concerning jsjsjsjsusj. but i'm glad that you're okay

*woof woof*

@@noxfrey MY DOGGIE???????

summer has never been hotter huh ♨️

yes!