Video

Thank you so much for your helpful podcasts as a mum of an addict

Thank you for this information

You had me at toupe. Love you guys.

Thank you so much for this message. I really needed to hear this. I’ve kicked my son out 4-times. He has been smoking fentanyl in my home and now I have developed respiratory issues and am very sick. He constantly steals from me. He tries to manipulate me and begs to come home. He tells me he is in dangerous situations and being sexually assaulted in order for me to allow him back in the house. I almost died this last time in the hospital from whatever is ruining my lungs (the second hand fentanyl) so I cannot allow him back in. My heart is broken and I cry continually. I’ve almost lost my job, my health, my life. This is hell. He won’t get help. Broken hearted 💔 mom. 😢😢😢

John

Do you do private counseling ? Everything your talking about is exactly what Im going through with my 32 year old son who is addicted to alcohol, meth and weed. In 2019 he jumped off the Coronado Bridge in San Diego CA. He survived but ended up with a severe spinal cord injury and a crushed hand. After 4 months in the trauma unit he was released. I brought him home. And my life has been a living hell ever since. Countless rehabs where he just walks away. Numerous apartments left in shambles or calls from management not wanting him there anymore. We have sent him on so many fresh starts out of state out of pure desperation of wanting peace. Every single time within a couple weeks or maybe a month and then the cycle begins again. He uses my fear of him killing himself as a weapon to manipulate me. That part you said about when your phone rings is a trigger is so true for me too, but you gave me a few ideas about how to handle those situations that Im going to try. You gave me a different way to think about it like Im not giving him the opportunity to experience the consequences of his actions and grow. I like that. Any other advice I will surely appreciate. Thanks for giving me a place to vent. Best regards Janice

I just lost my sister last week. She nearly died at the start of the year but survived. I sorted her flat out and offered my help. I really thought id got my sister back. Not long after getting out of hospital she started pushing me away. She said i was like the police. The last month befire she passed i didnt talk to her so now i feel really guilty i didnt do more. I cant wrap my head around how nearly dying in January wasnt her rock bottom. She was in a coma for a week and then a further 3 weeks in hospital. I dont understand how this horrible drug took over her will to survive.

Thanks guys....often sugar, eating, prescription, work, money

You guys are amazing. I’ve been binging your content since experiencing something traumatic and it’s helped tremendously. Just listening has allowed me to rest, eat and even just focus on myself as the spouse of an addict. Please don’t stop. Even if it’s just you two talking about the same topics. It helps so so much.

Today is July 4, 2024. I am a wife with an addict husband, who has been an addict for 15 years. He was sober for 2.7 years before he relapsed this past November. He went to rehab, got clean and relapsed again 6 months later. We have 3 children and because of his drinking, he’s pushed our to older children away. He has been verbally abusive since his relapse and now we are separated. I’ll spare you with the details, but this has devastated me. 4:58 really resonated with the situation in my life currently with my partner. Long story short…I needed to hear this. New subbie. Thank you.

I just love you guys, i love the information because i relate to everything you discussed, you guys are such awesome role models and i would love to meet you guys one day thank you for caring and your stories, I am in recovery 34 years. God Bless you both and your awesome work. I would love to hear you talk about (why they keep going back) apart from the addiction and why some addicts just dont get it. I live my life helping others to get well and have what i have. I am a mum of an addict.

❤

Is it okay to use cigarettes and/or vapes when recovering from addiction?

I'm a parent with an addicted adult child living with me. After screaming and threats of violence, I told her get help or I will evict you. Now she is talking to strange foreign men to take her in and wants me to pay for the plane ticket. This is crazy. Because I said no, she screams at me.

Addiction is a symptom of loss of connection. Trauma can trigger dissociation disorders and we can reconnect thru hanging out with people of similar tastes and traumas without even discussing them, thereby entering an arena of repetitive traumas and risky behaviours. Counselling is an imperative first step however painful to put the trauma into words. Journaling helps, to slow down racing thoughts and ruminating. Although the last time I tried I was in such a frightened hyper vigilance state during breakdowns I couldn’t cope with that so listening to binaural beats calmed me down enough to write. Deep breathing and relaxation techniques (gaming not allowed it’s actually overstimulating.)After counselling comes therapy and that takes work. Acknowledgment of our own mistakes and resolving to learn from them

Well done guys for your honest and helpful advice for families. Bless you and stay strong!!

My sibling is using and denying use alltogether. How do you even help when they are in denial or wont be honest 😭

I think you are right on - my messed up thinking cannot be used to help my messed up thinking.

How much time do you give them to get help or move out?

This is exactly what I am going through with my 36 year old son.

Right now my adult child is so depressed I feel that she is just starting using something not even sure what yet. 😢

Sad this is so many people's world. Be thankful you had/have a why to pay for treatment.

The point when you’re reasonably aware that you have to let go and turn it over to help, is a good indicator you’re ready for change.

Interviewers are doing a FANTASTIC job, asking all the right questions.

This was such an amazing interview. She’s phenomenal. I hope my loved one transitions into PHP after inpatient discharge. I’m so tired of doing the policing of my spouse. 14 long years.. it’s created so much resentment and discouragement. I don’t want to be bothered anymore.

Thank you guys so much, I have a sibling in this exact position and I have never dealt with this before. After listening to this I know now what to do and how to approach it. Wish me luck

Thx you guys look awesome

I’m 75 my husband 84 our alcoholic son 55 30 years of this so much pain, fear, anguish, helplessness. This has been perfectly timed. Thank you

Have a very young relative spiraling and drinking dangerous amounts of alchohol daily. He has refused multiple interventions, and at this point hes surrounded by enablers who interefere with the family who is a trying ro help him.

Really helpful, thank you

My son got out of ICU -- life support / lived - now had 3 days week dialysis-- allllll from cannabis!!!!!!!! Was top of class mvp in everything/ traveled Europe ect ect church -- ya -- as soon as he got home -- where’s my stash …. Ohhh -- but we’re in the f ing system too who wants people to die -& they will just label / over medicate him til he dies

out of the 15 years with my partner , he probably has been sober for 2 months out of 15 years weve been together ... I've cried, left him a couple times, we made up cause he promised me he would change and 15 years later ! rinse... repeat 😢

Thank you ... enablers are really loving the addict to death 😢 listening to this gives me courage to set healthy boundaries with my partner of 15+ years who has a cocaine addiction... I am planning my exit plan this summer . Can no longer watch him slowly destroy himself 😢

i have given my partner 15 + years to change. He promised me from the beginning he would quit his addiction and fast forward, he still continuing his addiction now its at the point its effecting my mental well being , cant sleep. I am at the crossroads of leaving him ... time to set up the boundaries 😢 i am just so sick and tired of feeling such sadness every week ... hes a good man but i can't continue no more , and wait another 15 years to see him change 😢

This video hit me right between the eyes. I have been offering hospitality to an addict I got to know for the past year. He got off fentanyl for a while (made me think we were making progress) but kept secret the fact that he continued on crystal meth. I can see now I was only enabling him to continue his drug habits more comfortably. I tried to set a boundary previously, but waffled. You make it clear that it is necessary to require that he leave my house unless/until he asks for help with recovery.

It is but letting go for our own sanity is the best thing. I hope my daughter one day gets better but I’ll leave it in God’s hands

Enabling has ruined my family. I have one parent dead from it, and the remaining parent has gotten too old to deal with it. Our family is pretty much ruined. 25 years is a long time to deal with all of this.

35 yr old son in hospital now. Repeated severe alcohol withdrawal. Numerous hospital admissions.

I’m a group facilitator at a 30 day in-patient rehab in Barboursville WV and shown this during one of my groups for the topic of fears. Great stuff and thank you!

Very surprised you didn’t touch on steroid use

This!❤️

Was no coincidence that I'm seeing this tonight. 💔❤️

This was a great episode. 2 incredibly strong ladies ❤ Thank you for sharing your stories

I am a person in Recovery for 10 years now but things were as dark as they could be for a while. I came from a beautiful family and had an amazing childhood but getting sponsored one summer for wakeboarding I broke several bones and that’s all she wrote. You know the story. My old brother, even though he was off the charts intelligent, so funny - the most, creative, clever, talented in so many ways. He started smoking weak with fronds in high school and he had a very long, slow progressive disease and it was much harder to see than mine that came on strong and caused nuclear damage quickly. He ended up, in the worst way, surpassing me but hard and hard and hard to reach. I’ve seen both sides. I still pause as I’m typing this to say October 6th we lost him. One of the most traumatic moments made even stronger by how it all ended. I’m crying saying, ended. My family and I were, putting very lightly, devastated. Almost doing us in completely. But My mom and I got up and decided that recovery options for level 3 and up in WA is almost nonexistent. The inpatient centers we do have can’t handle the numbers and it can’t serve everyone especially indigent persons. We went on to found and created the Benton Franklin Recovery Coalition please check us out 509.recovery.org We are now the largest 501c3 in the Pacific Northwest Region. We are growing and founded to get a full wraparound services inpatient treatment center. It’s been a long uphill labor or love but it wail be open in 2025. We are so proud and work SO hard to navigate all the little and big moving parts that get thrown at us daily. Even though it will help ma h and could have saved my brother! (Treatment, Drs, police, hospitals only turned people in addiction away! Also told us it was our fault and to get out of their hospitals so they could serve real sick people! Police just punished and threw us away in jails and worse and you know how bad detoxing is you know you need help not cinder block walls and dying of DTs.) We would love to close the in some way as we do not pretend to be a recovery group ourselves, we can provide resources but we wanted to be the change for a walk in 24/7 medical detox inpatient treatment center with follow up services. We do get grants to teach loved ones of substance use disorder/trauma, healing and recovery. It’s for the addicted person and the loved one. Combining hope and help like I saw with interview with your friends Mom, Mothers of Addicts. I do have a Masters in Behavioral Health which I’m very proud of but helping isn’t just in an expensive counselor’s office. Let’s help now. Really appreciate what you’re doing! We who have recovered should use this, even in part as their ministry, right. Thank you. Dani

How do you access such a wonderful program when you live in a small rural town?

This is so tough to deal with. These dam drugs they do so much damage, not just to the addict but everyone around them.

And who should pay for treatment? Do you offer as the parent?

Please help me to come to a conclusion that is useful for him.

It's been 4+ years and I don't know what to do for him

How do I tell my spouse to give up meth ??? If I kick him out he will be homeless,and I struggle knowing he is unwell.I am seeing a psychologist every week to talk about this situation.And it's breaking me.He is a long time user, works for his dad and trys to hide it .I'm concerned for his wellbeing and I have children and attempt to hide it from them.What do I do???