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LolitaIsDead76
Registrace 19. 06. 2011
Essentially, my Channel is a Portal- I can store my videos that are self made knowing that if all my worldly possesions went up in flames, You Tube has *some* record of my life (a bit of it). I love music and use it for listening & watching my fave stuff. I love making silly vids when my kids are with me or my Mum is present n we can have a laugh.... and lastly, recently, I have decided to try and use it as a video diary (vlog) to connect my feelings, fears, progress n regress all in-line with my Mental illness's, of which I have numerous diagnosis. I am not on here for popularity or fame, simply because I like to talk, I can express my feelings through 'vlog' postings and perhaps help/ get advice/ share with someone else that may be like myself....and be able to relate. I love my son, i love my Piersy, i love a single handful of aquaintances. That be me- 38 yr old Goth little SJ (who still gets I.D.'d for Cider!! ;)
Everyone has SH*T to deal with
Just sat outside my place before the UK goes mental over the football thinking about other people and what they go through in THEIR own lives despite how awful and helpless I often feel for myself
zhlédnutí: 370
Video
Happy Birthday Zoe - apologies if you don't like...
zhlédnutí 146Před měsícem
Feeling happy today and it's Zoe birthday! A long time supporter of my wacky content! Mwhaaaaaa xxxxx
Respite at parents n reflection on a brill comment 270818
zhlédnutí 5KPřed 5 lety
Been rescued by Parents and brought back to stay with them for a short while so I can rest n get help etc. Plus they got heating on, YAY for that right now and my Son already been round to see me n plenty of hugs n kisses ....Makes the world of difference!!!!
Too old to cope with Anorexia250818
zhlédnutí 2,5KPřed 5 lety
Crept up then stormed in , all in space of a week! My body is too old and knackered for this-I can't feel my hands & feet most of the time and can't get out of bed most of the day without blackouts.... It's just the older I get, the harder this is to live with.
UPDATE: 72 HOUR SECTION UNDER MENTAL-HEALTH ACT FUCKED ME UP 130717
zhlédnutí 2,3KPřed 7 lety
UPDATE: 72 HOUR SECTION UNDER MENTAL-HEALTH ACT FUCKED ME UP 130717
UPDATE: JACKET RE-VAMP, BACK PAIN N BIG THANKS/LOVES 070717
zhlédnutí 881Před 7 lety
AS PER, YOU GUYS LEFT AWESOME COMMENTS ON MY LAST VID WHICH I'D RATHER THANK YOU'S ALL IN SPOKEN WORD..... HUGZ
ANOREXIA NOT KEEPNG ME FROM YOU AWESOME PEOPLE 060717
zhlédnutí 2,1KPřed 7 lety
ANOREXIA NOT KEEPNG ME FROM YOU AWESOME PEOPLE 060717
UPDATE WHY I NEED TO GO FOR WHILE 050717
zhlédnutí 2,3KPřed 7 lety
UPDATE WHY I NEED TO GO FOR WHILE 050717
"PLEEEESAE DON'T TOUCH/HUG & Today's funky outfit 260617
zhlédnutí 2,1KPřed 7 lety
"PLEEEESAE DON'T TOUCH/HUG & Today's funky outfit 260617
My Mental/ Physical Health Update 25062017
zhlédnutí 1,2KPřed 7 lety
My Mental/ Physical Health Update 25062017
Highly Emotional so Apologies and Big Love to Shar B 200417
zhlédnutí 858Před 7 lety
Highly Emotional so Apologies and Big Love to Shar B 200417
Excited!New rental Home +, Movecol Sachets n Med interactions 150417
zhlédnutí 696Před 7 lety
Excited!New rental Home , Movecol Sachets n Med interactions 150417
OCD or just a 'quirk' /habit?? 14.04.17
zhlédnutí 852Před 7 lety
OCD or just a 'quirk' /habit?? 14.04.17
First Phone Vid - Test Recording 13.04.17
zhlédnutí 4,6KPřed 7 lety
First Phone Vid - Test Recording 13.04.17
SHORT Update:Unicorn Hat & Forgetting to Breathe!? 130417
zhlédnutí 416Před 7 lety
SHORT Update:Unicorn Hat & Forgetting to Breathe!? 130417
UpdateVlog:Showering nightmare & People's and their perceptions 120417
zhlédnutí 502Před 7 lety
UpdateVlog:Showering nightmare & People's and their perceptions 120417
Update Vlog:Life been shite + Useful Iccle Tip 110417
zhlédnutí 418Před 7 lety
Update Vlog:Life been shite Useful Iccle Tip 110417
'Girl Interrupted Update... ' Vlog/Diary-Apologies-....
zhlédnutí 522Před 7 lety
'Girl Interrupted Update... ' Vlog/Diary-Apologies-....
3 Ways To Use BABY POWDER That Rock 280317
zhlédnutí 501Před 7 lety
3 Ways To Use BABY POWDER That Rock 280317
3 Min Vid: A Few Ideas For Next 3 Vid/Vlogs 280317
zhlédnutí 237Před 7 lety
3 Min Vid: A Few Ideas For Next 3 Vid/Vlogs 280317
Update: Big Thanks To Y'All Lovely Peoples !! 260317
zhlédnutí 441Před 7 lety
Update: Big Thanks To Y'All Lovely Peoples !! 260317
Update Vlog Trolls, E D Units n PTSD 271116
zhlédnutí 1,3KPřed 7 lety
Update Vlog Trolls, E D Units n PTSD 271116
Trolls,Dis likers and other idiots hurting innocent peoples 231116
zhlédnutí 1,1KPřed 7 lety
Trolls,Dis likers and other idiots hurting innocent peoples 231116
Vlog Update re: 'LolitaIsDead' explained n rib/ lung pain 221116
zhlédnutí 673Před 7 lety
Vlog Update re: 'LolitaIsDead' explained n rib/ lung pain 221116
Sara!!!!! Oh how I've missed you, sweet girl!
i've thought about you sometimes, hoping you're okay. really glad to see you again! ❤
Missed u
The most important relationship you will ever have is with your children and grandchildren. It's obvious you are frustrated so maybe have some grace for your son who sounds frustrated as well? It sounds like he's looking after your grandson alone. Be there as a mother and grandmother. Wellness is a choice and day by day we all choose to get better or not. Accountability is huge. Also, every day is a new day. You need a schedule for eating since you claim to not do the vomit thing. So essentially you're saying you intentionally do not eat? Maybe set up a schedule and stick to it so it becomes second nature. Your body will heal and maybe by being more active in your son and grandchildrens lives you can all heal together.
Here’s my take: he sees you’re looking better, and on a deeper level maybe he knows you’re stronger and strong enough for him to finally start showing you the pain and anger he’s been carrying around his whole life about how your choices to self harm have impacted him. I think it’s a good sign, a big part of recovery is accepting the anger of the people you hurt while you were deep in your illness. I’m proud of you, you’re making strides towards coming to terms with the reality. It’s hard, it’s embarrassing to see how /you hurting you/ hurts the people who love you. Be a parent and give him grace for his anger. He loves you. Let him get it out, that’s where healing lives. Love you. Try drinking 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda in a glass of warm water, it can help with the bloating. Take care babe, you’re doing the right stuff, it’s not all sunshine & roses, but that is ok. It’s okay for people who love each other to have uncomfortable emotions. You will get through this. ❤
🙏❤🙏
Hello
it's good to see you!
Remember me?
I love your jumper
Hello! I like your outfits
Oh God, I missed you!!!!! So glad you're back!!!! Hugs and kisses from Sweden /Maria
Your eyes are so clear right now, the color is so beautiful. Happy you’re having happy dance moments, the human experience is so rich and varied, full of beauty and pathos. Thank you for showing up today!
Good to see you! 💖💝
I have missed your kind heart❤
Omg!!!! I love you I love you I love you!!! This gave me suchhhhhh a big smile ❤ you are the best! Needed that more than you know 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 always here for you girl!
Fun!❤
I’m sorry your so sore girlie! Rest up and you’ll be ok in a day or so. I’m gonna message you on fb as I’ve had an ideaaaaa. Love ya ❤
Awww, but you will start feeling better after the sockets heal. Getting rid of infection is really going to help you long term. So sorry it’s sucking for you right now.
SJ, I am sorry you are in pain😢❤
I thought you were dead
Your poor mouth 😢 it’s awful pain! So nice to see your lovely face pop up with new vids ❤❤
❤❤❤
So good to see you again!!
🖤
🖤
OMG you're back!!!!I was just wondering the other day how you were and if you would be coming back.Its so great to see you 🙂🙂❤❤
Hey saw you pop up on IG and thought was lovely to see you are still alive and doing ok, nice to see you back on line xx
I’m so happy to see you!!
THERE YOU ARE !!!! 💜💜💜
Can you talk about recovery? You said you got fixed up in the hospital and you hope it sticks, do you have a plan for that? Can viewers do anything to help? Real talk about recovery (from whatever) is really a beneficial on platforms like YT, TT etc. I wish you luck 🫀
Well, I had to do something pretty radical out of desperation - I can do a video on this but.... Have to be really careful at this point as regards what I say as I was NG fed for months and I didn't put any weight on due to the 'situation' I found myself in - I was in a contraversal unit, not sure how much I can say but the recovery (and it was a very low target BMI I had to meet) so I purposely keep my videos as to NOT reveal the whole picture of me and what I'll wear as I don't want to trigger anyone. I will try to explain it in a video but may have to keep it for people to see at request only. I'm not sure if recovery is the right word due to the extreme length I forced myself to go through. This probably sounds a little odd and it kinda is but I NEVER want or will go through it again. It's damaged me more than I let on as I will disclose.... Watch this space and big love to you 💞, to all of you that genuinely actually watch for the right reasons 😉😍x
@@LolitaIsDead76 thanks for the reply. You can always pick & choose what to say but seeing a bit of hope in a struggling human is a beautiful thing. Whatever is giving you that spark to keep trying is worth holding on to and just talking about what gets you out of bed is helpful. Keep showing up, you’re loved.
OMG! So glad to see you!
So happy to see you!!!!❤❤❤
Yessss my girl!!! So glad we chatted and you’ve decided to come back!!!! My heart is happy ❤ if a vape has 2% written on it, it means it has nicotine in! Can’t wait for all the vids 😊 Zoe xxxx
In a good way, your fault Zoe ,lovees ya Girl xx
Great to see you back and seeming upbeat didn't really expect another video so long after the last upload ~ sending my best 🌈🌞🌙
So happy to see you! I love your hair!
Hi! So happy to see you!❤
Omg!!!!! My very first reaction before even watching the vid SJ!! Youve been on my mind regularly love
Hey!!
❤
I love you SJ
Hope everything is alright no updates or comments for a long time now 🤍
I love your outfits
Hello
Is she still around ? It sèms the latest is 5 years àgo ? I hope so x ❤
HELLO LOVE STILL MISS YOU CHECKING INN PLEASS LET US KNOW HOW YOU ARE THANKS❤❤❤❤❤
❤
is she still with us?
❤ Thinking of you
Ik I'm late as hell but is she still alive?? I really like her she seems so sweet