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34:00 my bookmark to return to later

Thank you from a sx9w1 how has lived in isolation from when I was 14 years untill 1 month ago (I just turned 37) I'm in fear honestly!

Off topic I know, I’d recommend pushing the camera back a little. You’re physically filling the frame, so it creates a sense of suffocation or discomfort. People are more likely to rewatch, especially when they appreciate the messaging like would here. Not a diss in any way, but just my take on the psychology. Time and a place for many things. Hope this helps!

Anakin 4, Vader 5? Curious.

Great video as usual...superb analysis again by Dr Tom ...love all his videos 🎉❤

We do….think people are stupid….😅😯😬

Awesome! "being nice is OK, but being nice to bad people is worst thing you can do. You need your own approval first. Be nice to yourself by saying what you need/want from others. God made you so you have value, if not religious you have to find it." Speaking up really makes life more functional and is the right thing to DO and makes life more fun! :)

Cool 😎 I wrote you in messenger

Watching this video for the 6th time and still resonating so much. I’ve always felt like I was apart of a different world and honestly would love to just live in the the woods 😂😂 would be the dream!! But also knowing I have a stabilizing energy to bring to others and much to contribute here. It is so hard not to lose myself in this world and with others, but I am learning on to balance it all and really rise. Thank you so much Tom. Your videos are an inspiration

Actually it’s relatable 🤓☝🏻

Thank you! I've often forget to be kind looking for my partner to do it all unconsciously, Great reminder ❤Bless you

Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but The Lord delivers them from them all!

Very true ❤

Thank you ❤

Tom. In todays discussion, do you see the connecton with repentence, in over identifying with whats lost? The need to appologise, admit or talk to clear whats wrong. Sometimes we can't correct the absence/loss or wrong alone. (Getting stuck)

Characterization as an individualists can come from so many different sources: Perspective, liking things ie. aesthetically different. Trying to get out of an inauthentic straight jacket, wanting to be good and ourselves. Needing the attention we can't ask for. Some people are loud about it and some quiet. Tom, You hit all the notes, and sometimes we hit all of them too, at different times, for different reasons ,in different ways. We are individuals. Like you are. Even as a 7 : ) (This is the 2nd video I wanted to say that.) Maybe we pass through phases in life? Very helpful.

The book "Crucial Conversations" also has a lot of great information on how to communicate in emotionally charged and high stakes situations. Definitely recommended if you're interested in this topic.

As far as being overwhelmed and sometimes wanting and needing to reject the responsibility of meeting someone else's needs, empathy. Your absolutely right. Give me a time out. Burnout amplifies this. We sometimes (speaking for myself) need help. ... "What do you mean,not nice, and kind?"wink! Dealing with other people's garbage brings out the tiger or exhaustion.

I just took Ennagram test twice. I was 5w4 and 5w6. Sometimes w4 and w6 are situational? Ive fought bad situations (call it evil) with my auditing skills. People steal or do bad things! I like your opinion on demonologists. Evil does exist in many forms.

You should make a video about the enneagram types and their corresponding philosophies.

9 as old soul

The sexual: I have actually wanted the gal I'm having sex with to leave the room during, because their presence has felt intrusive.

The cliché of the 4 envious of his brother wasn't my case at all, on the contrary, I always realised that behind my parents invalidating me, I was yet their favourite son. And It's key to tell the real source of the 4 complex of inferiority and lack of self-esteem, parent's invalidation, instead of confining to the effects.

8w9 yes it is true, everybody likes me.

Your channel has really helped me understand more about my personality as well as my boyfriend’s. He’s skeptical of the enneagram, but I can definitely see how each of our personality types have played a part in our relationship struggles. I am getting a better idea of how to interpret and navigate things in our relationship using this information. Thank you for your work!

Yes, but what if your spouse wants you to WANT to spend more time with them? What if they don't want to have to ask you. What if time spent with you is meaningless if you're only there to comply with their request? Is the way this situation "feels" to them unimportant? Not trying to be oppositional here...Just trying to imagine what various factors might come into play that complicate things.

Love this! Thank you Dr Tom!

"I'm not on a team, I AM THE TEAM!" ........

After everything I've watched about type 8's, it's nice to see one that focus' on the positives aspects of the type, without actually being strained. There is so much negativity surrounding type 8's, almost to the point where they are deemed as "bad people". I'm an 8 myself, but if I wasn't, id definitely want a type 8 in my corner. Wait......Maybe everything i've just said is because i'm a type 8. 🙃

I'm a four and I would say quality time is very important but I would say words of affirmation is a close second. Sometimes, I think it's my primary love language. I absolutely find acts of services off putting. It feels patronizing and infantilizing. I like to do things by myself. Yeah if I'm depressed I don want to do anything and want to stay in bed all day but when I'm not, I don't "hate doing mundane things".

Hahahaha the type 8 ! 😂 “ oh wow now I got two problems ..” this was really funny and honestly I thank god for your videos way to accurate for the people in my life

I Looooove 8s especially ENTP 8s.

I laughed out loud when you said we set ourselves up at Vice Presidents. 😅 I love being the 2nd in command but almost have a panic attack being 1st and will actually step down and let someone else lead that I think is better suited and support them even though I know I’m capable. I’ve done this on boards and in organizations. I really don’t like the light shining on me but I want to help make all the decisions.

Our pastor talked about the church being fellowship of the ppl not the building. Definitely love our church community. ❤ Getting plugged in has been amazing. We all need ppl to do life with.

Watching you guys together is beautiful ❤ Dad is constantly dropping tongue in cheek comments about his 8 daughter, and they both have such a deep understanding of each other that it doesn’t matter. Aunt Suzy is definitely real though 😂 Thanks for these videos guys, even though I’m late to this world. But as an 8 it’s ok, because it’s the internets fault for not showing me it sooner, but now it has, I can take action 😅

Fk that. That's how you end up in an abusive relationship. You either sling that shit right back at them, or nicely let them know that was hurtful and homie don't play that.

Remembering the past keeps you from experiencing the negative consequences of the past again. The last thing you want is allowing the same treatment you once experienced. Only the people who inflicted that trauma on you want you to forget it, so maybe they can attempt it again.

You get stabbed. Ha ha none of are perfect. just be mindful, laugh it off

Oh ya just throw away your natural emotion ,then hit yourself in the forehead and say none of are perfect. Then that jerk says ya you're not perfect 😅

As a 2w3 married to an 8w9 for over 20 years, I think this video is spot on! 🤩 A lot of these things we have worked on over the years and he leans more into his soft side now and can be one of the kindest human beings.

What's your MBTI?

In no way will my wife degrade me, and I the same. As a man I cannot stand for such nonsense. Degradation is n no way acceptable

“haha, my spouse is calling me stupid, that’s so funny”

As a Self pres 4 win 5. This rings true for me as a younger woman. My life is so much better for me now as I have embraced some interpersonal skills and stopped rejecting people at first glance. A friend told me that when some people first met me they thought I didn’t like them. To tell the truth I barely noticed them - I was that self absorbed!! I’m grateful for this system - it’s been my greatest insight and release ) done tonnes of therapy! ) Thankyou Tom - your insights are true and valuable. Reminds me how far I have come. X

As a 9w1, I can clearly see myself as being withdrawn and compliant by turns. I'm compliant until I need to withdraw. Assertiveness is the challenge.

As a 4 I'm not only interested in authenticity regarding my feelings at the present moment, but also facts. I mean anything can be an excuse for us to complain, especially of course identity issues.

You might suddenly need that strenght which would drive You towards the things You see others got You want too. You might be visionary in inventing, but as saying speaks that the woman's demands is true and first motivator of mens action. So You do to Yourself, when You passionate to want something. There got to be some good solid emotions which pulls you towards dreams. If I see that there is wealth, which, by what we see is surface in people, in surface we see how their wealth contributes to their happines. So we want it

I've swallowed cherry pits 😬

What MBTI and Socionics types would be most common for each 8 subtype?

What MBTI and Socionics types would be most common for each 6 subtype?