Video

I have to punch in for work but am coming back later. I think your organizational way of thinking will work for me so I'm gonna try it. By the way, I like your very down to earth, real way of videoing. Everything's not PERFECT, and probably a whole lot of us can relate to that. I appreciate it!

This is why I don't make for everyone. I have my easy low effort projects for people who I am not sure will fully appreciate it, and I have projects I make for people who I know will value it. Once you give it, you no longer have control over the thing, or what people do with it. Let it go. As for the blankets at the thrift store, you can sometimes unravel it and reuse the yarn.

I am a process person so it's easy to let go.

So if a scientist gave you a stack of papers on which he/she documented many years of research as a gift. Are you going to appreciate it and want to keep it in your files or on your bookcase for long just because he gave it to you…especially if they have limited space and most likely will never use it? just because it is made of yarn and YOU created it, it doesn’t make it any more valuable to someone who doesn’t really care whether the item is created by your hand or store bought if they don’t need it ….now don’t get me wrong I appreciate handmade gifts …some people just don’t and I don’t think those people should be thought down upon because they see things differently. A gift is a gift….once you give it away, it is theirs to do as they please. Or are YOU giving it for another reason than just being generous…what are you really looking for in return?….. give created gift to charities…vets, hospitals, senior homes, homeless shelters…..where they will mostly likely be appreciated 😊

I see now how blessed I am, I do horrible crochet, but my relatives and friends are so happy when they receive my wonky/wobbly pieces 😂 I also do artwork, they do display it for a few years and some of them keep them displayed after that, some not, but I totally understand that wall art can be tiring, specially if they are very colourful /strong! Myself I love handmade things, but I definitely do not like some things that are gifted to me, but I do wear them when the gifter comes over.

I find it rude when someone takes your gift and redoes it or part of it! I find things like newly made afghans at goodwill and I consider them treasures. I have a regifter in the family. I dunno, maybe if a person gets something they can't use if they just owned up. I'm not sure would that be better? I appreciate that you brought this up it has been a sore spot for years! You can always make things with donating to a shelter or a pet shelter instead and feel totally happy. Cats love tiny afghans. Dogs not so much. Local police have teddy bears they give to an upset kiddo. And older person might like a lap size afghan. You put you heart and soul into anything you make with you hands. So don't give up, just change your receiver! Thank you so much!

Ummmm No. I’ll never stop. I’ve been crocheting for 55 years.

I have grown to love rich brown shades 🤎

Regarding somebody not appreciating what you made: I remember I knitted a sweater for my boyfriend, when I was 18. It was made of a very expensive, precious yarn and it took a heck of a time to plan and make it. He took it, saying: "Oh my ex-girfriend once made me one - it got longer and longer, hahaha". I told him that he has to wash it carefully and not hang-dry it, but lay it out on a surface. A few months later I discovered the sweater in his house. Hanging with its neckline on a hook(!) in the bathroom, buried beneath other worn clothes of his siblings. Many inches longer than before. I almost cried and I never made just a single thing for him again. He is an ex now, I married another man. ;)

I'm sorry, but I WOULD have reminded them that you had already filled that request a year ago...I would have asked them what they had done with it, and if they still had it, then I would ask them to find it and use it, and to think twice before requesting something to be made again...

Gifts are for the giver, not the recipient.

I had a family member open my gift of a hat once. "Pretty, but, I'm not a hat person. I wear scarves." Someone could've just said thank you and regifted it later without dissing me like I should've known, 🫤

I have been through the wringer with all of the scenarios, more than once. I cried more than once over this. I once made a hand embroidered wedding pillow, my hands bled over making that gorgeous pillow… it was thrown in the basement, there was a flood, and then it went in the trash. And on, and on… I don’t make anyone anything anymore, unless they ask, and I don’t always say yes. I make things For Me now, I create, and keep.

I made a scrap yarn blanket for my dog (my precious daughter, my baby) and she's the only one that's ever rejected one of my gifts. Like, actively avoids the blanket. I'm ashamed to say I got offended! But then my mom's doggy loved it, he lies on it and makes a point of looking at me and wagging his little tail as if saying thank you when he sees me come around.

All your work is beautiful

Not me watching this while fighting for my life to finish a blanket 🤣🤣

I only make things for people that are suuuuuper close to me. My small circle of best friends, and my boyfriend, all have received handmade gifts, and they all love them. I have to know they’ll like it before I make it. But all of my friends are creators or crafters, so they all understand the time and effort put into it. I’m lucky, I feel. I refuse to gift things just because most people DO NOT understand the time and effort, but that’s ok for me, because I prefer making things for myself anyhow. :3 I WILL share my self-drafted patterns with my friends tho, so they can make their own version of my thing. :)

$4 for crochet blankets? That’s a steal where I live, I never come across any handmade items in thrift stores in my city. I definitely have to go into a different town for a bigger selection of yarn and fiber art items.

I only crochet/craft quick gifts for people if I don’t know them well/am worried they may give it away. Longer gifts I will ALWAYS ask and have a verbal agreement that they have to keep the stuff lol. They also get input in the project which I think helps to make sure it’s something they will like and keep! ESPECIALLY cross stitch gifts. If i make someone a cross stitch gift they better keep it for life or i’ll be pissed lol

Several years ago I spent a lot of time knitting a scarf for my stepdaughter in her favorite color. About a year later I saw the scarf on the table at her yard sale. I walked away & left it on the table. That being said I have never made anything else for her. I just give her gift cards for restaurants.

All hard feelings(!), and I GET IT! I think that this is a really unique video (at least, *I haven't seen any creators talking about the difficult feelings around 'makes' &/or 'gifting')! So, THANK YOU!...ya' don't have to have all the answers, to bring this to the table, and (what you brought out) is so relatable. ...I wonder how common these feelings are! ..."Anyone???" Anywayyyy, thank you!😉 ...and "well done!"

I could not reject a homemade gift in anyway. As a crocheter, even if I hated it, I’d still be so appreciative. I know the time it takes, and wow this person thought of me!

This is so true. I especially resonate with - “once you gift it, you can’t control what happens to it”, and “don’t let someone else steal your joy from the craft”. So important to remember!!

Some people don’t like crocheted things because they are a certain look that some people don’t like that look. I like the look of knitted things but I made some and I knitted them too tight and made them way too heavy. Handcrafted items are not well received by everyone. I made clothing for my daughter out of necessity while she was growing up because my husband expected her to wear cheap clothes, I tried very hard to make them attractive but she hated it because it was homemade. I learned to stop doing it when she was earning her own money. I let her buy what she wants. If you made me a hat it would have to be below zero and if I had to walk outside before you would see me wearing it. You need to make baby things that you can donate to a mother-baby center or do something for a hospice center like lap blankets. I never wear a hat and I like plush lined leather gloves in the winter to drive with. I wear tank tops and jeans in the winter, I don’t even own a cardigan. If I was a family member I would be on your naughty list, I wouldn’t be rejecting you if you made me something and I didn’t wear it. I would feel bad if you got your feelings hurt but I can’t get my head hot or I get really bad migraine headaches so I don’t wear hats.

Great topic! Usually when I gift my crocheted items, I tell the recipient to please give it away and donate it if they don’t want it. I just want someone to enjoy it! Usually when I gift what I make, I use yarn that didn’t cost much (I shop clearance sales and thrift shops). The good yarn I save for ME 😁🧶😁! I like the process of crocheting and I have ALOT of yarn to get through, so I gift things I make OFTEN. I have given almost everybody’s pregnant relative a baby blanket 😅. Sometimes it’s received with genuine love and gratitude and sometimes I don’t get a thank you 🤷🏽‍♀️. But I gained a lot of joy from making it!

I love how you responded to this.

Great topic! Usually when I gift my crocheted items, I tell the recipient to please give it away and donate it if they don’t want it. I just want someone to enjoy it! Usually when I gift what I make, I use yarn that didn’t cost much (I shop clearance sales and thrift shops). The good yarn I save for ME 😁🧶😁! I like the process of crocheting and I have ALOT of yarn to get through, so I gift things I make OFTEN. I have given almost everybody’s pregnant relative a baby blanket 😅. Sometimes it’s received with genuine love and gratitude and sometimes I don’t get a thank you 🤷🏽‍♀️. But I gained a lot of joy from making it!

Every year I make some things and decide what organization or person to give them to who might know of people who would like them. So far, it has worked out quite well. I hardly ever knit for myself, which is strange. It gives me joy if I hear from that person that they gave something I made to someone else and they loved it.❤

A wise woman once told me to only make handmade gifts for people who COULD make it themselves. She said those are the only people who will truly appreciate it. I used to make all the (extended) family Christmas gifts, because I really couldn’t afford anything else. I heard through the grapevine that some family members didn’t like that. The next year, I used up a lot of single skeins making small projects like slippers, hats, headbands, scarves, etc. I made more items than I needed, put them in a big basket, and invited everyone to take one thing. It was such a hit, and people took things I never would have chosen for them. One college age girl took a hat that she wore the rest of the day, and I learned later that she wore it everywhere and loved it. That one hat made all my time knitting worth it! A friend of mine inherited two gorgeous wholecloth quilts, made by her great-grandmother, and in pristine condition. She took them to an appraiser who said they were worth at least $1500 each. She decided to keep one, and gave the other as a wedding gift to her favorite niece. Months after the wedding, she visited the niece and her husband. As she was leaving, she noticed the dog bed in the corner, and there, neatly folded in the dog bed, was her great-grandmother’s $1500 quilt. Some people don’t value handmade.

I crochet for a charity which calls for newborn baby blankets and clothing.

You are right. I now talk wiith the recipient before starting a project. I put a lot of myself, not to mention time and money, into making a scrapbook for a daughter. She flipped through it, said "that's nice" and set it on a closet shelf. 😢

Thank you for making this video and to everyone else who commented about their own experience it really helped me feel less a lone about my own experience.

My mother rejected one of my first granny big square Afghans because she said she didn’t like the material acrylic. It was all her favorite colors purple. That woman has been dead since 2007 and it still hurts. I’m so sorry. I have been learning who to gift and who not to and what is worthy of a gift. I’m so hard on myself.

This isn't really on topic but the same emotions I had. I made a kitten couch for my best friend a few years back. Not working on it everyday but it took me about 2 months of love to finish. I told her DO NOT WASH IT in the washing machine. It needs to be handwashed when needed. Her cat peed on it.....AND what did she do???? IN the WASHING machine it went. Needless to say all of my work ended up in what she called "A BIG BALL". I was gutted. Just thought I would share 🙂

I make things for people I know will use them, if I see that what I make a person is not used ever or set aside to collect dust I won’t make them anything again.

It was xmas and i made xmas stockings for everyone in the family. Not only did i not get a thank you but i saw pictures where the kids wore them on their feet running thru muck and mud. It took over four hours per stocking to complete the applique work. I was hurt by the disrespect shown for my hard work and that i wasted time i will never get back. I am far more selective in who i give any of my art to.

I am 74 years old and have been crocheting since I was a child. I also have been gifted dozens of afghans, sweaters, quilts etc. I have always loved these gifts and use them usually for a couple of years. But if I keep everything that has been gifted to me I would need a warehouse to store it all in. So yes, I donate to thrift shops knowing someone will be able to enjoy it for a slim price. I do have some things that I will not part with ever like a quilt made by my grandmother. Also when you see those beautiful shawls etc in a thrift shop, know that they were probably loved dearly by someone and maybe that someone has passed and these things were left behind and donated. Not all things you see in the thrift shops were rejected. When I give a gift it is no longer mine, It is for someone to use or re-gift or whatever. If they re-gift it, that means they wanted to give someone something special that maybe they could not make themselves or couldn't afford to buy. I do re-gift things and love handing things over to be loved even more by someone else. Just my old lady thoughts,

I think of the song "My Love is Mine" by Mitski. "Nothing in the world belongs to me but my love is mine all mine" - I give handmade gifts as an expression of my love. What the recipient does with it afterwards says nothing about me and I get to keep the love I've given. Not saying it doesn't hurt that some recipients truly treasure their gifts while others totally disregard them. But it helps with that rejection feeling.

I was asked to help make baby blankets for the church so that parents could pick one out when their baby was baptized. I was happy when the gal came to pick up more of my blankets, and told me all of mine were gone. I guess I didn't really think about anyone rejecting something I've made. I don't do wild colors. I've only had a few crocheted items that were gifted to me, but I kept them even though I didn't care for them. I'm crocheting chemo caps right now, but they're gonna be given for winter hats. I have a daughter and grandson who both are dealing with cancer, and was prewarned not to use scratchy yarn in making a chemo hat for a bald head. Yarn hats in the hot summer don't work either. I also realized that I wasn't making anything for myself, so I've changed that now. I know what I want and like, so I've now made a few things just for me to wear.

I made a black white n gray twin sized granny blanket for a neighbor. It sits folded up in on his shelf in his bedroom closet!

I think I would have bought all those afghans would have come with me!

You're a better person than me I would not have started a fight - but I would have said " yea, no. I made you one already, don't you remember?" Gift that you want to gift and let it go. Keep in mind how much you value that person and how long your work is going to take you. Don't feel bad saying no

People don't realize and/or don't care how much work it takes to make any project. Sad to say rejection in general hurts but if I put hours of work and was rejected, they don't get another loving gift from me. Sounds mean but I'd rather put my love toward people who are generally grateful. But it is understandable that people spring clean and living minimally is becoming popular especially when moving to another state. You will rid things you haven't used or seen in years. What I keep is the projects my kids made in their school days. My oldest daughter is 42, and I still have a cup she made in elementary.

If I were to get dementia (God forbid) so that I can no longer follow a pattern, or if I suddenly go blind, then maybe. Otherwise, nope.

I never make anything for anyone without the recipient’s consent. My daughter -of the Goth persuation- was gifted a single stitch crochet black blanket with a tan strip in the middle. UGLY. I love doing intricate, artistic and stricking crochet pieces, be it in fine thread or yarn, so I asked her if I could use the yarn in that blanket to make something much nicer. She said ‘ok’, so I picked a granny square in black and white that looks beautiful and elegant, she loves it and I’m working on it at this time. A friend offered me a blanket she dislikes and someone made for her in a support group. I’ll take it and plan on crocheting something for my friend in the colors and style she chooses, so she still has a blanket to use. I do the same with year round gifts, I ask people if they have a wish list and if they don’t, what’s their fav store or restaurant and purchase a gift card. No money/time wasted and everyone ends up happy.

I have never actually experienced the rejection knowingly. I looked onto the person; their needs, their favorite colors; etc...kind of lije tou do. I. Have, I got letters back from oarents of people I knew (the parents were the recipients), saying hiw owedect the gift was and how they were using it. It is sad knowing that many people don't see the value of handmade things.

I'm currently making afghans for family members and friends. I know these people appreciate and will care that i made these for them. I've already given some and am making others. I make scarves to donate to homeless shelters and want to make beanies also. Salvation Army takes donations to hold for families that get burned out or storm damage and these people appreciate usually in these circumstances.

I stopped frequently gifting a while back due to having a large family and others crochet within the family. Once it is out of my hands, I have no control over the piece so I learned how to detach from it. Is heartbreaking seeing something you’ve worked hard on, not taken well care of. What Drives me up the wall is when a friend/ family member ask you to make something for them and said they will pay you. You make it, let them know it’s complete and they never buy it. Learned my lesson on that one. Now I ask for whatever the price may be to cover materials