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Crumpet Sounds
United Kingdom
Registrace 1. 09. 2007
Hey there you absolute specimen of humanity. My name is John, though you'll more usually find me affecting the persona of Phlegm Crevice, deity and overall terrible Dwarf Fortress player. I'm here mainly because my wife and kids begged me to find other people to tell my terrible jokes to and you wonderful people fit the bill. That is to say, you have eyes and ears. Currently, I'm doing this as a hobby, but I'm hoping to maybe turn it into a proper job so I can embarrass my children before a wider audience.
Funny Dwarf Fortress Stories - We Unleash the Devil - Hammerlock 15
“Gorroth” means Disemboweler…
Snod’s gone again, off to the Spell-o-lympics with his Kobolds, this’ left Graham with a lot of time on his massive hands. Time that he’s using to humbug Phlegm. That’s ok, our deity is nothing if not accommodating!
In Hammerlock then, we get to learn a disgusting piece of information about Hammerfist’s preferences. We hear the thing Kogan can do with his face hole. We annoy the goblins with a couple of raids -one of which with disastrous results- and fend off a siege. There’s insectoid beasts, a questionable mitten, Betha being useless and Bumis evading capture. Tell me, what more could you want from a Crumpet Sounds episode?
No, honestly, tell me. How on Destiny am I supposed to grow this channel if I get no feedback?
Then just up down up down left left left B B A B,
For Hammerlock!
#dwarffortress #dwarffortresssteam #dwarffortressstories
Welcome to Crumpet Sounds, where we bring you the greatest stories ever told...or at least the greatest stories we can find! Our team of expert storytellers digs deep to uncover new narratives that will capture your imagination and leave you wanting more. And if you're a fan of Dwarf Fortress, well, we've got you covered there too. Join us on this epic journey as we explore the vast world of storytelling and bring our discoveries straight to your screen. Don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss a moment of the action! Full steam ahead on this Dwarf Fortress Playthrough with unique narrative gameplay.
Let’s play!
🔗 Links & Resources:
Get in touch- mail@crumpetsounds.com
Instagram: [crumpetsounds]
Discord: discord.gg/QGZ7XWfnew
I also sometimes post on Patreon: [www.patreon.com/CrumpetSounds]
If you're just joining us, you can find Hammerlock Episode One here: czcams.com/video/-El3Cxz3X80/video.html
And for the full playlist of Hammerlock please check here: czcams.com/play/PL3oVBD7H-F_oeH52c5tgqBOquq5Dm6yyb.html
📢 Music gathered from Epidemic Sounds:
Even Gold Can Rust (Instrumental Version) - Penny Rush
Footprints in the Sand (Instrumental Version) - Roots and Recognition
Headline (Instrumental Version) - Wildflowers
I Found You Now (Instrumental Version) - Candelion
Out in the Mud - Roy Edwin Williams
Riding High on the Wind - Will Harrison
Sabertooth - Ballpoint
Spread Your Wings - Victor Lundberg
Tractor Trails - Will Harrison
Trick Shot Trap - Bonkers Beat Club
Witchcraft for the Ages - Eden Avery
Snod’s gone again, off to the Spell-o-lympics with his Kobolds, this’ left Graham with a lot of time on his massive hands. Time that he’s using to humbug Phlegm. That’s ok, our deity is nothing if not accommodating!
In Hammerlock then, we get to learn a disgusting piece of information about Hammerfist’s preferences. We hear the thing Kogan can do with his face hole. We annoy the goblins with a couple of raids -one of which with disastrous results- and fend off a siege. There’s insectoid beasts, a questionable mitten, Betha being useless and Bumis evading capture. Tell me, what more could you want from a Crumpet Sounds episode?
No, honestly, tell me. How on Destiny am I supposed to grow this channel if I get no feedback?
Then just up down up down left left left B B A B,
For Hammerlock!
#dwarffortress #dwarffortresssteam #dwarffortressstories
Welcome to Crumpet Sounds, where we bring you the greatest stories ever told...or at least the greatest stories we can find! Our team of expert storytellers digs deep to uncover new narratives that will capture your imagination and leave you wanting more. And if you're a fan of Dwarf Fortress, well, we've got you covered there too. Join us on this epic journey as we explore the vast world of storytelling and bring our discoveries straight to your screen. Don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss a moment of the action! Full steam ahead on this Dwarf Fortress Playthrough with unique narrative gameplay.
Let’s play!
🔗 Links & Resources:
Get in touch- mail@crumpetsounds.com
Instagram: [crumpetsounds]
Discord: discord.gg/QGZ7XWfnew
I also sometimes post on Patreon: [www.patreon.com/CrumpetSounds]
If you're just joining us, you can find Hammerlock Episode One here: czcams.com/video/-El3Cxz3X80/video.html
And for the full playlist of Hammerlock please check here: czcams.com/play/PL3oVBD7H-F_oeH52c5tgqBOquq5Dm6yyb.html
📢 Music gathered from Epidemic Sounds:
Even Gold Can Rust (Instrumental Version) - Penny Rush
Footprints in the Sand (Instrumental Version) - Roots and Recognition
Headline (Instrumental Version) - Wildflowers
I Found You Now (Instrumental Version) - Candelion
Out in the Mud - Roy Edwin Williams
Riding High on the Wind - Will Harrison
Sabertooth - Ballpoint
Spread Your Wings - Victor Lundberg
Tractor Trails - Will Harrison
Trick Shot Trap - Bonkers Beat Club
Witchcraft for the Ages - Eden Avery
zhlédnutí: 709
Video
Dwarf Fortress Stories - The Fall of Channelglazes - A Supercut
zhlédnutí 393Před dnem
Join us on a hilarious Dwarf Fortress escapade as our brave (and slightly misguided) dwarves embark on the ultimate challenge: constructing a glass fortress in the middle of a blistering desert! Watch the madness unfold as they tackle outrageous obstacles and face comical disasters: A glass-floored tavern that seemed genius until you could see everyone's underpants! 🩳🍻 A breeding program for hu...
Where’s its skin!? - Let's Play Dwarf Fortress ~ Hammerlock Episode 14
zhlédnutí 409Před 14 dny
I just want to tell you how I’m feeling. Snod’s got places to be, where? Nobody knows. But he’s left Garlic-breath Sweetheart behind to practice his Common. Phlegm’s got enough on his hands with goblin sieges, rotting food, overworked old ladies and new squads accidentally named after humorous anatomy. Nothing a little overweight alligator won’t help with! Or maybe a body snatching sea worm? So...
Dwarf Fortress Stories - The Tale of Laborlured - A Supercut
zhlédnutí 1KPřed 21 dnem
Welcome, fellow adventurers, to the inaugural episode of our epic Dwarf Fortress Let's Play series! Meet Phlegmothy Crevice, a deity like no other. Not just any god-an "Oh God"-the kind that makes you say, "Oh God, no, please not him." He's taken it upon himself to create a world of dwarves, and through the legendary game of Dwarf Fortress, he's here to share the tale of Laborlured. Journey wit...
Repairing Zomboid | Funny Project Zomboid Gameplay | Repairman Saves Kentucky
zhlédnutí 148Před 21 dnem
A mild mannered Welsh Repairman in Project Zomboid. This is Episode 1 in a new series where we watch Godly Narrator Phlegm Crevice torture poor unfortunate souls using zombies! Except of course Phlegm has already got it wrong. Hugh Evans might be a vicious murderer who does bad things to cereal- but Huw Evans is a lovely man who wouldn’t hurt a fly- though he’ll happily smash some Zombies! Watc...
Bare Back Boxing - Let's Play Dwarf Fortress ~ Hammerlock Episode 13
zhlédnutí 323Před měsícem
Look at all the babies! Phlegm’s alone again, this time because John’s too sick to be more than two people. If you want it cannonically, let’s say Snod and Gainsboro went out for icecream. We’re done fighting humans, it’s beyond time for us to fight the dwarfs natural enemy- sunlight! Oh ok we’ll annoy the goblins. The Dimension of Destiny is pretty short on the green boys though so it’s a trek...
Forgotten Beasts and Where to- Yuck - Let's Play Dwarf Fortress ~ Hammerlock Episode 12
zhlédnutí 278Před měsícem
Somebody grab a tissue! Not that this one’s sad. Unless you feel any great emotions for the wasting of copious amounts of cheese anyway. Phlegmothy’s brother Mucustus (parents am I right?) is coming to visit and wouldn’t you know it’s just after the workmen have been. Family can be so inconvenient. We finally get to see the finished (sort of) library tower, “Innuendo Heights”, just need to fill...
Slippery Human Adventure Funland - Let's Play Dwarf Fortress ~ Hammerlock Episode 11
zhlédnutí 562Před měsícem
Wurbly Burbly Bread. The boys are back in house! They’re working though so all you’ll hear is griping and moaning. Phlegm doesn’t care, because it has no brain, but Phlegmothy Crevice does because it’s his carpet they keep ruining. It seems the humans have been subdued because we’ve no sieges to share - hooray - but Betha comes back, so swings and roundabouts. We’ve more Ettin fun, that turns o...
Lonely Gods in your area - Funny Dwarf Fortress Stories - Hammerlock 10
zhlédnutí 492Před 2 měsíci
Blrblrblrblrblrblrblr. Phlegmothy M. Crevice, diety of supreme cosmic ability; is lonely. Snod’s teaching Kobolds what a superlative is and Graham- that is, Gainsboro- is busy being scenery, so Phlegm’s all on his own. Not too bad when you can have conversations with your future self, unless that future self is actually Phlegm. Can you imagine? At least he deals with the human problem. Maybe. Y...
Humans in the Hollowhill - Let's Play Dwarf Fortress ~ Hammerlock Episode 9
zhlédnutí 396Před 2 měsíci
When the slap hits just right. Phlegm is child sitting Graham’s nephew Cardinal and if you thought that would be straightforward then you’ve definitely never seen one of these episodes before. We’ve got another five beasts, Llama versus Worm goes exactly the way you’d expect, given the worm has a flamethrower and nobody has seen the baron in a while. Then the humans attack. This is becoming som...
Forgotten Beast Battle Arena - Funny Dwarf Fortress Stories - Hammerlock 8
zhlédnutí 269Před 3 měsíci
Forgotten Beast Battle Arena - Funny Dwarf Fortress Stories - Hammerlock 8
Let’s Hate Clowns - Let's Play Dwarf Fortress ~ Hammerlock Episode 7
zhlédnutí 392Před 3 měsíci
Let’s Hate Clowns - Let's Play Dwarf Fortress ~ Hammerlock Episode 7
Beards but not where you want them - Funny Dwarf Fortress Stories ~ Hammerlock 6
zhlédnutí 446Před 4 měsíci
Beards but not where you want them - Funny Dwarf Fortress Stories ~ Hammerlock 6
Forgotten Beast Baron - Let's Play Dwarf Fortress ~ Hammerlock 5
zhlédnutí 371Před 4 měsíci
Forgotten Beast Baron - Let's Play Dwarf Fortress ~ Hammerlock 5
The Siege of Hammerlock: A Dwarven Epic - Funny Dwarf Fortress Stories - Hammerlock 4
zhlédnutí 451Před 5 měsíci
The Siege of Hammerlock: A Dwarven Epic - Funny Dwarf Fortress Stories - Hammerlock 4
Dwarf Fortress Tutorials - Just the Tip for Rocks
zhlédnutí 177Před 5 měsíci
Dwarf Fortress Tutorials - Just the Tip for Rocks
Thrips-Woman Theme tune! She can do stuff to leaves!
zhlédnutí 65Před 5 měsíci
Thrips-Woman Theme tune! She can do stuff to leaves!
Raiding is the opposite of mining - Dwarf Fortress Stories ~ Hammerlock 3
zhlédnutí 399Před 5 měsíci
Raiding is the opposite of mining - Dwarf Fortress Stories ~ Hammerlock 3
Dwarf Fortress Tutorials - Just the Tip for Atom Smashers
zhlédnutí 123Před 5 měsíci
Dwarf Fortress Tutorials - Just the Tip for Atom Smashers
Fascist in a Strange Mood - Let's Play Dwarf Fortress - Hammerlock 2
zhlédnutí 724Před 6 měsíci
Fascist in a Strange Mood - Let's Play Dwarf Fortress - Hammerlock 2
Dwarf Fortress Tutorials - Just the Tip for Stairs
zhlédnutí 228Před 6 měsíci
Dwarf Fortress Tutorials - Just the Tip for Stairs
Can you say Hollow Hill? - Dwarf Fortress Stories - Hammerlock 1
zhlédnutí 2,2KPřed 6 měsíci
Can you say Hollow Hill? - Dwarf Fortress Stories - Hammerlock 1
Dwarf Fortress Tutorials - Just the Tip for Quantum Stockpiles
zhlédnutí 866Před 6 měsíci
Dwarf Fortress Tutorials - Just the Tip for Quantum Stockpiles
Dwarf Fortress Stories ~ The World’s First Christmasn’t
zhlédnutí 382Před 7 měsíci
Dwarf Fortress Stories ~ The World’s First Christmasn’t
Let's Play Dwarf Fortress ~ Forgotten Beast Busses - Channelglazes 9
zhlédnutí 317Před 7 měsíci
Let's Play Dwarf Fortress ~ Forgotten Beast Busses - Channelglazes 9
Funny Dwarf Fortress Stories ~ How not to Minecarts - Channelglazes 8
zhlédnutí 331Před 7 měsíci
Funny Dwarf Fortress Stories ~ How not to Minecarts - Channelglazes 8
Let's Play Dwarf Fortress ~ All Hail the Vultures - Channelglazes 7
zhlédnutí 252Před 8 měsíci
Let's Play Dwarf Fortress ~ All Hail the Vultures - Channelglazes 7
Funny Dwarf Fortress Stories ~ A Worcestershire Sauce Halloween - Channelglazes 6
zhlédnutí 295Před 8 měsíci
Funny Dwarf Fortress Stories ~ A Worcestershire Sauce Halloween - Channelglazes 6
Let's Play Dwarf Fortress ~ Trading Din’go Well - Channelglazes 5
zhlédnutí 277Před 9 měsíci
Let's Play Dwarf Fortress ~ Trading Din’go Well - Channelglazes 5
Dwarf Shortress - The lament of the fair maid
zhlédnutí 96Před 9 měsíci
Dwarf Shortress - The lament of the fair maid
My word, you are even more british sounding than I.
@@EcclesiastesLiker-py5ts that'd be the being British XD
Its been great fun watching your Dwarf Fortress videos. Kudos on your imagination and performances, never enough voices ! ^^
@@Diarmuhnd haha well that's why I love doing this so much, I get to use all my weird talents 😅
Liked it all, even the mucus ^^ Thanks for the fun
@@Diarmuhnd you're very welcome!
Haha, every Dwarf feels good knowing that a nice strong stone tomb awaits them. ^^ Really like the art from family & friends and others. Nice touch
@@Diarmuhnd just my kids, they love supporting me 😀
@@crumpetsounds very good artists, they already have talent.
I really like all the comedy and extras. Thanks for sharing the fun.
@@Diarmuhnd it's fun for me too, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
That was a cool spider ... ash smudge. ^^
@Diarmuhnd it helps that I keep Tarantulas. I have some great references
Nice time lapse art
Haha, if only we had a bunch of dorf's to do our RL home renos. :) edit: the Dragon drawing at the end was awesome ! Kudos to your budding artist.
Speak for yourself, I have many :D
Poetry !
You know there's only 15 of these right? XD
Cheers !
You're an absolute Diarmuhnd!
Good thing it wasn't left unplugged.
Much obliged ;D You're making your way through Hammerlock at one hell of a rate! If you're feeling in a festive mood when you're done, I have a Christmas themed episode called Slapgland that I do some singing in! Not sure why I'd think that's a selling point XD
@@crumpetsounds binging on a Saturday in between garden & kitchen work, feels good to squeeze in some gaming.
Diggy diggy hole !
Cheers Alexis Toran and Crumpet Sounds
@@Diarmuhnd they do great work!
- sings - "DIggy Diggy Hole ! No creature to fierce to keep me from my Diggy diggy hole!" (ps: i know I changed lyrics, i'm practicing my composing skill for DF adventure mode)
@@Diarmuhnd adventure mode is getting exciting, right?
@@crumpetsounds yarp, been with DF for a long time, i know how slow it can go. At least they got Putnam onboard now also. :)
Good stuff and fun to watch :) Going back in time to watch the episodes I missed. Just leaving this comment because the Algo always needs it.
@Diarmuhnd no way that's so kind of you, thank you! The world needs more subs like you. Or I do anyway 😆
"Retaliation from the mouse" sounds like you just picked a copyright fight with Disney.
@@alexistoran2181 it was a real fight with myself not to do Mickey stuff tbh. Future plans! 😆
Goblins have socks that are particularly well suited fer long toenails
@@philjohnson1744 I need a diagram
My day has been blessed
Phlegm's blessing is a LOT stickier than most deities.
You have The Phantom of the Opera in your Dwarf Fortress! Lucky! XD
Shush! Nobody nose!
@@crumpetsounds 🤣🤣 Oh that was nicely done, bravo!
*Thanks for sharing your comedic Dwarf Fortress shenanigans with us.* Laughs are fun
@Diarmuhnd it's my pleasure! I hope you enjoy Hammerlock too :D
I like Dwarf Fortress stories, I miss DF stories like these. *Thanks for all the work sharing the fun in DF, you definitely more than earned a sub from me.*
Thank you so much, it means a lot to me to be able to show off how crazy this game is and have it be enjoyed. I shall endeavour to continue!
Ah yes, more fresh content that i have not previously binge watched! Excellent.
Binge away! I'd do the next supercut but the series is still underway... future plans!
@@crumpetsounds I thought of you this morning! Guess what I had for breakfast.
@@BPL-Whipster I'm sure I'm going to kick myself, but what?
@@BPL-Whipster CRUMPETS!
@@BPL-Whipster what sound did they make? 😆
This is completely unhinged
@@misterpopoman9180 I'm taking that as a compliment!
Intense compliments for intense fishing
@misterpopoman9180 I remember putting that together and thinking "why the hell did I record two minutes of a dwarf stood by a lake doing nothing. What the hell am I going to do with this?" Intense fishing was inevitable 😆
I’m all for dwarf fortress stories! Count me in.
@@anoobplays386 awesome! Enjoy the fun 😁
You are criminally underrated
@50_foot_punch99 thanks! But really I'm just new, who knows what a few years will do 😀
I've just been thinking about getting into glassworks in my current fortress. Buying bags of sand and getting my metal processing underway first. I just don't know what to do with it, what you *can* do with it, once I've made it.
@@mikeymidnite7685 you can build sort of see-through flooring! And you can make instruments out of it... and that's as much as I know lol
I cannot imagine how long it must have taken to process this video.
@henrisummers6694 not as long as you'd think, like three-four hours? Got to be done though, sextupled subscriber count since Channelglazes! Great to see you here btw 🙌
I could go and get my kids from school. But I’ve forgotten what happened in Channelglazes so I guess they’re there for the weekend whilst I settle in. 💪🏻
@Effriley you made the right choice
Aaaa, another video that I can fall asleep to.
@w0rldTraveler337 nothing like phlegm in your ears as you sleep!
It sounds like a good thing until you find out he listens while he drives to work! 🤭
@@TheGrinningViking Crumpetsounds accepts no liability for anybody lulled into gentle slumber by my dulcet tones and violently unalived.
a epic video perfect second monitor viewing whilst dwarf wrangling or in my case osrs woodcutting......
@@Rancyide summat about having it all in one video right?
@@crumpetsounds who needs playlists when theres supercuts!
@Rancyide catching those sleep views yo 😴 👌
Nice, thanks for the supercut ! 2.5 hours of dwarfy idiocy is what i need today.
@KrabyLaFourchette you're welcome! I had less than 100 subs when Channelglazes began so I figure most won't have seen it lol
We need to know what Nerom's kill count is up to ..
@hi_its_kim I'll check legends mode for next episode!
@@crumpetsounds I think it might also be in one of its tabs (military maybe?)
@@hi_its_kim not anymore... 😆
@@crumpetsounds 🤣of course it isn't..
Man 😢
In case I forgot to say it before, I love that it's the camouflaged college. And that it's full of orangutan.
In Spanish yer staffing for hauling would be 'un Dur' par.
Not anymore!
YAAAAAAAAYYY!!!
@@w0rldTraveler337 love the excitement! 😆
good morning my dear demigod! epic video once again!
@@Rancyide DEMIgod? I'm offended :D
@@crumpetsounds i was sure there was a bit of dwarf in your bloodlines thats the last time i snoop using godsreunited...
That beast is something else? Do you think he was embarrassed? Like those dreams where you’ve forgotten to get dressed? 😅
Yes, it "forgot" XD
Really great narrating! your vocabulary is very broad and helps you greatly in your storytelliing!
@@DeismaGames thanks! I pride myself on my vocabulary 😀
What a treat, ive got over 1000 hours in this beautiful story simulator. Im starting to think we have similar taste in games lol. Next your going to tell me about your adventures in kenshi. Regardless sorry for the long comment just wanted to say i love this.
I've been known to raid a beak thing nest or two in my day ;D I'd be lying if I said I hadn't contemplated unleashing Phlegm on Kenshi, there's always time!
Gotta find time to watch this ≡«☼Video☼»≡ ! Thanks you.
@@KrabyLaFourchette stick it on in the background and listen as my audio gets slowly better 😆
I love it
@w0rldTraveler337 thank you! This was our first foray into Dwarf Fortress, we go from strength to strength!
This sure does seem familiar....
@@philjohnson1744 loving Crumpetsounds content? I should hope so!
But it's Friday night and I...I had stuff...and....guess I'm cancelling and getting snacks.
@@Effriley share!
i have no idea how but this games in my steam library but have been a purchase made whilst under the influence of my pain kiillers you make it look good gotta give it a go.
It is, VERY good. They're working on a big update soon...ish... within a year maybe lol. Very excited for that!
TWO Crumpet Sounds? Luxury.
If you didn't watch Laborlured then certainly! But if you didn't watch Laborlured then SHAME. SHAAAAAAAAAAME XD
@@crumpetsounds I've watched all your content, but it still counts. It's a new upload!
@BPL-Whipster oh well then shame removed! New episode is still on track though, no worries 😀
Coffee and a Crumpet Sounds epic length video perfection once again just as enjoyable second time round!.
Haha, been meaning to Supercut this and Channelglazes for a while. Just easier to have it all in one place for people :D
"oh no, my dwarves might be a bit more gassy. however will i tell. :|" - I do love me some dry humor! :) THE BIRD. THE BODY BEING FLUNG IN SLOW MOTION BACK! :D I love it! Gotta give it to the bird, it's the real plucky sort. :> Ehehe, such a shame we'll never see the cup. Very funny though, excellent cycle of life and death representation! :D Man those sieges are really ramping up aren't they? I was so glad when it went from 'no downsides to trading away the bracelet' to 'no its mine, DIE' :D For 2 to 1 odds, only six dead is surprisingly not bad! The music for Risemi's entrance is so great. :D I was honestly hoping for more of a fight, completely forgetting for a moment how uh, structurally unsound blobs of filth tend to be. Honestly all of the beasts' entrance musics are great. I'd want a giant crab for valentines! That's gotta be good eating! :D ...I don't know what to make about the conversation with the gnome-appreciator. I love how confused it makes everyone. > Orangutan in the library. I can't wait until she becomes your new librarian. :> Dang that's a nice bridge! Also a very exciting library/walled courtyard! Thanks for the episode! It's delightful all the way through! :D
Holy moly what a comment! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much!
This Hammerdwarf must be near a necromancer tower.
I can always rely on you Phil XD
Nice Would you consider trying Cataclysm: Dark Days Ahead? It's something that would be right up your street~
I've got it installed! It's about learning how to "see" the game y'know? Like old DF. Just need to sit down and do it really
@crumpetsounds be sure to share it with us, use your learning curve as the survivors narrative. Possibly an amnesiac~
@@DonzaDJN OMG that sounds horrendous, I love it XD