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Dr. Kiki Fehling
United States
Registrace 19. 10. 2022
I'm Kiki Fehling, a licensed psychologist, author, and expert in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). This channel is where I'll share mental health tips and tools from DBT and beyond.
DBT is a therapy that focuses on improving emotional wellbeing and building a Life Worth Living-a life full of joy, meaning, and fulfillment. To help towards this goal, DBT offers a TON of coping skills in the areas of mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness. After witnessing the power of DBT skills in my own life and the lives of my clients, I decided to get onto social media in order to share DBT skills with as many people as possible.
I want to challenge stigmas, and provide accurate information about my specialties: emotion dysregulation, emotional sensitivity, borderline personality disorder, self-harm, trauma / PTSD, and LGBTQ mental health. This channel is a part of that mission. I hope that my videos help you build your Life Worth Living!
DBT is a therapy that focuses on improving emotional wellbeing and building a Life Worth Living-a life full of joy, meaning, and fulfillment. To help towards this goal, DBT offers a TON of coping skills in the areas of mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness. After witnessing the power of DBT skills in my own life and the lives of my clients, I decided to get onto social media in order to share DBT skills with as many people as possible.
I want to challenge stigmas, and provide accurate information about my specialties: emotion dysregulation, emotional sensitivity, borderline personality disorder, self-harm, trauma / PTSD, and LGBTQ mental health. This channel is a part of that mission. I hope that my videos help you build your Life Worth Living!
Why You Struggle with Emotions (or BPD) - Intro to the Biosocial Theory From DBT
Have trouble managing your emotions? Learn why you may be emotionally sensitive or struggle with impulsive behaviors.
In this video, Dr. Kiki Fehling provides a brief overview of the Biosocial Theory of Emotion Dysregulation (aka, trouble understanding and coping with emotions). The Biosocial Theory comes from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and provides an explanation for why some people struggle so much with intense emotions. It is one theory of how Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and some other mental health diagnoses can develop. Good news: DBT is designed to help people with intense emotions! So, if this theory resonates with you, try checking out DBT!
Learn more: gsapp.rutgers.edu/sites/default/files/2023-10/biosocial_theory.pdf
RESOURCES
Learn more about DBT or Kiki: www.kikifehling.com/resources
Master list of mental health resources: tinyurl.com/dbtkiki-resourcesmaster
Read DBT-related research: tinyurl.com/dbtkiki-research
Kiki’s DBT skills workbook*: tinyurl.com/dbtkiki-book1
*If you’d like to support me, you can purchase my book through this link: amzn.to/3yVB6MF. As an affiliate, I receive a commission on qualifying purchases. I also have recommendations there for other DBT-related books I recommend in my store front: www.amazon.com/shop/dbtkiki. Thank you for your support!
CONNECT with Kiki on other social media:
Facebook drkikifehling/
Instagram dbtkiki
TikTok www.tiktok.com/@dbtkiki
Twitter dbtkiki
This video provides psychoeducational information only. Please talk to a licensed healthcare provider for personalized guidance. See the "Master List" resource above for help finding a therapist.
If you or someone you know is thinking about seriously hurting themself or is otherwise significantly struggling, please go to your nearest emergency room or call 9-8-8 (in the USA) or another helpline (anywhere in the world - findahelpline.com/i/iasp).
VIDEO CHAPTERS
0:00 Introduction
0:38 Emotion Dysregulation
0:58 The "Bio" Part - Emotional Vulnerability
1:37 The "Social" Part - Invalidation
3:15 How The Bio and Social Interact
5:44 Why The Theory Matters
In this video, Dr. Kiki Fehling provides a brief overview of the Biosocial Theory of Emotion Dysregulation (aka, trouble understanding and coping with emotions). The Biosocial Theory comes from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and provides an explanation for why some people struggle so much with intense emotions. It is one theory of how Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and some other mental health diagnoses can develop. Good news: DBT is designed to help people with intense emotions! So, if this theory resonates with you, try checking out DBT!
Learn more: gsapp.rutgers.edu/sites/default/files/2023-10/biosocial_theory.pdf
RESOURCES
Learn more about DBT or Kiki: www.kikifehling.com/resources
Master list of mental health resources: tinyurl.com/dbtkiki-resourcesmaster
Read DBT-related research: tinyurl.com/dbtkiki-research
Kiki’s DBT skills workbook*: tinyurl.com/dbtkiki-book1
*If you’d like to support me, you can purchase my book through this link: amzn.to/3yVB6MF. As an affiliate, I receive a commission on qualifying purchases. I also have recommendations there for other DBT-related books I recommend in my store front: www.amazon.com/shop/dbtkiki. Thank you for your support!
CONNECT with Kiki on other social media:
Facebook drkikifehling/
Instagram dbtkiki
TikTok www.tiktok.com/@dbtkiki
Twitter dbtkiki
This video provides psychoeducational information only. Please talk to a licensed healthcare provider for personalized guidance. See the "Master List" resource above for help finding a therapist.
If you or someone you know is thinking about seriously hurting themself or is otherwise significantly struggling, please go to your nearest emergency room or call 9-8-8 (in the USA) or another helpline (anywhere in the world - findahelpline.com/i/iasp).
VIDEO CHAPTERS
0:00 Introduction
0:38 Emotion Dysregulation
0:58 The "Bio" Part - Emotional Vulnerability
1:37 The "Social" Part - Invalidation
3:15 How The Bio and Social Interact
5:44 Why The Theory Matters
zhlédnutí: 553
Video
Calm Down with Paced Breathing (A DBT TIPP Skill)
zhlédnutí 503Před 5 měsíci
Feeling stressed? Learn how Paced Breathing uses science-backed techniques to help you de-stress or calm down. In this video, Dr. Kiki Fehling teaches the third of the DBT TIPP Skills: Paced Breathing. Kiki covers teaches you about stress breathing, tells you how to practice paced breathing with three specific tips, and then actually practices the skill along with you. Paced breathing is a very...
Manage Stress w/ PMR - a Science-Backed DBT TIPP Skill
zhlédnutí 194Před 6 měsíci
Feeling stressed, panicked, or totally overwhelmed by emotion? Learn how Paired Muscle Relaxation (PMR) can help you de-stress or calm down. In this video, Dr. Kiki Fehling teaches the fourth of the DBT TIPP Skills: PMR. Kiki covers the basics of this distress tolerance skill, tells you how to practice the skill, and then actually practices the skill along with you. Not unique to DBT, and somet...
How to De-Stress with Intense Exercise (DBT TIPP Skill)
zhlédnutí 154Před 6 měsíci
Feeling stressed, panicked, or totally overwhelmed by emotion? Learn how exercise can help you de-stress and calm down really fast! In this video, Dr. Kiki Fehling teaches the second of the DBT TIPP Skills: Intense Exercise. Kiki covers the basics of this evidence-based distress tolerance skill, tells you how to practice the skill, and then actually practices the skill along with you. RESOURCES...
How to Calm Down Fast: DBT TIPP Your Temperature Skill
zhlédnutí 324Před 6 měsíci
Feeling stressed, panicked, or totally overwhelmed by emotion? Learn how you can use cold water to de-stress and calm down really fast. In this video, Dr. Kiki Fehling teaches the first of the DBT TIPP Skills: Tip Your Temperature (also known as "the ice dive" skill). Kiki covers the basics of this distress tolerance skill, tells you how to practice the skill, and then actually practices the sk...
My first video! Opposite Action and Introduction
zhlédnutí 195Před 7 měsíci
Welcome to my channel! I'm Dr. Kiki Fehling, a licensed psychologist, author, and expert in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). Learning DBT changed my life. It's an evidence-based therapy that can help people with a variety of mental health issues, including borderline personality disorder, PTSD, anxiety, substance use, eating disorders, and depression. Really, DBT's unique set of coping skill...
Your breathing exercise, like all the yoga ones I've tried, is MUCH TOO FAST for comfort! Surely breathing so quickly gets our bodies primed for action & makes us more adrenaline-fuelled, ready to run or fight? I always find this far too stressful & have to stop & slow down to a normal, relaxed pace! This time I had to stop & slow down because a headache was starting after 3 rounds. It's so stress-inducing to rush deep gasps instead of simply relaxing with sleepy, slow breaths.
It's awesome that you' can tell this 4-second-6-second pattern doesn't work for you. As I say in the video, it's super important that everyone finds their own best pace! From a nervous system regulation perspective, what's most important are the techniques I mention in the video (e.g., making the exhale long), not this exact timing pattern.
@@dbtkiki Aha, I see! Thank you! All the ones I've tried in yoga sessions are much too fast & stressing, so perhaps I'm just unusual. (When I had panic attacks decades ago, I used to stop breathing at all & freeze till I went grey & nearly fainted.) At least I'm more aware now & focus on trying to remember to breathe at all, gently & slowly. I'll try making the outbreath longer than the inhale now. Thanks. 🙏
@@blackbird365 🙏
Feel great now. Thank you!
That's awesome! <3
Thank younfor this!
I'm glad it was helpful!
oooo i didn't know dbt was made for bpd! i don't have bpd but dbt has been really really helpful for me. it's helped me learn to actually value myself (which before i think the best i ever got was feeling neutral about myself, which was a big step up from hating myself but actually valuing myself is so cool!) and regulate my emotions.
That's so cool to hear! Yeah, DBT can help a lot of people with different things, but self-compassion and emotion regulation are big ones. Glad you've found it useful <3
the facilitator of my group therapy recommended your channel! p cool and good
awesome, welcome!
honestly It was was very relaxing After breathing 2-3 times,I feel weird. But after doing it with you, my mind and body feel relaxed/calmed completely .
That's so cool to hear! Thanks for sharing.
te explicas super bien y preciso. thanks !!!
What if you “know” these tools but in the moment you choose a poor of self destructive behaviour? Like binge eating for example?
I'm sorry I missed your comment! It's a great question. I recommend the Cope Ahead skill and making a "distress tolerance kit" for this problem. I've written about them both on Psychology Today, if you look me up there! (www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/building-a-life-worth-living/202312/how-to-stop-impulsive-behaviors)
Hi Kiki! I think the timing of you starting this channel is incredible at least for me. I’m David. I’m a 20 year paramedic with PTSD from work and child abuse. I’m also fearful avoidant in healing with The Personal Development School by Thais Gibson for 2 years now. I discovered about CBT and attachment theory during rehab for drinking 2 years ago. I’m dedicated sober and have been searching for answers since. Well, I’ve been burning out hard at work and I happened upon the channel MedCircle who praised your book as the best out there for DBT. I’m buying one. I do today i rediscovered I really needed DBT, and I think it’s amazing that you actually have a channel, too!! I’m subscribed and look very forward to your future videos! You are a wonderful person for helping others like this. Thank you for helping me. 🙏💐
Oh, David, thank you!! I'm so glad you found DBT, and my channel and book. I hope all these things can offer you some help! (Please forgive my delay in responding, I've been off CZcams recently! Hope to get back on again soon :) )
Ps: Heard you on Australian Radio National and boom, you you hit the spot🎉
Amazing! Glad you found my channel :)
For me Kiki, you and dbt are reflecting so much of my lifelong experience of complex ptsd. Thank you so much. And for your generous and honest website. I think you're the real deal 😊
Oh, gosh, thank you so much! I'm sorry for the delay in responding. <3
Absolutely fantastic video - I wish I had this resource years ago! It took me a long time to formulate this theory myself and even longer to find out it was already established. I preach it often, so I really appreciate the clear explanation! I'll definitely be recommending this video.
Thank you so much!! Yes, it is one of my favorite things to teach people, as I think it can help with self-understanding and self-compassion so so much. <3
So happy to find you here. I follow you on TT but the algorithm does not show me your videos enough. I took a chance you might be here and you are! This video hit the spot for me as I am beginning to work with someone who will be training me for leadership. I have resisted for many of the same reasons you resisted CZcams. It feels vulnerable. But, I did the opposite action my feelings were telling me and said yes to their coaching. Thanks for starting your channel with vulnerability; it is an example we can follow.
Oh my gosh, amazing!!! Thank you so much for commenting here and letting me know. I appreciate your kind words. TT has pros and cons, for sure; I'm still getting used to YT but liking it so far. Glad you found me! I'm sure I'll do a video on Opposite Action eventually, too. :)
Yay!! I didn't realize you started creating here, and I stay away from TikTok, so this is fantastic! I've loved even just watching your reels on IG - very excited for more long form content from you
Aw yay, thank you!!! Yes, I'm still getting used to CZcams, but enjoying it so far. :)
Hi
Many thanks 💙
hi! thanks for commenting. glad you liked <3
Hi
Nice video
Thank you@@SebastianKimlarsso ! Sorry I missed your comment until now :)
No problome,many thanks for u reply 💙
What helps in over thinking 💙
Great question! I've found exercise (and the other TIPP skills) can be really useful for over-thinking, because they (1) get us out of our heads and into our bodies a bit, and (2) help decrease the stress/emotion that often amplifies ruminating and worrying. I think the DBT skills for distraction, particularly distraction through sensations, can be useful for the same reasons. I may have to do a video on the topic of over-thinking-it's such a common struggle! 💙
If you could do a video on this it would help.
Thanks for breaking this down! Comes at the perfect time for me 👌
Awesome! Glad it was helpful ❤
i dont think this does anything for me....looking at pretty ladies like you helps me though
Not every DBT skill works for everyone all the time. I usually ask my clients to give everything at least two chances, and then you can move on and stick to using whatever works best for you. So, if you practiced it, awesome, now you know!
@@dbtkiki Thank you lady, we need to meet up to put your words into practice, but i dont think is gonna happen.....is okay though i am destined to be stressed forever
This was awesome I couldn’t even do it for longer than5 seconds what’s your recommendation when first starting off ?and does this help open your pores up ?
Yay, glad you enjoyed!! It takes practice, for sure. ☺ My recommendation is to listen to your body and take it slow; you want to hold your breath for as long as you can, but it's OK if that isn't super long at first. Also, take deep, slow breaths between each "dive." I don't know about this skill helping pores/skin directly, but some research shows that diving (like, real underwater diving) is associated with markers of improved cardiovascular health. And improved cardio health can help improve skin health!
@@dbtkiki that’s awesome thank you very much for taking the time to respond !
Thank you so much I sure will check it out !❤
Click through to the video on my channel to learn more about the skill!
So what exactly do you do?! I’m curious !
Basically, you dunk your face in cold water for as long as you can hold your breath. :) I just made a whole video about it on my channel if you want to get the details on how to do it and why it works!
I love seeing the skills in action. Thank you.
Oh thank you for saying so! This was requested by someone, but wasn’t sure if many other people would benefit/enjoy too. ❤
Just came across your channel, I’ve been super interested in DBT therapy and your channel is awesome!
Yay! Glad you found me! Obviously I'm just starting out here, but if you're on other social media and want to learn more from me asap, I have other accounts with lots of DBT stuff. Thanks for commenting <3
Hello
You beautiful 💖
Send u much love from japan 💟
Stay motivated 💜
Hello! Thanks for commenting :)
Hii ! it sounds really good and interesting ! I would love it if could talk about tools for binge eating disorder / impulsive eating (or other EDs) for someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder :) How to stop using food as a way to self harm
Thank you for watching, and for commenting! Your request is a great video and important topic. I will put it on my list! I'm thinking about having a podcast-like component to this channel, where I'd interview other experts about DBT-related topics. If I do that, I think this topic could be a great fit. :)
Congrats! The quality of this video is so good! Definitely doesn’t seem like your first CZcams video. So impressive.🎉
Thank you MK!!! Really appreciate it. I do think my time on TikTok helped me transfer more easily. And, the foundations course from @aliabdaal certainly helped, too. ☺ Don't think I knew you were on CZcams... I'm excited to follow and learn from you here, too!!
Love the energy! I can feel your enthusiasm through the screen. Can't wait to learn more from this channel!
Aw, wow, thank you so much!! ❤
I love your insta. I'm so glad you started a CZcams channel!! It's my go-to for in-depth content like this. I'm excited to learn more from you♡!
Yayyyyy! Thanks for coming along with me here! I'm excited, too.
Yay! Excited for this. Curious to go more in depth about what “building a life worth living” means & skills to use to support that (cough values cough). Also ways in which folks use skills for different situations/levels of distress - perhaps via storytelling. Also how emotion validation plays into each skills & how to do that. And recommendations for which skills to use for varying stress intensity. Hmm. How to actually “do” acceptance & change (and what acceptance means). Emotions as signals & concept of adopting curiosity around challenging thoughts/behaviors rather than pathologizing. Oh also how to actually “do” mindfulness of emotion, willingness, riding the wave. lol could go on for days. Congrats Kiki 🎉
Oh and also concept of “justified” emotion as that has always made me feel a little badly about my emotion, even though I believe we’re saying “emotion is valid AND intensity may not fit the facts.” Also like, complementary approaches to DBT work (ie ACT, meditation etc)
Love love love all of these suggestions, thank you!! I will add them to my list. (Pretty long right now-so many exciting topics!) ❤
So proud of you! I'm excited to watch more of your content!
🥹🥹 oh my gosh, thank you! I’m proud too. ☺️ Thanks for watching /commenting/being here.
I look forward to seeing more from you.
Thank you for being here! I look forward to making more videos. :)