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School for Relationships
Registrace 28. 05. 2024
Welcome to School for Relationships 😇
My name is Summer, and I am a LMSW therapist in New York. I treat a broad range of mental health issues, and my passion is helping people heal from complex trauma. I use a mix of approaches with my clients, including EMDR, IFS, DBT skills, TF-CBT, ERP, somatic therapy, and ACT.
On this channel, I discuss some of the latest research on mental health and the biggest patterns that I've seen from working with my clients. In particular, I focus on how relationships affect our mental health. I'm proposing a new theory on mental health, which is that mental health is relational health.
My goal is to help you improve your mental health by improving your relationships with others and yourself.
Thank you for coming back to School! I encourage you to explore what you are learning here with the support of a licensed therapist. If you are in need of immediate mental health support, you can also call or text 988 (US) or your local mental health hotline.
My name is Summer, and I am a LMSW therapist in New York. I treat a broad range of mental health issues, and my passion is helping people heal from complex trauma. I use a mix of approaches with my clients, including EMDR, IFS, DBT skills, TF-CBT, ERP, somatic therapy, and ACT.
On this channel, I discuss some of the latest research on mental health and the biggest patterns that I've seen from working with my clients. In particular, I focus on how relationships affect our mental health. I'm proposing a new theory on mental health, which is that mental health is relational health.
My goal is to help you improve your mental health by improving your relationships with others and yourself.
Thank you for coming back to School! I encourage you to explore what you are learning here with the support of a licensed therapist. If you are in need of immediate mental health support, you can also call or text 988 (US) or your local mental health hotline.
Growing Up with Blurry Boundaries: Family Roots of Enmeshment
Enmeshment (like codependency) is a learned pattern of relating to others. This video explains how we learn this relationship pattern from our families growing up, how different parenting styles impact us as children, and what types of boundaries matter the most in families. Regardless of whether you grew up with strong boundaries being modeled to you or not, learning the impacts of how you were raised will help you make your unconscious relationship patterns conscious. My hope is that this awareness will be the key that allows you to unlock a new sense of choice and agency in how you approach your present relationships 🙏🏻
⏱️Timestamps⏱️
00:00 Welcome
00:20 Disclaimer & Intention Setting
02:51 2 Important Types of Boundaries in Families
04:52 Blurry Role Boundaries in Families
05:35 Authoritative Parenting
07:18 Permissive & Neglectful Parenting
09:56 Parentification & Its Impacts
12:33 Attunement in Family Relationships
14:54 Blurry Emotional Boundaries in Families
18:34 Authoritarian & Psychologically Controlling Parenting
21:36 Bringing Back in Nuance
22:38 How We Build Resilience
⏱️Timestamps⏱️
00:00 Welcome
00:20 Disclaimer & Intention Setting
02:51 2 Important Types of Boundaries in Families
04:52 Blurry Role Boundaries in Families
05:35 Authoritative Parenting
07:18 Permissive & Neglectful Parenting
09:56 Parentification & Its Impacts
12:33 Attunement in Family Relationships
14:54 Blurry Emotional Boundaries in Families
18:34 Authoritarian & Psychologically Controlling Parenting
21:36 Bringing Back in Nuance
22:38 How We Build Resilience
zhlédnutí: 53
Video
Enmeshment: Too Much of a Good Thing
zhlédnutí 73Před dnem
What are boundaries in relationships, and why does it matter if they get blurry? Is losing yourself in relationships even a “bad” thing? Isn't caring about others more than yourself what you should be striving for? This video answers all these questions and more as we do a deep dive into understanding enmeshment and how it makes you feel in your relationships. By the end of this video, you’ll w...
Intimacy: What Is It, How Do We Get There & Why Are So Many People Afraid of It?
zhlédnutí 56Před 14 dny
Intimacy is one of the most important experiences for our happiness, satisfaction, and overall quality of life. It’s also one of the most stressful and uncertain experiences we face. Recognizing that both are true helps us understand why intimacy brings up such strong feelings for so many people. Whatever feelings you have about intimacy (most of us have a lot of mixed feelings!), this video gi...
Meditation to Reconnect with Your Inner Guides and Inspiration
zhlédnutí 23Před 21 dnem
This guided visualization uses bilateral stimulation through tapping to help you reground and connect to positive feelings in your body. No matter what you are going through right now, this visualization is designed to help you reconnect to whatever it is that you need the most in this moment. This could be trust, courage, patience, warmth, protection, calm, self-worth... In this visualization,...
Find Security Here & Now - Quick Butterfly Hug Regrounding Exercise
zhlédnutí 21Před 21 dnem
This quick regrounding exercise uses bilateral stimulation through tapping to calm your body and nervous system. The form of bilateral stimulation we use in this video is called the butterfly hug, which is helpful for when we feel overwhelmed or anxious. In general, slow bilateral stimulation through eye movements, tapping, or sound is helpful to reground and reconnect to positive feelings in y...
Memory Reconsolidation: The Key to Radical & Lifelong Change
zhlédnutí 113Před měsícem
This video gives you the inside scoop on what we're doing in therapy, and I give you an honest answer as to whether it's working.To understand what types of therapy REALLY work, we look at the root cause of most mental health problems - frozen emotional memories. Then, we talk through the latest neuroscience on how to unfreeze and rewrite the frozen emotional memories that are causing us pain a...
Welcome to School for Relationships
zhlédnutí 158Před měsícem
Welcome to School for Relationships! My name is Summer, and I am a psychotherapist based out of New York. This video explains my vision for why I created this channel and what's to come. The ideas that I present in each series are not separate or random but dots that connect in a line to tell a larger story. This story comes from me seeing the same patterns over and over again in both my work w...
DBT Guided Progressive Muscle Relaxation
zhlédnutí 35Před měsícem
In this video, I guide you through Dialectical Behavioral Therapy's progressive muscle relaxation exercise, after which we close by taking 3 regrounding breaths together. All you need to get ready for this video is a comfortable place to sit or lay for 10 minutes. From your head to your feet, I will then guide you through inhaling to clench specific muscle groups and exhaling to release and rel...
Deep Somatic Healing Strategies to Build Unconditional Self-Worth
zhlédnutí 685Před měsícem
This video is a deep dive into how to heal negative beliefs and feelings that you have about yourself through healing your body and nervous system. More than anything, self-worth is a visceral and embodied state of being - it's the way you feel about yourself in your body. These tools offer a way you can move through even the deepest and most painful feelings you have about yourself and come ou...
How to Build Unconditional Self-Worth: The Gradual Way
zhlédnutí 753Před měsícem
In this video, we take everything we have learned about unconditional self-worth and dive into strategies for how you can connect with your worth in your daily life. We break this down into two main sets of strategies: 1) how to engage in relationships that help you build self-worth, and 2) how to change your behavior to change your thoughts and feelings about yourself. For the hierarchy of emo...
What Is Unconditional Self-Worth (And Why Does It Matter)?
zhlédnutí 473Před měsícem
For me, this is probably the most important video I will ever publish. In this video, we define what unconditional self-worth is, looks, and feels like. We explore how connecting to an unconditional sense of your own self-worth changes your daily life, the way other people see you, and the way you see other people. We also compare the way that the top evidence-based types of therapy approach se...
3 Breaths to Reground & Calm the Nervous System
zhlédnutí 45Před 2 měsíci
This video kicks off our mindfulness series, where I share simple tools for how you can relax your body and nervous system. We are starting off with an exercise from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) called paced breathing, which is one of my favorite tools because of how simple and effective it is. Taking just these 3 regrounding breaths can help you release mental and physical stress, only...
How to Set Boundaries with Others & Yourself: Healing from Codependency (Part 2)
zhlédnutí 358Před 2 měsíci
In our second and final part of this series on how to heal from codependency, we focus on concrete strategies for how to set and maintain boundaries. We discuss how to set boundaries not only for other people but also boundaries for ourselves - boundaries to help us release what is out of our control and take action on what is in our control. As you listen in, you can also read through non-viol...
Healing from Codependency: Foundational Boundaries (Part 1)
zhlédnutí 482Před 2 měsíci
In this video, we take everything we have learned about codependency and dive into how to heal our codependent relationships. Part 1 of this series focuses on: developing our self-awareness, the radical practice of accepting our limits, and the 10 most foundational boundaries for healing from codependency. As you listen in to these 10 foundational boundaries, you can also read through this list...
Cultural Roots of Codependency
zhlédnutí 224Před 2 měsíci
In this video, we zoom out from individual and family relationships to look at how codependency plays out in our culture at large. We explore codependency as a larger pattern of imbalanced relationships that can reinforce social inequity. First, we discuss this pattern more broadly, and then we dive into one specific example of how race can come into play when we're looking at imbalances in rel...
Rodriguez George Rodriguez Ruth Young Matthew
Are you accepting clients? I assume the answer is likely “no”however, I just wanted to ask!
Thanks for asking! I'm not taking new clients at this time, but I hope to still reach and help more people through this podcast. In past videos, I've also shared some of the main therapy approaches I use with clients (most notably EMDR, IFS, and mindfulness-based/somatic therapy), so I hope that helps for you or anyone else looking for a therapist!
Thank you all for listening, and I hope you are able to take away something valuable from this video! For any fellow nerds out there, here are the sources I consulted for this video. Feel free to browse through in case there is something that feels meaningful for you to dig into 🤓 a lot of research went into this video, so please excuse me for how long this list is 😉 Albrecht, A.K., Galambos, N.L. & Jansson, S.M. Adolescents’ internalizing and aggressive behaviors and perceptions of parents’ psychological control: a panel study examining direction of effects. (2007). J Youth Adolescence 36, 673-684. doi.org/10.1007/s10964-007-9191-5 American Psychological Association. (2018). Resilience. In APA Dictionary of Psychology. dictionary.apa.org/resilience?_gl=1%2A1hjpmwm%2A_ga%2AMTQ5OTc2MTMyOC4xNzE2NzMyOTE5%2A_ga_SZXLGDJGNB%2AMTcxNzA3NjYwNS4xLjAuMTcxNzA3NjYwNS4wLjAuMA. Barber, Brian & Stolz, Heidi & Olsen, Joseph. (2005). Parent support, psychological control, and behavioral control: Assessing relevance across time, culture, and method. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development. 70. 1-137. 10.1111/j.1540-5834.2005.00365.x. Baumrind, D. (1971). Current patterns of parental authority. Developmental Psychology, 4(1, Pt.2), 1-103. doi.org/10.1037/h0030372 Beyarslan, S.D., Uzer, T. Psychological control and indulgent parenting predict emotional-abuse victimization in romantic relationships. Curr Psychol 41, 5532-5545 (2022). doi.org/10.1007/s12144-020-01072-w Brenner, G. (2020). What parenting styles set kids up for emotional abuse? Psychology Today. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/experimentations/202009/what-parenting-styles-set-kids-emotional-abuse Child Development Institute. (2018). The power of attunement. cdikids.org/autism/power-attunement/ Dariotis, J.K., Chen, F.R., Park, Y.R., Nowak, M.K., French, K.M., Codamon, A.M. (2023). Parentification Vulnerability, Reactivity, Resilience, and Thriving: A Mixed Methods Systematic Literature Review. Int. J. Environ. Res. Public Health 2023, 20, 6197. doi.org/10.3390/ijerph20136197 Delvecchio, E., Germani, A., Raspa, V., Lis, A., & Mazzeschi, C. (2020). Parenting Styles and Child's Well-Being: The Mediating Role of the Perceived Parental Stress. Europe's journal of psychology, 16(3), 514-531. doi.org/10.5964/ejop.v16i3.2013 Gale, J., Muruthi, B. (2017). Triangles and Triangulation in Family Systems Theory. In: Lebow, J., Chambers, A., Breunlin, D. (eds) Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy. Springer, Cham. doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-15877-8_758-1 Gibson, L. C. (2016). Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. ReadHowYouWant. Hooper, L. M. (2008). Defining and understanding parentification: implications for all counselors. The Alabama Counseling Association Journal, Volume 34, Number1, Spring 2008. files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ875392.pdf Jakobsen, K. V., & Fischer, P. (2023). Development of self. Child and Adolescent Development. pressbooks.lib.jmu.edu/topicalchilddev/chapter/development-of-self/ Harvard University. (2024). Neglect. Center on the Developing Child. developingchild.harvard.edu/science/deep-dives/neglect/ Harvard University. (2024). Resilience. Center on the Developing Child. developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/resilience/#:~:text=The%20single%20most%20common%20factor,buffer%20children%20from%20developmental%20disruption. Hoghughi, M. & Speight, A. (1998). Good enough parenting for all children - A strategy for a healthier society. Archives of Disease in Childhood, 78, 4, 293-296. Kawabata, Y., Alink, L. R. A., Tseng, W.-L., van IJzendoorn, M. H., & Crick, N. R. (2011). Maternal and paternal parenting styles associated with relational aggression in children and adolescents: A conceptual analysis and meta-analytic review. Developmental Review, 31(4), 240-278. doi.org/10.1016/j.dr.2011.08.001 Kuppens, S., & Ceulemans, E. (2019). Parenting Styles: A Closer Look at a Well-Known Concept. Journal of child and family studies, 28(1), 168-181. doi.org/10.1007/s10826-018-1242-x Lang, A. (2018). Family structure, family functioning, and well-being in adolescence: A Multidimensional Approach. International Journal of Humanities and Social Science , Vol. 8, No. 2. www.ijhssnet.com/journals/Vol_8_No_2_February_2018/3.pdf Lavrič, M., & Naterer, A. (2020). The power of authoritative parenting: A cross-national study of effects of exposure to different parenting styles on life satisfaction. Children and Youth Services Review, 116, 105274. doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2020.105274 León-Del-Barco, B., Mendo-Lázaro, S., Polo-Del-Río, M. I., & López-Ramos, V. M. (2019). Parental Psychological Control and Emotional and Behavioral Disorders among Spanish Adolescents. International journal of environmental research and public health, 16(3), 507. doi.org/10.3390/ijerph16030507 Maccoby E., Martin J. (1983). Socialization in the context of the family: Parent-child interaction. In: Mussen PH, editor. Handbook of Child Psychology. Wiley; New York Masiran, R., Ibrahim, N., Awang, H., & Lim, P. Y. (2023). The positive and negative aspects of parentification: An integrated review. Children and Youth Services Review, 144, 106709. doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2022.106709 Maté, G. (2003). When the body says no: the cost of hidden stress (1st ed). A.A. Knopf Canada. Minuchin, S. (1974). Families and family therapy. London: Routledge. Ross, N., Gilbert, R., Torres, S., Dugas, K., Jefferies, P., McDonald, S., Savage, S., & Ungar, M. (2020). Adverse childhood experiences: Assessing the impact on physical and psychosocial health in adulthood and the mitigating role of resilience. Child abuse & neglect, 103, 104440. doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2020.104440 Soenens, B. & Vansteenkiste, M. (2010). A theoretical upgrade of the concept of parental psychological control: Proposing new insights on the basis of self-determination theory. / Developmental Review 30, p. 74-99. selfdeterminationtheory.org/SDT/documents/2010_SoenensVansteenkiste_DR.pdf Tanzer, M., Salaminios, G., Morosan, L., Campbell, C., & Debbané, M. (2020). Self-Blame Mediates the Link between Childhood Neglect Experiences and Internalizing Symptoms in Low-Risk Adolescents. Journal of child & adolescent trauma, 14(1), 73-83. doi.org/10.1007/s40653-020-00307-z Wood B. (1985). Proximity and hierarchy: orthogonal dimensions of family interconnectedness. Family process, 24(4), 487-507. doi.org/10.1111/j.1545-5300.1985.00487.x
Come on youtube algorythm, do yo thang! ^^
You're videos are really valueable thank you!!!
Thank you for your kind feedback and support of my channel 😊
i love that you just dived right in. i wish every youtuber did that 💫
It's sad but I've always found it difficult to find a role model, and I was unable to come up with someone during your exercise... I've always pushed myself to be my best self... Clearly this is not for a lack of people in the world to look up to, there must be something in me that stopped believing in it and therefore stopped expecting to find anyone.
Thank you for naming that 💜you're not alone in your struggle to connect to positive role models. One thing you can also try is using yourself in this exercise! If there is a time in your life when you are proud of how you showed up, you can also reconnect to your own energy and what helped you find courage in that moment. I hope that helps! People can often surprise us, too - so you may still meet more role models and find more sources of inspiration around you as long as you stay open to that 😌
@@SchoolforRelationships I'm sure I will :) namastay ^^
Could somebody link the video that is recommended at the beginning of this one? Thanks!
Is it this one? czcams.com/video/CygWcL2TV0c/video.htmlsi=phOx3HrV8zy7Edt_
czcams.com/video/CygWcL2TV0c/video.htmlsi=ziD1KQ7EgBKQ4nEi
There wasn't enough character space for this in the description of the video (so I am posting the longest comment ever), but I want to make sure you have access to all of the sources I consulted in making this video. Here you go: Agren, T. et al. (2012). Disruption of Reconsolidation Erases a Fear Memory Trace in the Human Amygdala. Science 337, 1550-1552. DOI: 10.1126/science.1223006 Allsopp, K., Read, J., Corcoran, R., & Kinderman, P. (2019). Heterogeneity in psychiatric diagnostic classification. Psychiatry Research, 279, 15-22. doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2019.07.005 Bryant, R. A., & Datta, S. (2019). Reconsolidating Intrusive Distressing Memories by Thinking of Attachment Figures. Clinical Psychological Science, 7(6), 1249-1256. doi.org/10.1177/2167702619866387 Clem, R. L., & Schiller, D. (2016). New Learning and Unlearning: Strangers or Accomplices in Threat Memory Attenuation? Trends in Neurosciences, 39(5), 340-351. doi.org/10.1016/j.tins.2016.03.003 Coherence Psychology Institute. (2023). Psychotherapy Unification Via Memory Reconsolidation. Coherence Psychology Institute. www.coherencetherapy.org/discover/TRP-documented-therapies.htm Ecker, B. (2015). Memory Reconsolidation Understood and Misunderstood. International Journal of Neuropsychotherapy. 3. 2-46. 10.12744/ijnpt.2015.0002-0046. Ecker, B., Ticic, R., Hulley, L., & Sibson, P., Martignetti, C. A., Geoghegan, N., & Connor, T. A. (Collaborators). (2012). Unlocking the emotional brain: Eliminating symptoms at their roots using memory reconsolidation. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Ecker, B., Bridges, S.K. How the Science of Memory Reconsolidation Advances the Effectiveness and Unification of Psychotherapy. Clin Soc Work J 48, 287-300 (2020). doi.org/10.1007/s10615-020-00754-z Flakentein, B. Savage, J. Ecker, B. (2023). Feeling What We Remember - Interview with Bruce Ecker. Notice That. Podcast Audio, episode no. 94. Greenberg, L. S. (2012). Emotions, the great captains of our lives: Their role in the process of change in psychotherapy. American Psychologist, 67(8), 697-707. Hänsel, A., & von Känel, R. (2008). The ventro-medial prefrontal cortex: a major link between the autonomic nervous system, regulation of emotion, and stress reactivity?. BioPsychoSocial medicine, 2, 21. doi.org/10.1186/1751-0759-2-21 Kazdin A. E. (2006). Arbitrary metrics: implications for identifying evidence-based treatments. The American psychologist, 61(1), 42-71. doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.61.1.42 LaBar, K., Cabeza, R. (2006). Cognitive neuroscience of emotional memory. Nat Rev Neurosci 7, 54-64. doi.org/10.1038/nrn1825 Lampinen, J. M., & Beike, D. R. (2014). Frozen in Time: Traumatic Memories. In Memory 101 (pp. 201-238). Springer Publishing Company. doi.org/10.1891/9780826109255.0007 Lane R.D., Ryan L., Nadel L., Greenberg L.. (2015). Memory reconsolidation, emotional arousal, and the process of change in psychotherapy: New insights from brain science. Behavioral and Brain Sciences;38:e1. doi:10.1017/S0140525X14000041 Ledoux, J. (2007). Emotional memory. In Scholarpedia Article www.scholarpedia.org/article/Emotional_memory Masiran, R., Ibrahim, N., Awang, H., & Lim, P. Y. (2023). The positive and negative aspects of parentification: An integrated review. Children and Youth Services Review, 144, 106709. doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2022.106709 Maté, G. (2003). When the body says no : the cost of hidden stress (1st ed). A.A. Knopf Canada. McGaugh, J. L., & Roozendaal, B. (2002). Role of adrenal stress hormones in forming lasting memories in the brain. Current Opinion in Neurobiology, 12(2), 205-210. doi.org/10.1016/S0959-4388(02)00306-9 Nader K. (2015). Reconsolidation and the Dynamic Nature of Memory. Cold Spring Harbor perspectives in biology, 7(10), a021782. doi.org/10.1101/cshperspect.a021782 Pedreira, M. E., Pérez-Cuesta, L. M., & Maldonado, H. (2004). Mismatch between what is expected and what actually occurs triggers memory reconsolidation or extinction. Learning & memory (Cold Spring Harbor, N.Y.), 11(5), 579-585. doi.org/10.1101/lm.76904 Porges, S. W. (2017). The pocket guide to the polyvagal theory: The transformative power of feeling safe. W W Norton & Co. Scully, I. D., Napper, L. E., & Hupbach, A. (2017). Does reactivation trigger episodic memory change? A meta-analysis. Neurobiology of Learning and Memory, 142, 99-107. doi.org/10.1016/j.nlm.2016.12.012 Shapiro, F. (2018). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy: Basic principles, protocols, and procedures (3rd ed.). The Guilford Press. Stevens, F. L. (2019). Affect regulation and affect reconsolidation as organizing principles in psychotherapy. Journal of Psychotherapy Integration, 29(3), 277-290. van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking. Vervliet, B., Craske, M. G., & Hermans, D. (2013). Fear Extinction and Relapse: State of the Art. In Annual Review of Clinical Psychology (Vol. 9, Issue Volume 9, 2013, pp. 215-248). Annual Reviews. doi.org/10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-050212-185542 Vitale, E. M., & Smith, A. S. (2022). Neurobiology of Loneliness, Isolation, and Loss: Integrating Human and Animal Perspectives. Frontiers in behavioral neuroscience, 16, 846315. doi.org/10.3389/fnbeh.2022.846315 Wampold, B.E., & Imel, Z.E. (2015). The Great Psychotherapy Debate: The Evidence for What Makes Psychotherapy Work (2nd ed.). Routledge. doi.org/10.4324/9780203582015
thank you so much for making ALL of your videos. i have been learning so much. i feel very understood and hopeful! i am surprised by the amount of subscribers you have (feels like it should be way more), these videos are genuinely life changing. i want them to be widespread broadcasted for everyone to hear! i have been on the tip of this ice berg for so long, it feels so good to have the dots connected (mostly, of course I have some personal digging to attend to, with the help of my therapist). i feel so validated and, again, hopeful that i can heal and have healthy relationships. know that these videos are helping transform and heal at least one person... and she is so grateful.
@@samiabdo3776 thank you so much for your support and kind words 🥹 this channel is a very new project so I am hoping to be able to continue growing and reaching more people! Hearing that you are tuning in and engaging with this content in such a deep and thoughtful way is incredibly meaningful, especially this early on. Thank you for inspiring and motivating me to keep going ❤️
What if you don't have a memory of an event but you feel emotional pain for years, since your childhood?
Such a good question ❤ you don't need to remember a specific event or even know exactly where the pain you're feeling comes from. All you need to heal is to be able to feel and connect to that emotional pain. Then, a therapist (or trusted guide) that you're working with can help you go into, reprocess, and heal that feeling! I hope that helps and that you are able to release any painful feeling you've been carrying 🙏
@@SchoolforRelationships thank you for your answer 💙🙏
I really enjoyed your video and I am so thankful for the information you provided in a very professional yet relatable way! I also really like that your sharing so much helpful information for free on a platform like CZcams 💜 Quality professional therapy costs a lot of money and often times I think the people who need the most help cannot afford it - not to mention ruin the time it takes to get help. I look forward to future videos 🫶🏽
Thank you for your support and acknowledgement! I originally started doing research and writing to help my current clients, but I created this channel with the hope that this information can be healing for many more people - especially those without access to therapy. I hope you are also learning and exploring ideas that feel useful and empowering for you too 😊
This is life transforming ❤
love this ❤
This was so valuable, thank you so much! ❤
This was so helpful, lots of unexpected and actionable advices! Your contents have already made a difference with how I show up in my relationships ❤
I'm so glad you were able to take away some clear next steps from the video 😊that's wonderful you're already using this information to approach your relationships differently
thanks for this video, you way of explaining things is great!❤❤❤
This was SO motivating. You spoke with so much kindness - my worth felt recognized ❤
Wow. Just got out of a counseling session and this was the topic. My therapist is a lovely person, however did not connect self worth to how we connect with others. This is the piece I was missing and needed to hear today. ❤
Thank you for sharing! I'm happy the part on how self-worth changes our relationships resonated with you 🥲 so exciting to hear that self-worth is something you're already exploring and deepening for yourself
Beautiful ! I am worthy coz I Exist .Thanks for the reminder .💓✨☺️
Thank you. I'm glad I found your channel 🌙🤍
Thankyou for this series Really enjoying listening and understanding some of my behaviour ❤
Thank you for listening to the series! Sounds like you’re bringing a lot of self-awareness into understanding this more 😊
Maslows Heirarchy of Needs is partially correct. Food, water, and shelter (aka, security) is a need. EVERYTHING else is a WANT. (However, I understand your meaning).
Really interesting point! I would add social connection/belonging to the list of core needs given how much the stress of loneliness and isolation negatively impacts our health. Overall though, I have a feeling you might appreciate non-violent communication's approach of also calling other less essential human desires "values" rather than needs
You have a nice speech tempo, it was both calming and captivating :)
Thank you! This is my first time recording in front of a camera, so I still have a lot to learn and practice! Your feedback is really kind and helpful 😊
Thank you! This is very helpful. I’m in a situation where I am extremely confused like you said, so this was a good reminder to focus on getting resourced. I find boundaries confusing and you explain it so well, this really connected the dots for me. ❤
Thank you for your kind feedback! Just by listening in to these videos you’re already in the process of connecting to more resources and information 😊 so I hope that helps!
Subscribed. I really like the way you describe codependency. I’ve read some books about it, but this helped it make so much more sense. Thanks!
Thank you so much! I started in the same place and was reading a lot about different books/articles on codependency, and I also had a hard time making sense of it at first. I'm glad my explanation felt clarifying!
Love the bit about capitalism. Very accurate 😂
This is helpful, thanks!
2:25 “Because co-dependency is a learned way of relating with others, we can learn new ways.” So beautifully put ❤
Love it
One thing that’s making me tired is white people on screens coming up with ever more ways that blank people are disadvantaged… which translates to lesser. Human life has gotten much too long. Can I be excused soon? Another 2-4 decades of this sounds utterly exhausting.
Thank you for sharing your feelings and speaking to how it feels hearing this content coming from a white person. I hear this brings up feelings of exhaustion for you and can often feel disempowering. I appreciate you naming this
Thank you so much for this video, it was really eye opening to learn so specifically about codependency! I also really appreciated your distinction between empathy and compassion-as someone with autism, I used to be called “unempathetic” by others growing up and that made me try harder to be “empathetic”. But I found my own well-being deteriorating more as I tried, and also felt like I wasn’t really helping anyone who I was trying to be empathetic with. Now I know why! With this new knowledge I can focus more on compassion :)
Thank you for sharing your experiences with empathy versus compassion, and I am glad this part of the video resonated with you! I hear a lot of self-compassion in how you are reflecting on this, which I really appreciate!