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Happy to help! It's on Amazon - the first one is called 'You can sleep too!" I also have a bundle book that is my first and 2nd book call "Your 2 in 1 CBTi book" But yes, with patience, consistency, behaviour changes to rebuild your sleep drive / body clock and thought pattern changes to take away the anxiety / stop insomnia pushing you around and start living your life again it can be overcome - after 20 years of chronic insomnia, I know this for a fact!

Hey Phoenix girls, yes for most people this is a good thing to do, but as you know with the way I help people I'm never too dogmatic with it. I had another comment on this video saying that they like to do "cozy" gaming before bed as they find that relaxing, and as they personally find it helps, I'm all for it! Glad you are doing so much better with your sleep these days and thanks for always commenting. In 3 months or so there will be a change to the channel as I'll be doing lots more interviews / success stories and also taking the channel outside walking round the streets of the Philippines. Hopefully will make it interesting for people.

Hi, no I wouldn't! If you personally find them relaxing, you find they don't impact your sleep and you enjoy them, crack on! Don't limit your life to appease insomnia as the rabbit hole goes pretty deep if you do. But try to remember the right intention - play the games to help you feel grounded and relaxed and because you enjoy them, that's it! Not to fix insomnia or to force or manufactur sleep. Once you have put the other behavioural changes in place that I recommend on this channel (good enough, not perfectly) then it's about letting go and doing far far less to sleep in order to take away the obsession. But yeah, these games sound great!

@@InsomniaTalks Thank you for the thoughtful reply. I read most of your book in one sitting yesterday and had the first full night's sleep in months last night! I know that progress won't be linear but it's the first glimmer of hope I've had in a while ☺️

@@RedheadLG Really happy to help! I often here this after people have finished the book, I think it's because you just relax and realise you now have a path to follow and can stop doing all the other nonsense that doesn't help. I talk about stimulus control in the book but another alternative to this is counter control where you stay in bed - you'll find this here - czcams.com/video/pJ8hkgJJAgE/video.html

Oh and if you had the time to rate / review the book (literally copying and pasting what you have already written is perfect) i'd really appreciate that UK based amazon.co.uk/ryp - USA Amazon.com/ryp -- Anywhere else your usual amazon address with /ryp on the end will take you straight to the review pages! If you need help / tailoring of advice anytime just post a comment on any of my videos and i'll reply. Joe

Try reducing your time on bed by setting yourself a sleep window for a month m.czcams.com/video/V_e3n2DBbjM/video.html&pp=ygUcSW5zb21uaWEgdGFsa3Mgc2xlZXAgd2luZG93IA%3D%3D and a fixed wake time (get up same time everyday no matter what - even if you sleep poorly in the short term to get better quality sleep in thr long run) just one month will physiologically rebuild your pattern of sleep (body clock) and sleep drive. Do it with patience and consistency and try to actually stick to it. In CBTi this is known as bedtime restriction and is one of the most evidence based approaches to cure long term insomnia. Just 1 month. After that , then you can speak with some authority about whether or not it is useless advice. But of course, whilst it has an incredibly high success rate, it's also difficult especially in the early stages. So you may well decide it's too much hassle and not bother. Up to you.

I had to be put on 300 mg of trazedone and melatonin and i still have no drive to sleep. There is something wrong.

So it's a bit of a chicken and egg situation with anxiety and insomnia. Anxiety can trigger insomnia which then develops into long term chronic insomnia if people trip down the rabbit hole of control, obsession / changing their behaviours etc. Or you can start with insomnia before anxiety, and once you have insomnia you are then 18X (one study has shown) to develop anxiety. But yes what most of the insomnia treatments out there don't understand is that people become anxious about sleep itself - terriefied of the bed and the bedroom, scared of staying in a hotel, meeting up with friends, watching TV before bed (good sleepers do this don't they!?) and it just feeds into the condition. But yes you're 100% correct, once the obession / control and fear around sleep ends people sleep - it just takes a lot of steps to get people there (including physiologically rebuilding peoples sleep drive / body clock through behavioural changes) Really happy you are now sleeping well! what you said about essentially not caring is the end goal of my treatment and sleeping well is a side effect of this, so you are spot on!

Very happy to help!

It could be either, certainly when people are very anxious (one study has shown you are 18 X more likely to suffer anxiety if you have insomnia) this happens. When people get their sleep back on track, it improves. Do you know if it just on sleep onset? Is there anyone who can observe you / in the past have you had it reported that you constantly wake up gasping for air / snore. Of course please visit your doctor! But generally If only on sleep onset, not throughout the night / no other symptoms of sleep apnea (I have a video on sleep apnea if you search my channel) then I am learning towards anxiety - you can improve this with all my advice on the channel to improve sleep quality. If there is a way of you recording yourself when sleeping to determine if you have symptoms of sleep apnea then this is a good idea. Please also visit a sleep physiologist for a proper diagnosis.

Hi, overcoming insomnia is about shifting the focus away from trying to get as much sleep as you can in the short term to building good behavjours and habits so you sleep well over the long run. So it starts with behavioural changes that will mean that you sleep less in the short term. Think about moving between big time zones when people travel, for a week or so, people sleep less until they re align. I would start with a gentle sleep window and either stimulus / counter control and moving away from all the supplements etc and googling / quick fixes. This playlist here will help you: www.youtube.com/@InsomniaTalks/playlists (New to the channel? start here!) Start with a gentle sleep window and implement stilumlus / counter control to begin with (all on the playlist!)

Thanks Stonefreaky! I wasn't brave enough to be as direct as you when I made this video, but yeah, this is what I would have liked to have said, would have been a lot quicker!

Hi the trigger really doesn't matter - what happened is that following the trigger your behaviours almost certainly changes, sleep got even worse and then you tripped down the rabbit hole of anxiety, fear, worry obsession fear worry and then it spiralled from there. I would lead with behavioural changes to rebuild your pattern of sleep / re set your body clock / sleep drive and give your sleep consistency and predictability. The two most important ones that get the fastest results are sleep windows / counter control. You will find both of these on my playlist here: www.youtube.com/@InsomniaTalks/playlists Take a watch of the playlist - New to the channel? start here! Work your way through all these videos and start putting the recommended behaviour changes in place. After that, have a binge watch of my channel and or get my step-by-step online programme that will tell you exactly what to do week by week - you'll find it on sleepze.com

Hi Dan, I'd advise abandoning the sleep window entirely now. It's served it's purpose very well. Physiologically your pattern of sleep (body clock / sleep drive) are now working for you rather than against you as you described that you are sleeping better, and your anxiety / fear around sleep is no longer there. You've done it! The sleep window is just a stepping stone, but it's purpose is to be let go of. Are good sleepers still using them? I'd move to going to bed when sleepy, and more or less waking at the same time and just keep a general awareness of how long you should spend in bed to get good sleep quality. Also, why are you aiming for 8 hours? By the sound of it your body is telling you that 7 is good as now consistently it is taking you an hour to fall asleep - so take sleep duration off the table entirely. The body will give you the right amount of sleep that it needs, think of sleep duration like shoe size (different for everyone) and remember it is never the same every night. Think of it also like calories. Say someone needs 2500 calories to maintain their body weight. Do they eat exactly that every day or over a month does it just tend to naturally even out? That's how sleep is. But yes, you're 90 percent there! Now it's about letting go, not entirely, you still want to generally keep up with good habits and behaviours, but the middle way, not too strict as this creates obsession, and not too lose as as sleep does appreciate consistency. But yes, once you've fixed something you don't need to keep 🔨 ing it! Well done for actually putting into practice the advise on the channel, no life boat came to save you, this was all on you. To everyone else reading - this works! Not immediately, habit and behaviour changes take time to see results but they last. Have a binge watch on this channel, or to make things as easy as possible with a step by step guide that tells you exactly what to do and when to do it, check out my website sleepze.com.

I know it's a horrible bully

I see it more as a circadian preference, habits and behaviours are far more influential. If for example you were a good sleeper and then got a job as a baker where you had to wake up at 3am, first week you'd struggle, but very soon you'd just start feeling sleeper earlier. Same as if you got yourself a bar job and started waking up at 10 am. You may well have a preference towards certain timings, and overall for most people it is good to align themselves with society and the natural rhythm of the sun to get as much natural daylight as possible, ultimately a fixed, consistent wake time dictates the timings of your sleep. If this were not true, moving between time zones would not be possible, but of course millions of people do this every day.

P.s - thanks for buying the book!

Hi thanks for your message. Overcoming insomnia is about shifting your focus away from getting as much sleep as you possibly can in the short term to building new habits and behaviours so you sleep well over the long run. But yes, it's hard when you first start, but eventually you will notice that you start feeling sleepier earlier and when your sleep over the long run becomes more consistent and predictable over the long run, the anxiety around not sleeping on one individual night comes down too (and when the anxiety isn't there, you sleep!) As for the holiday, I would say it's helpful to integrate these behaviours into your regular life rather than waiting for everything to align before you do them. I'd also say that you've chosen quite an aggressive sleep window (5.5 hours) perhaps you're a short sleeper and that's ok, but for most people this would cause a lot of anxiety and id recommend something a bit softer (the Goldilocks / middle way! That's how I recommend people approach treatment) Also going to bed at 3am - I'm guessing your holiday involves a big time zone shift - is that correct?if not, why would you set it so late. Buy yes, ultimately it doesn't really matter when you choose to start the treatment, but the sooner you do, the sooner you will start seeing slow gradual improvements. If it seems too hard to do whilst still working, make it easier as it's much better to do something than nothing.

@@InsomniaTalks the problem is I’m not aware of what time I fall asleep, all I know is I go to bed at 10pm and I’m wide awake when I’m in bed, but you ask me when I fall asleep and I couldn’t tell you, so if I got out of bed, I’d be waiting a good while to feel sleepy and drained until I could go to bed, how can I afford to wait for sleep to happen when I have to be waking up with the alarm at 4:30am for work

Hi, start with the 2 core behavioural changes to rebuild your pattern of sleep (strengthen your sleep drive / re set your body clock) so the sleep window and counter / stimulus control. You'll find all of this on my 'New to the channel? Start here!" playlist www.youtube.com/@InsomniaTalks/playlists Put these in place, you'll notice that with enough time and consistency you will see improvements just from 2 behavioural changes. Then have a binge watch of all my videos to deal with the thought patterns, anxiety, obsession, control around sleep. But yes it's all on this channel and the beginners playlist is your first step!

@@InsomniaTalks thank you very much for the advice, I'll try it

Hi, yes 100% it is helpful once you've re built your pattern of sleep (physiologically re built your sleep drive / body clock) with the sleep window it is helpful to then start moving away from it. The sleep window is a stepping stone, not the end goal, but it is very very helpful for the majority of people in the first instance both physiologically and psychologically as it does wonders for your confidence when you start seeing improvements and you realise you are not permanently broken, you just had a poor pattern of sleep that needs to be re built. Once done however, good sleepers arn't on sleep windows so to truly be free of the program it needs to be let go of and that should always be the end goal. Yes 100% you do need to be accepting of insomnia / a poor night. However, this is virtually impossible when you can't see the path out of insomnia and you haven't already seen those glimmers of hope by putting the right behaviours in place and actually seeing results. So this very very important thought pattern shift is something that comes after behavioural changes. This is why I always lead with behavioural changes. It hard to change habits and behaviours but it's very very hard to change thought patterns when your still at the bottom of the pit, you need to at least have climbed someway to the top before you can be OK with insomnia. Really happy you are doing so well! Yes, good CBTi is incredibly helpful, but it's you who has done the work, no life boat came to save you, so thank you for putting what I teach in practice with consistency and patience - the results are all you!

@@InsomniaTalks thanks Joe youve been very helpful I tried going to bed at 10am last night and that backfired I tossed and turned and didn't have the best night but It doesn't feel like the end of the world I know sleep will come again. I can't wait for the days when the residual fear fades and I can have early nights now and again

@@danh2310 That just happens over time with more water under the bridge. Once you've learn't everything you've needed to learn, got your sleep back on track and seen improvements going from 80% and getting that last 20% is just time and consistency. A bit like when you start a new job, the initial stages are nerve racking and you overthink and analyse everything, then you start doing a bit better but nothing feels natural, then it's just turning up everyday and doing the same thing over and over that gives you the realisation of --- I can do this with my eyes closed and I never even think about it anymore - you've not actively done anything to get there, it's literally just time.

Hi, so you may consciously not known you felt sleepy - but the body can only sleep when you are, and it has a drive to sleep. However, what is different now is that before you had no anxiety around sleep, so even if you only had a small sleep drive, you could still go to bed and be relaxed and happy to be there, no force no effort, close your eyes, as long as it took for sleep drive to build to the point to help you sleep, then... sleep. Now there is that anxiety around sleep, that hyper focus, that hyper awareness, that control etc - so now you do need that sleepy feeling more to overide the anxiety. However, when you put the behavioural changes in place I outline (fixed wake time, less time in bed, counter control (leaving bed and bedroom when anxius etc) and NOT doing all the 1001 controlling things to force / create / control sleep and just carry on about your day to reduce the obession around it, the anxiety about sleep itself comes down and you will slowly start getting back to the how things were. I'd take a look at my playlist www.youtube.com/@InsomniaTalks/playlists Once you start putting everything in place, things will slowly, gradually start to improve - not a quick fix, patience, consitency, kindness and 'good enough' rather than perfection - it's a long term habit change not a thing to fix it instantly tonight, but it works.

Hi, unless it's racing car driving / something dangerous its safe to do. Your sleep will normalise the following night / over the night few nights. The worst thing you can do is to start changing your behaviours and habits to compensate for poor sleep as these change over the long run, and yu start doing far far less. So yes when you sleep poor;y, try as best you can not to fall down the slope of doing less / spending more time in bed etc. And if you have insomnia - start with my playlist 'new to the channel? start here!" this will set you right.

Hi, I wouldn't say that this is actually that unusual but there is a few things going on to explore why it's happening. First off the poor night of sleep. Few things going on here. It's after a good night of sleep - so the sleep drive is down, so the quality is not as high. Secondly, very vivid dreams are a sign of disturbed REM sleep. There is something in the brain called a startle response which is a safety mechanism where the brain will wake you briefly (but unconsciously) when you here a noise - analyse that noise to see if you need to pay attention to it, wake you properly if you do (someone checking your door handle for instance - even if the volume was very low, this would definitely wake you!) Lorry driving past, even if the volume is much much higher than someone checking your door handle, in most instances you wouldn't fully awake. You become aware of dreams during the brief awakening's - people who say they never dream is not true, everyone does - they just have very good quality REM sleep. Hyperawareness / anxiety can also make for lighter REM sleep. It's also probably become a learn't behaviour / pattern - oh no, I know this - this is the night I ALWAYS get the poor night of sleep - anxiety increase, more worry --- poor night of sleep. So that's the poor night. On the good night of sleep your body prioritises on getting better quality sleep to compensate. People become obsessed with sleep duration and think that if they slept poorly the previous night they have to sleep more the next night to catch up. That's not how it works, there was a study by Colin Espie that shows that duration wise you only need to catch up on 1 third of the hours lost- however what does happen is the quality of your sleep will improve. So the quality of all your sleep stages, including REM will be improved so you will have less awareness of your dreams the following night. You will also likely have improved quality. So your sleep drive is up and the body is prioritising better sleep quality. Also, the learnt behaviour is now working in your favour - I know this, this is the night I always get a good night sleep, you relax, less anxiety - better sleep! So what to do. I'd look at better quality sleep overall - so fixing that wake time, light first thing / exercise during the day / going to bed when sleepy. As you don't have chronic insomnia anymore, you really don't need to go back to anything more extreme to fix this but tightening the behaviours is good. Also i'm sure you are doing this already but ear plugs dampens down the startle response. There is also the the pattern 1 night good 1 night bad you'd like to break . So you want to stabilise it to break it - you said you sleep between 6.5 - 7 hours ---- am I right in assuming on the 'good night' the sleep duration can be higher? so you are going from poor quality, to catch up, to poor quality - rinse and repeat. Perhaps set a gentle 7 hour window for 1 - 2 weeks - this will improve the sleep quality on the poorer night and will break this pattern. This will help physiologically, and psychologically as well as once you have seen this pattern no longer plays out you want be fixated on it. Hope this helps, glad your insomnia is behind you (apart from perhaps a relapse) please celebrate how far you have come as well with that! you overcame insomnia through thought pattern and behavipur changes and a good understanding of sleep, fixing this is nothing compared to that!

To be fair it’s only been a year of insomnia for me but still!

Hi, I'm really happy how much much book has helped you! (for everyone else I have two - 'You Can Sleep Too! - and Your 2 in 1 CBTi book" which contain my first and second - all on Amazon!) I think often people get very fast results as they just learn very very quickly - it's now OK to stop looking, it's Ok to stop the struggle, finally I know what to do and what not to do, so I can stop all the 1001 nonsense hacks, tips and tricks and just simplify. Imagine being lost in a forest for days walking around in circles and then you stumble across a sign post and a tarmac path saying 'THIS WAY' to the car park. Even before you reach the end you are 100% more relaxed than before because you know the way out. It is not the first time I have heard this about other mental health disorders. I had a client who I didn't know at the time had an eating disorder they were very restrictive / obsessive around food. They stopped fighting everything and on the call said not only is she sleeping well, they had a chocolate bar and ate junk food in the same week! I didn't know the significance of this but it turned out they had limited there diet to only 10 healthy items and this was the first time in a decade that they allowed themself to do this - and not only did they not catch fire, they felt great! But yes, i'm really happy for you! And I'm very pleased that you are applying the same teachings to other areas of your life and already seeing results, health and happiness - wonderful! Would you mind doing me a massive favour and leaving me a review on Audible? Literally just copying and pasting what you wrote here would mean the world to me as especially on audible I don't have that many reviews yet so something like this will make a massive difference. Any help you need, just comment on any of my videos and i'll get back to you!

This is 100% spot on. It is however virtually impossible for someone with insomnia to truly take on board. You need to prove to them first that they can sleep (through the right behaviour changes that physiologically rebuild their pattern of sleep / body clock and sleep drive ) and lead them down the path of leaning into rather than running away from their fears around sleep (exposure therapy - to take away the power of insomnia) and take away the anxiety around sleep, and then eventually it clicks that forcing sleep is literally impossible, it is just a natural physiological process and the less you do to sleep in the given moment, and the less you do to control sleep during the day, and the less obsession, the better you sleep. 99% of what I do is to get people to do far far less until eventually they do nothing and realise what you just said - but it's a very very hard concept - but yes it's the end goal! it just takes quite a few stepping stones in the middle, but if if people can get there with as few stepping stones as possible, perfect.

Hi Angela, thanks for your comment. Yes something that is never discussed is the anxiety and obsession about sleep itself. And all the quick fixes, hacks tips tricks - whilst even if there is some evidence behind them, they are not going to fix a long term chronic problem as they never address the root cause - often they just feed the obsession. It's why I get so cross when people tell people with insomnia to meditate. There is nothing wrong with meditation, but when used to force and manipulate sleep it just creates even more anxiety around sleep and teaches the brain that sleep is something you have to manufacture and control - which is impossible.

Yes, a good term for this is tolerance threshold. I can cope with 1 bad night but 2 is completely unacceptable to me. The problem is, if two are unacceptable - that increases the chance that you throw everything out and go back to the warm baths, the kiwis, the restricting of your life etc. It comes with the confidence, this works, I have proven to my self it does, there are 1001 variables that affect sleep and I cannot control them all and I don't won't them to happen but I know 2 nights of poor sleep for whatever reason, or no reason at all are possible. But as long as I don't change anything and I just stay the course, eventually this will pass and the lion that was right in front of my face will no longer be there. It's easier said than done, and you don't have to be happy about it, but not being happy about it and not completely panicking are two very different things.

@@InsomniaTalks thanks for the detailed response!

Hi, sleep debt doesn't work like people think it does. IE long term sleep debt - I've slept poorly for 10 years so I need to sleep extra for another 10 years - nonsense, you can get it back in literally 1 night. Also, in terms of short term sleep debt, that also doesn;t work like people think it does. IE if you 'lose' 3 hours of sleep on the Monday night you need to catch up 3 hours extra on the Tuesday - no. There was a study by Colin Espie that shows you only need to catch up on 1 third of the hours lost. This video here explains why: czcams.com/video/y1xLU3cPk88/video.html (warning this was one of my first videos in front of the camera and I wasn't used to it yet, it looks like i've had 20 cofees as I was a little nervous!) As for the timing of the sleep window, it doesn't really matter. It's helpful to align with the rest of the world and yes getting up earlier will mean you get more daylight overall so it's certainly my preference, but say you're someone who likes to go to gigs / do lots of things in the evening, setting it later will align better with your lifestyle. Always balance and the middle way with my teachings - some people like to get up at 5am with the sun - amazing. Some people like to go to open mics and have a fixed bedtime of 8am instead - good stuff. Neither of these are too extreme and horses for courses.

Hi, thanks for your message. Yes you don't need to get out of bed and there doesn;t have to be a wolf in the bedroom. Sometimes it's just a case of overthinking / rumination / obsession - Hyperarousal rather than full blown fight or flight. But hyperarousal is still activity in the brain which can mask the sleep drive. Ever have a deadline for work or need to get an essay in last minute and worked super late? there isn't full blown fear here, but the brain does want to keep you alert. Take a look at these videos here - Hope they help! czcams.com/video/3Nl3i1sazbA/video.html czcams.com/video/pJ8hkgJJAgE/video.html czcams.com/video/-xtrEXkFGnE/video.html

@@InsomniaTalks Thank you! I'll check those videos out.